Wedding cake
by The Better Side
Summary: After a fake declaration, Stephanie finds herself mixed into a string of lies that might just lead her to the altar. The bad part? Ranger's the supposed groom and she’ll have to convince the man of mystery into playing along.
1. Prologue

Full Summary: Stephanie's mouth gets her into a world of trouble this time. After a fake declaration, she finds herself mixed into a string of lies that might just lead her to the altar. The bad part? Ranger's the supposed groom and she'll have to convince the man of mystery into playing along. Soon after, her life is turned upside down while she tries to keep up the charade, sort out her feelings for Joe Morelli and figure out why the thought of marrying Mr. Manoso isn't freaking her out.

Enjoy.

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**Prologue.**

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I've often wondered about my death and how it would come to be. It's inevitable of course because everyone dies sooner or later. When and how are the two very significant questions however. I don't picture my death real spectacular. Maybe a stray bullet to the skull, getting fire bombed, run down or pelted with stuffed animals. And, in my line of work, all of those things are possible.

At the moment I was contemplating suicide. I was wondering if a fork to the eye would be very painful.

"Stephanie, are you listening to me?"

I reluctantly glanced at my mother and smiled to show my acknowledgment and she continued on with her rant. It was something different every day; she hated my job, she worried about my health, she fussed over my love life. Different things everyday yet the same gist every week.

My love life was the subject for today which, now that I think about it, is down the pooper. I'm_ off_ with my on again, off again boyfriend, Joe Morelli and still treading water with my mentor Ranger. Yet that didn't make it justified for my mother to nag at me about it. I knew I was a loser when it came to love. I didn't need constant reminders from my friends and family as well. Hell, even the _men_ in my life knew I was hopeless.

In a way, I hated them. Because, if not for their interference into my life, I wouldn't be enduring this. It was all their fault. But, as I thought back on it, _I_ was the one who had slid _my_ ass right into their lives.

A few years ago, when I took on the job of bond enforcement, my first case had been to bring in a Trenton cop accursed of murder. That cop was Joe. He was close to six feet, had all the hard muscles of an Italian and his eyes resembled melted chocolate. His butt was the greatest butt I have ever laid eyes on. I tried living with him once before and he threw away my peanut butter so I had to move on out. No one touched my PB&J.

While I tried to track down Morelli, I went to an ex-Special Forces Marine for help. That was Ranger. He's a few inches shorter than Morelli, has dark skin, dark hair that's cut short, a body of gold and a Dwayne Johnson smile. Our relationship was complicated. While I tried to get past his mysterious, dark _exterior_ he tried to get into my _interior_. He was the Cuban-American Batman.

I glanced around the table; at my father who was shoveling food, my Grandmother Mazur who stayed with my parents who was trying her best to crane her neck to see the television in the other room and then at my mom. She was still speaking but I had droned it out until it was equivalent to nothing more than a bee buzzing.

The fork was beckoning me._ Just a quick thrust Steph and the pain will be gone..._

I brought it forward, thought better of it and then set it down with a sigh. If I stuck it through my eye, _new_ pain would arise.

"Stephanie?" My mom was staring at me sternly. I waited for her to speak. "You aren't listening are you?"

"Uh...of course." Somewhat. "But I have to go now so..."

"Don't you want dessert?"

See here, this is my problem. I was a sugar fiend. And the question I had to ask myself was; is the pineapple cake worth it?

Ten minutes later I stood before the cake cutting a slice with my Grandmother and mother behind me. I turned to stuff it in my mouth and my mom went off again.

"Stephanie! Why if you lay off all the sweets then maybe a guy would propose to you."

I resented that. Hadn't she been the one to con me to stay by offering it? Besides, what did she mean '_maybe_'? What, was it crazy if a man proposed to me? Morelli proposed once. I turned him down of course but it still happened. I would have told her so but my mouth was full of cake.

"Stephanie will be fine alone." Grandma Mazur said. "She's like me. We're both independent."

I would have been flattered by this comparison had it been anyone other than my Grandma. I didn't really want to be like an old woman who couldn't drive, spent most of her free time at funeral homes and was one screw lose from completely losing it. My father once joked that my Grandpa Mazur had intentionally gotten a heart attack to get away from her. I was pretty sure that wasn't true.

"Stephanie doesn't want to be alone."

"Well how do you know?"

"She needs a husband!"

"She'll be perfectly fine without one."

"But she'd get lonely."

"She'll always have me."

I nearly choked. This was getting out of hand. I watched my mother put her hands on hips and say, "I suppose that's the best she'll get."

That statement got my blood pumping and I finally felt the beginnings of anger seep into my skull. The best_ I'd _get? The nerve! Why was that the _best_ I'd get? I could pull a man damn it! I felt my eye twitch and my teeth clenched.

Then it happened. Something I'd come to regret later on. Fury and shock clouded my mind; I swallowed, frowned and exclaimed, "I'm engaged!"

It was out of my mouth before I could even think about it. The looks of disbelief on the two women's faces boosted my ego some. Hah! Showed them. I wouldn't be lonely or sad because I am _engaged_.

Oh shit, what!? Did I hear myself right? I'm _ENGAGED_?

"To who?" My mother croaked.

The next words out of my mouth were so insane that I suggest you send any children who are prone to repetitive behaviors out of the room at this moment. I wouldn't want them to repeat something so utterly foolish and unorthodox after all. I suppose I could blame my stupidity on the sugar and my mom. All she had to do was drop it and I would have went on with my day, _unengaged_. But no, she had to push me until I said something I deeply regretted. She had to pin me into a corner like an animal and, like any cornered mammal, I lashed out.

"To Ranger."

I'm engaged to RANGER!?

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Haha. ^_^


	2. Chapter One

Wow. I did not expect that many people would like this haha. Thank you all so much, hope you enjoy this next installment as well.

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**Chapter One**

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My mouth, I would come to realize, has a brain of its own. A maniacal, infuriating, obtuse brain that worked very hard to land me in hell. It had already positioned me on the path leading to the fiery pits in less than two minutes. And the sad part was that I couldn't control it. I worried where it'd put me in ten minutes.

"Well where's the ring?"

I blinked in confusion and then frowned. Damn it, a ring! You needed a ring when you got engaged!

I looked down at my finger and then back at my mother's skeptical gaze. She didn't believe me. I didn't blame her considering the fact that I was the worst liar on the face of the Earth. But I suspected she wasn't suspicious of that though. I think she was still trying to grasp the idea of a man wanting me. I huffed and said, "...At his house! He has it. Yes, that is where it is. At his house."

"Where's his house?"

Another setback. Technically, I didn't know where Ranger's house was. I knew where he slept, ate and worked out of when he came to Trenton but the official bat cave was somewhere completely different. I suspected it was off the map, underground and far away. So I gave my mother the directions and address to the Rangeman compound.

She mulled that over and glanced at my Grandma Mazur. They looked to be silently communicating. I really didn't know what either was thinking. They had only met Ranger a few times in the past and he didn't make a very good first impression. Especially when it came to marriage. He wasn't mean or anything, just the opposite. Ranger was quiet, withdrawn and deadly. My Grandmother liked his appearance and my mother feared his attitude. I did the latter.

My father, on the other hand, wasn't entirely satisfied with Ranger. So, at the moment, I was glad he was sitting in the living room with his eyes glued to the television.

"When did this happen?" I could see my mother was trying to keep her cool but I saw her eyes stray to the cabinet where she stored her liquor. I felt for her. It was one thing to have a daughter named 'Bombshell Stephanie' but it was another to have that same daughter announce her engagement to Batman after she had just broken it off with a man who was, what my mother considered, 'perfect husband material'. She didn't know anyone else with daughters who married mysterious guys, I was quite sure of that.

My mouth spoke before my brain again. "A few weeks ago."

"A few weeks ago you were with Joe."

"I meant today."

A raised eyebrow from my mom but she let it go. Probably because she didn't want to miss the opportunity of marrying me off. "Does Joe know?"

_Ranger doesn't even know_. "Not...yet."

Grandma Mazur finally spoke up. "Well hot dang! We're gonna have a black man in the family!"

"He's not black."

"Well what is he?"

"Cuban."

My Grandmother's face fell a tad. "Can we pretend he's black?"

My mom wouldn't let up however. She walked over to me and grabbed my hand. "..Are you sure you want to marry him?"

I looked at her expression and my eyes bugged out. Holy cow, they believed me! They really thought I was engaged! Okay, this was escalating into drastic proportions. I had to stop this before it was too late. Before I got sucked into a circle of drama and lies. I opened my mouth, my brain finally in control but the only thing that came out was, "Of course I do."

My brain betrayed me.

There was a sigh from my mother and I wondered how much she'd drink after I left. "Fine. If that's your decision then I support you. Have you planned a date for the wedding?"

Wedding? I started to mentally hyperventilate. I needed to jot down notes for this: _Engagement equaled ring which led to wedding_. "Uh...not yet."

"How about a June wedding?" My Grandma was saying, waving her hands in the air. She was pretty upbeat about it. "Or a July? Oh no, have it on Halloween! That'll be a pip of a wedding."

Leave it to my Grandmother to associate a wedding with a holiday where you dressed up as devils and monsters.

My mother gasped. "Stephanie will not be wed on Halloween!" She shook her head at the notion and turned back to me. "Don't worry sweetie, I'll help you plan it all out. Oh I can't believe you're engaged!"

Then she did something that made me feel horrible. She hugged me. It was rare for my family to show physical contact with each other. Not because we didn't care but because the foundation of our love centered around pot roast.

When she let me go, she gave me a big smile and I forced one in return. I thought about coming clean once more, telling them that it was all a joke but the look on their faces kept me from doing so. I had already inflated their enthusiasm and I didn't want to be responsible for deflating it. Besides, I didn't want to see the look of disappointment crumple their faces. They were animated, chatty and joyous. And they looked proud. Almost relieved. They were overjoyed for me.

So I excused myself by saying I had to get back to work and this time, my mother didn't rant like she use to do about my job. She simply hugged me again, waved and said she'd call tomorrow to start with the preparations. She didn't even state that it was eight o'clock and way too late to be working.

I slid behind the wheel of the run down, used 1989 blue Sedan I had recently purchased and watched my grandmother and mother wave excitedly at me as I backed up and drove off.

As soon as I hit a red light, I let out a good scream. The man in the car next to me gave me a weird look but I didn't care. In under twenty minutes I had gotten engaged to my mentor, lied to my family about it and most likely, supplied ammunition for the biggest, baddest rumor in history to swirl through the burg. I had _big_ problems to worry about.

The first action on my agenda was getting to Ranger. I'm pretty sure he'd want to know about our engagement after all.

*******

Turns out that Ranger was nowhere to be found. _'In the wind'_ was how I explained his erratic absences like this. I left a voicemail on his cell phone telling him to call me back, checked in with the Rangeman employees and confirmed that he'd be back 'later.' Honestly, that was the best answer I got. His right hand man, Tank was leading it at the moment and talking to him was like talking to a giant, brick wall. 'Later' could mean later today, later tomorrow night or even later next month.

I wasn't sure if it was good luck or bad luck that Ranger was away. On one hand, that gave me more time to get my story straight and maybe, just maybe, I could clear this all up before he came back.

But on the other hand, if he returned and the news got to him before I did, I wasn't sure what he'd do. He wasn't a violent man and rarely showed any emotion but I knew his view on marriage. Give him murderers, guns and ninjas and he'd take them down but God Forbid you show him a ring and mention ceremonies. It was like the black plague to him. Still, I was being positive and assumed that he wouldn't be too pissed at me. He liked me after all. Right?

I pulled into Vincent bonds office and dragged my feet through the door. It was run by my cousin, Vincent hence the name. It was fairly easy job or, at least, it was suppose to be. My cousin bonded criminals out of jail and they were suppose to show up for court at their designated time. Eight times out of ten, they didn't and that was when I came in. My job was to drag them back to jail and get them rebonded. I was really hoping that my mom and Grandma Mazur had kept their mouths shut and that it hadn't reached here yet.

But, of course, I wasn't _that_ fortunate. In the burg, news traveled fast. Almost faster then the speed of light.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I was attacked by a swirl of purples, reds, and greens.

"You're engaged!?"

I tore my gaze away from Lula's skintight animal print and glanced up at her face. I had meant Lula around the same time I had met Morelli and Ranger. She was a former 'hoe who had taken the job of filing for my cousin, Vinnie here at the Bonds Office. She was black with blond hair, a body that had been abused from greasy foods over the years, wore fabric that was at least three sizes too small and did very little filing. Mostly, she just tagged along with me when I went skip searching.

Lula looked like she might explode. "To Ranger!?"

"When did _that_ happen?" That was Connie Roselli. She worked for Vinnie as well. Her desk was positioned right before his office to ward off evil and she was in that spot at the moment, staring at me with wide eyes. Connie was a few years older than me, a little fatter than me and a little more voluptuous. She knew Ranger because he had worked for Vincent once upon a time ago.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us." Connie frowned.

"I would have sworn you'd marry Morelli." Lula was muttering.

Vinnie poked his head out of his office and locked his eyes on me. "I heard you're engaged."

"To Ranger." Lula told him, puffing out her chest as if she were proud. It almost caused her breasts to pop out. Vinnie grimaced at the scene, shot me a look of disbelief that I could only determine meant he couldn't see why Ranger would bother and then went back into his office.

I decided that silence was my best choice right now. If I didn't speak then, technically, I wasn't lying.

My plan backfired when I suddenly realized it had gone silent and their eyes were on me, waiting.

I blinked. "What?" _Nice Steph_.

"You been awfully quiet." Lula told me, sucking her teeth. "I'd be real giddy and happy if I was marrying Ranger." She eyed my finger. "Where's the ring?"

"At his house." I had that line down pat. "In his apartment at Rangeman. That's where it is."

"Well? Are you gonna tell us the juicy details or what!?" Connie exclaimed. "How'd he propose?

"Yeah spit it out." Lula pressured. "We're dying to know. I always thought you two would make a good couple. Lord, he didn't get down on his knees did he? Wouldn't that be a site to see? Ranger on his knees?"

It really would be considering that the only time I had ever seen Ranger on his knees was when he had been pummeled with bullets. "Oh it really wasn't...a big deal. He just kinda...asked." I'm wonderful at making up things, aren't I?

Luckily, Lula and Connie were so caught in the gossip that they weren't worrying about the actual facts. Their eyes got big and wide. "Wait a minute, does Morelli even know?"

This was the second time someone had asked me that and now, as I thought about it, I wasn't so sure. I felt panic rise in my chest and I started to sweat. If the news had made it to the Bonds office then, more than likely, it had made it around the whole damn town by now. The only thing that could prevent Morelli from knowing would be if he was out of town on a job.

My phone rang and I glanced down at the screen. My panic grew. It was Morelli. I pressed 'ignore', turned off the ringer and pocketed it. "I'm not sure."

"He's gonna be pissed."

I didn't disagree. Morelli's outlook on Ranger was borderline hate. He thought he was a psycho, secretive murderer. Forty percent of our arguments centered around my relationship with Ranger. I did NOT want to see his reaction to this news. There'd be a lot of yelling, thrown objects and cursing.

"Speak of the devil."

I turned to see Lula peeking out of the window outside to the parking lot and paled. "Who is it?"

"It's him, the sexy cop. You know, now that you're taken, can I take a stab at him? His butt is delicious."

I didn't answer because I was already at the backdoor. I grabbed the Failure to appear files on the way out and was out of there. I heard Lula yell faintly that she still needed the whole scoop. I sneaked around to the front, mentally cheered and hurried to my car, got in, threw my files on the passenger seat and burned rubber.

From my rear view mirror, I could see Morelli standing at the door, hands on hips, watching me drive away.

He didn't look very happy.

*******

I really wanted to go home, curl up in my bed and wake up to find that this whole day had been nothing but a dream. But, I was sure that if Morelli went hunting for me, he'd go to my apartment first. So I sighed and looked over my files as I drove. There were five of them and none looked especially tempting at the moment.

While I sorted out 'easiest' to 'hardest', my cell phone rang. It was Tank. "Yo."

"You're engaged?"

I banged my head against the steering wheel. Damn it, the news had finally made it to Rangeman. I banged my head harder.

"What was that sound?"

"I hit my head."

"Ouch."

I collected myself and turned a corner. "It's a long story."

"I bet."

"Just don't tell Ranger."

"So you don't want him to know he's engaged?"

It might have been my imagination but I could have sworn I heard amusement in his voice. "I'll tell him."

"Good luck."

I hung up and let out a heavy sigh. As I've stated before, Tank isn't the best at small talk but he is, if nothing more, the most loyal to Ranger. That being said, I wasn't so sure he'd keep his mouth shut. Then again, I got the feeling that he didn't want to even be included in it. He knew Ranger as good as I did and, quite frankly, I wouldn't have gotten involved in something this ludicrous either.

I ignored another call from Morelli and decided that working would keep my mind off of everything that had happened. It was close to nine and that gave me a bit of daylight left until night came over. I picked up a file, re-read the information and went off in search of him.

The FTA was named Henry Watnetz. He was accused of indecent exposure and had been brought in on charges of assault as well. He looked to be around thirty or forty years old and, in his mug shot, his right eye drifted to the side. His address was in an apartment complex right outside the burg.

I pulled into the lot, got out and hiked my purse on my arm. I had a stun gun, pepper spray and cuffs in the purse along with woman accessories. The only gun I owned was sitting in my apartment kitchen in my cookie jar. Guns terrified me.

I walked all the way up to the fifth floor, knocked on apartment D5 and waited to catch my breath. I was horribly out of shape. Maybe I _should_ lay off the sweets.

The man in the mugshot came to the door and gave me a bored look.

"Bond Enforcement. You missed your court date and have to-"

I didn't get to finish because the man rammed his shoulder into my stomach and took off. I wobbled after him, pain tearing my eyes and caught him before the stairs. I dove for him, his legs buckled and we tumbled down the steps in a tangle of limbs.

When I came to a few seconds later, my head hurt, my stomach ached and I was dizzy. Henry was on top of me, groaning. "You pushed me down the steps."

"You hit me in the stomach!"

"I think my collarbone is broken."

I flipped him off of me and he moaned again. My hair was a mess and my body stung but I still got to my feet. "If you would have let me finish then I would have informed you that you missed your court date and you have to reschedule."

"I hurt _everywhere_." He whined, eyes crossed. "I think something is really broken."

I frowned but leaned down to inspect. I really didn't want to be responsible for a serious injury. As soon as I kneeled, he swung me over and ran off into the dark.

I blew out a sigh, went to retrieve my purse that had fell off my shoulders when I fell down the steps and slid gingerly into my car. The sad thing was that this was an everyday occurrence. I almost never got caught anyone. And, when I did, Ranger always helped me.

The thought brought the man back to my mind and I moaned. I hated my life sometimes.

I put my key in the ignition and chugged off. The only thing that could cheer me up right now was a peanut butter and olives sandwich. With that in mind, I headed home, positioning Henry and the other FTAs at the back of my mind. I could always try again tomorrow.

*****

My apartment, for lack of a better word, was...humble. It was on the third floor of the solid brick building, housed many senior citizens and was a maniac magnet. Probably because I lived in it. My apartment was furnished only with a fridge, a couch, a T.V, and a bed. The ugly, bathroom had a toilet, a sink and a bath. No curtains, no rugs, nothing fancy or expensive. It wasn't like that because I tried to save money, no. It was like that because I _didn't have any_ money.

As soon as I got home, I checked my cell phone. I had four messages. Two from my mother, one from some salesman and one from Morelli. I deleted them all and made my sandwich. It was close to ten twenty when I finally got into my pajamas and went to sleep. Rest would calm me. Rest would take my mind off my stupid mouth and what it had gotten me into.

I awoke later on in a daze. My eyes swung to the clock by my bed that read: Five fifty two am. I squinted into the dark of my room, searching for whatever had jolted me awake.

I found the reason a second later.

Someone was in my room. A shadowed figure was standing over my bed. I tried to scream but no sound came out. I wanted to bolt but my muscles wouldn't cooperate.

Then the figure leaned down and I recognized who it was. It didn't make my panic lessen any.

I felt hands wrap around my collar and then suddenly, I was lifted out of bed and put on my feet.

"We have to talk."

Oh boy.

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Now, who could that be? No, honestly, who could that be? Puh. Haha.


	3. Chapter Two

Hey Hey Hey. To answer a reviewer: I'm a total, completely incorruptible Babe haha. But I don't necessary hate Morelli. He's awesome. Just not as awesome as Ranger ^_^ && I won't tell you if this story is a babe story or not because that would give away the ending, right? Sure. Just read and find out! (I'm evil, I know.)

Btw, yes, Ranger appears in this chapter! Huzzah.

Well, I own nothing of course. ONWARD!

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**Chapter Two**

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The light came on and I stared at Morelli through sleep crusted eyes. I tried to form a sentence but nothing was coming out but yawns. You'd think that I'd be accustomed to being awakened in mid slumber by now but I'm so totally not. Besides, Morelli almost _never_ did this. That was Ranger's MO. He was the Spiderman of this age; climbing through windows, sliding through doors, unlocking bolts magically. Why would Morelli have to sneak in to see me?

Probably because I was going to try and avoid him as long as possible and he knew it. I'll admit, he might be a chauvinist sometimes but Morelli's smart. Street smart, cop smart, book smart, whatever. And there was NO doubt in my mind what he wanted to speak to me about.

"I waited for you last night and you didn't come home so I waited to catch you before you got up this morning."

As I assumed. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or freaked out. I rubbed my eyes and have him a glance over. His clothes were disheveled, his hair was tousled and long overdue for a haircut, his eyes were bloodshot and I could see he hadn't shaved in a while. He didn't look like someone who had just gotten up. He looked like death walking.

"I just got back from a long night shift so I'm in no mood for crap right now."

And this was where I froze. It's not that I'm scared of Morelli but he can be intimidating. Especially now while he looked like a bum with murder in his eyes. Although, he still pulled off the sexy bum look. He was like a taller Johnny Depp.

"Well?"

I hadn't spoken the entire time and I just now realized my eyes were half closed. I was in no mood to be questioned. I needed sleep. I thought about explaining this to him but before I knew it, I was being dragged from the room. Then I was getting cold water splashed on my face and I came alive instantly, gasping and gaping down at my soaked pajamas before sending him a glare.

"What was that for!?" I screamed.

"I had to get you up. You looked like you were sleepwalking."

"Because it's freaking six in the morning!"

He didn't respond because he was looking at my chest which was clearly visible from the water. I saw his eyes get dark and he must have fought off the temptation because he gave me a hard stare. "How else was I suppose to talk to you? You haven't been returning my phone calls and keep running away from me."

I saw the anger simmering under his calm facade and real panic started to seep in. I knew that he must have vented all his frustrations on his furniture at home and yelling at the T.V screen. Damn! He really was pissed. And the only thing that was scarier than a loud, pissed Morelli was a quiet, pissed Morelli. Shit, he had even been able to fight off his animal urges! This was bad. This was real bad.

"I wasn't running away from you." I lied. It seemed the only thing I _could_ do these days.

He raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?" Then, with lightning fast speed that I wished I could obtain, he cuffed my right wrist to the inside of the bathroom door handle. I blinked, did a double take and my eyes widened in shock. Where the hell had cuffs come from!?

"What is this about!?" I nearly screamed, rattling the cuffs.

There was no hint of a smile on his face. "Had to guarantee you'd stay in place."

I set my face into a scowl and balled my hands into fists. The infuriating thing was that this wasn't the first time he'd done something like this. I had a faint recollection of me being handcuffed to the shower railing, butt naked. Not my finest days. I lunged out to strangle him with my free hand but he moved back just enough to stay out of reach. I felt my eye twitch and clenched my teeth."Uncuff me." I spat out.

"If you want out then I suggest you cooperate."

"I _was_ cooperating! You're lucky I didn't kick you in the gonads!"

A slight smile curved at his lips for a split second before falling. He was amused. Just great. "Now tell me," He leaned on the wall opposite the bathroom, hands in pockets, the picture of content. The eye of the storm. "who proposed to whom?"

I thought about staying silent, about ignoring him but his gaze was so intense and I couldn't keep my indifferent face up. It quickly changed into anger. "What do you care for?" I thought I sounded quite spiteful.

His mouth twitched down into a frown. "_Who_ proposed to whom?"

I searched his face, tried to find some sort of amusement, some sort of sign that said he didn't believe the rumors but his face was almost expressionless. He _must_ have believed them and I suppose that my skirting around the incident had only added fuel to the fire.

So I got angry. More angry. Because when you're lying, that's all you ever seem to feel. Whether it was anger at the situation you lied about or anger at everyone else who was putting in their two cents, it didn't matter. I didn't owe Morelli a damn thing. Not one. We were no longer a couple so his opinion of what I did didn't concern him. And he sure as hell didn't have the right to handcuff me and try to pry in_ my_ life.

He must have noticed my stubborn glare because his eyes narrowed. "Damn it Stephanie, are you insane?"

"Excuse me?"

"Marrying _Ranger_?! RANGER?" I saw his muscles tense; his mask of apathy withering. "Are you serious? Are you really engaged to him? Huh?" I saw him eye my finger.

"The ring's at his house." I'm not sure why I said that. My mouth at work again.

"Awesome." He spat out sarcastically. "Just fucking awesome. When a stable, reliable man asks you to marry him, you say no. But when a psychotic, homicidal maniac asks you to marry him, you're all for it."

"Oh yeah right! You're proposal was a joke and we both knew it! Besides, I wasn't ready then."

"So you are now?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I wanted to say yes, of course I am just to break his ego but that seemed mean. I liked Morelli after all. Fine shit, I _loved_ him okay? And I still do. I could see he was hurt and probably felt betrayed and I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to assure him that it was all a guise and that no one was really getting married.

But I didn't. I just stared down at my feet. Ironic that when I _wanted_ to speak, my mouth was silent. Dumb thing.

I heard him sigh. "I have to go. My shift starts again soon. I should have been sleeping this entire time." I wondered if he regretted trading his slumber to see me. Most likely. He moved towards me, produced a key and released me from the door. I rubber at my wrist and watched him back away almost awkwardly and I grimaced. "We aren't finished here." It almost sounded like a threat and I didn't reply.

Morelli didn't bother to say goodbye or even wave as he walked out the front door. I blew out a sigh and locked it. I felt my eyes burn and tried to figure out why I was such a ditz when it came to love.

I stared at the door for another beat, hoping in vain that he'd return but then gave up and went in search of ice cream. You see, that was the bright side to my Plum heritage. Instead of crying and lying in bed over a man, we Plum women just ate as much sugar as we could and got humongous.

That's probably why I felt disloyal to my heritage when I grabbed the carton of chocolate and vanilla, crawled into bed and scooped wads of it into my mouth. I hadn't known I was crying until I saw the tears fall into the carton.

Great.

I set my alarm, wiped my face and curled up in a ball. It was Six thirty two. Way too early to be up fussing over men. It was way too early for anything really.

******

"Where have_ you_ been?"

I fell onto the couch that occupied the far side of the Bonds office and sighed. Connie was in her seat doing paperwork and, believe it or not, Lula was_ filing_. Talk about a miracle. Of course she stopped as soon as I entered. It was close to twelve and I was still exhausted. I blame the ice cream.

"Hello? Earth to Stephanie?"

I turned to see the women giving me weird looks. Then Lula said, "Oh boy, I know what's wrong with you. Its Ranger isn't it? He's getting cold feet?"

I nearly rolled my eyes. "No, he isn't." I couldn't see Ranger getting cold feet over anything. "Besides...he's out of town...momentarily."

"Is that why you're stressed?" Connie nodded knowingly. "I would be like that too if my fiancé was out of town. So when is the wedding? We get to participate right?"

"Who cares about the wedding?" Lula snorted. "I just wanna see the rock. Is it huge!? Ranger looks like a man who would buy a huge ring. I bet it's bigger than Mars. Where is it?"

"At his apartment." I repeated stonily. At the moment, that was the only thing I kept frequently lying about. Besides the obvious engagement in itself. I was getting sick to my stomach speaking about it now. The panic was still present but it was dwindling and I suppose that was a good thing right?

I was sure the panic would be back when my _fiancé_ returned however. I blew out another sigh.

"Wow that sigh sounded big." Lula said. "That sounds like a sad sigh."

I got up. "Nah, I'm just bummed about not being able to find my skips. I went for one of them last night and he ran off."

"Well I'll come with you to help get him. Then I can get some more info from you about this Ranger deal. You haven't told me much about it."

Oh goody. Connie chimed in. "Let me know what she tells you when you get back!"

We took my Sedan because Lula claimed that her Firebird was brand new and that the last time we drove in it, it blew up. That was all true for the record. I destroyed cars faster than druggies popped pills.

"Maybe we can stop by Rangeman and see the ring."

I felt my eye twitch. Why couldn't she let it go? "I'd rather not."

"Well why not?"

"Because...he doesn't want anyone to see it yet."

"For what? I'd want to show off my rock."

I glanced over at her skintight purple and black animal print and blinked. Yes, she liked to show off things alright. "I don't know...he's weird like that."

"Hn." Lula frowned. "He's no fun."

I wasn't even sure that Ranger knew the definition of fun. He was all hard, solid, intense work. Never ate meat, never ate sugar, never wore any color but black. Bah. Ranger wouldn't know fun if it bit him on the butt.

My mind wondered onto his butt and how it looked in his cargo pants and I almost jumped a corner. I braked, skidded and righted myself on the road.

Lula paled."Hey, watch where you going. We almost hit that pole."

I sighed.

"You sure have been sighing a lot lately."

Probably because I'm engaged to the Cuban American Batman and he didn't even know it. Probably because my mom is so proud of the fact that it's happening and was planning it as I speak. Probably because I was ruining my relationship with Morelli. Probably because I kept mentioning a damn ring that was nonexistent. Probably because I almost hit a pole fantasizing about Ranger's delicious butt.

My phone rang and I answered it. It was my mom.

"Stephanie, where are you at!? I can't plan a wedding without the bride or groom!"

"Mom..." I started in a sigh.

"Get over here right away!" Then she hung up and I sighed again. Wow, three in a row. I'm on fire.

"That was my mom." I told Lula. "We have to go over there and help with the wedding planning."

Lula cracked her knuckles. "That sounds like fun. Way more fun than chasing down criminals."

Although I was slowly having a nervous break down, I couldn't help but agree with her. Chasing down criminals was never fun.

******

When Lula and I walked into my parent's kitchen, another sigh escaped from my mouth.

"What was that sigh for?"

"That's probably her tenth sigh today." Lula shook her head.

My Grandma Mazur was sitting at the table, mountains of bridal magazines spread out to various pages while my mom was talking on the phone to someone who I supposed was the pastor at a church. A church she was booking for _my_ marriage. I thought about unplugging the phone but she was already hanging up by the time I reached her.

"We got a church!" She told me excitedly, grinning.

"Great." I muttered.

I saw my father in the other room, watching a game, a six pack in his hands. I took one look at his face and knew that he was trying to drown his problems in alcohol. And by _problems_, I meant his daughter marrying Ranger. My father wasn't a very complicated man. He liked beer, cheeseburgers, driving his cab and expected his daughters to marrying upstanding, possibly Red Sox fans. And if not, than he would accept a mechanic because the T.V broke down every now and then.

He hadn't expected Valerie, my older sister, to marry a pudgy lawyer and have an illegitimate kid and I suppose he hadn't expected me to marry a shadowy man named Ranger who might have killed people before.

"Hey, where is Ranger?" My mom asked, eyebrows furrowing as she searched around me and Lula.

"Out of town." I blurted out. "He'll be back...later."

"Out of town!? Doesn't he know that people don't go out of town before a wedding?" My Grandma Mazur said, eyeing the magazines before her.

"He'll be back." I assured. "But what's all this? We _just_ got engaged yesterday."

"The early bird gets the worm." My mom scolded, wagging her finger at me.

I hated early birds and I didn't especially like eating worms. Lula walked over to peer over my Grandma's shoulder. "That's a nice looking gown." She said, pointing at the magazine. "I'd look real nice in that."

We all blinked and I could see we thought the exact same thing: Lula didn't look good in anything she picked out for herself.

"We need to pick out some things." My mother was telling me while she dragged me towards the table. "Flowers, gifts, the food we'll serve, the caterers, your gown of course and his tuxedo, the band, the decorations and I'm thinking balloons and banners and some other choice items, the photographer, makeup, chapels, the cake and its topping, accessories, candles, candy...."

I felt about ready to faint. Who knew that getting married was so much work? I could see that my mom was overly excited about it. This was what she had wanted to do all along: plan out the perfect wedding for one of her daughters. Since she had been denied that pleasure with her first born she was taking it out on me. Her earlier worrying had now turned into a crazy obsession.

I was at the gateways of Hell now. I had to confess. I had to tell them _now_. Before they bought everything and spent money on something phony. "Mom," I started, my voice deep in conviction. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" She asked distractedly, chatting with Lula and Grandma Mazur about something in the magazines.

I took a deep breath and said loudly, "I....I do not want to have my wedding at a church!" I was such a wuss.

My mother cocked her head to the side. "Why not? All good weddings are held at church, Stephanie. Where else would you have it?"

"She could have it at the funeral house." Grandma perked.

"Or at the bonds office." Lula piped up.

I didn't find either of those locations pleasant and my mom didn't either because she looked horrified. "She will not be wed around dead people!" Her eyes wandered to her liquor cabinet and she made the sign of a cross.

I listened to them argue for a good ten minutes before my cell phone rang.

"He should be back in a few hours." It was Tank informing me of Ranger's return. This time I knew he was smiling. He was braced for fireworks. I wanted to scream, faint and smile all at the same time. I thanked the giant of a man for letting me know and hung up.

"I have to go. Ranger's...waiting for me." I told them. My mother instantly brightened.

"Oh, he's back!? That's great! Go get him and bring him back for more planning. After all, his input matters as well."

My eye twitched and I nodded, laughing nervously. I left Lula with my family and took off down the street towards Rangeman.

Ranger was coming back. And that meant the jig was up. Unless of course, I persuaded him to play along. I stopped at a red light and banged my forehead against the steering wheel.

He was probably going to think I was insane for concocting this. Insane and desperate and pitiful.

I let out a loud, hard, sad sigh because I knew that all three of those things were true.

*******

I was nervous.

I had arrived at Rangeman a half hour ago. I greeted the men, noted their amused expressions and realized that they all knew what was going on. This was one of those moments where I was glad that they weren't talkative. I let myself into the apartment and tried not to appear frazzled to Ella, the maid who worked for Rangeman. She brought up fresh fruit and instinctively left out clothes for me with the company logo on it. It was a normal thing for me. Whenever I showed up, it was usually because I needed work. I bet she wasn't expecting what was to come.

I threw them on the couch, sat down next to the outfits and fiddled with my fingers on my lap. But I was too jerky so I got up, started to pace, went into the bedroom and sat on his silky sheets.

The sheets made me want to crawl under them so I stood up, paced again and then went into his bathroom to stare in the mirror and rehearse the lines I had prepared in the car ride over.

"Ranger, we're engaged." I told my reflection. "Or at least, that's what everyone thinks." I faked a laugh. That was how far I got. By then, I figured he'd do one of two things: throw me out the window or roll with it.

Satisfied with that plan, I paced in the bathroom. My feet were getting blisters on top of blisters. I needed to keep still or I'd have to get a foot amputation. I stopped suddenly when my eyes caught on something: his shower.

I walked over to it, opened the screen and stepped in, smiling warmly at the bottle on the ledge.

There were three things that Ranger was known for: His amazing abs, silky hair and the Bulgari shower gel he used. It smelled so good I heard it gave women orgasms. I was yet to experience that but I had come close on more than one occasion.

I uncapped the top and smelled it, sighing contently after wards. A nice sniff of that shower gel and all your troubles would float away.

I was not prepared for what happened next. I suppose no woman would be prepared for what happened next. But I knew that ninety nine percent of the female population wouldn't have resisted it.

I was in the one percent. Along with the grannies who probably would have fainted with satisfaction and broken a hip. If only because I was a hopeless, confused klutz.

The shower screen came open and I turned to stare at Ranger. A very very naked Ranger who was giving me a look that said he wanted to smile. I covered my eyes and felt my face flush but it was already too late. I had seen _everything_, the whole deal, the entire_ package_ for lack of a better word.

And yes, I approved one hundred percent. It wasn't as if this was the first time I'd seen it. We a 'fling' a few years back when I was off with Morelli and believe me when I say Ranger is pure ecstasy in man form.

"Is this an invitation?"

"No." I squeaked out, hands tight over my eyes. "This is a coincidence."

"I'll take it."

"No you won't! What are you doing here!?"

"This is where I live."

"Tank didn't tell you I was up here?"

"No. I didn't even speak to him or anyone else for that matter. I've been up for more than twenty four hours and I was hoping to come home, take a shower and get some rest." I heard his voice get thick. "Although this is a pleasant surprise. This could lead to other things."

I gulped and stumbled back towards the back of the shower. "I don't think I want those other things." I still had my hands over my eyes tightly.

"It's not like you haven't seen it all before."

"It's been a while since I have though."

"Babe."

"Are you still naked?"

"Does it bother you that much?"

Not really. "Yes."

I heard some shuffling and peeked to see that he had put on some pants. That didn't help that fact that his chest was incredible fit. I stepped out of the shower and moved towards the bedroom. He leaned on the doorway to the bathroom and stared at me.

"How have you been?" I asked shakily, my voice sounding small. I was trying my best to recall my studied speech but it slipped from my mind as soon as I saw him naked. But can you blame me?

"Busy." His eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch. "Who died?"

"What?! No one."

"Your car exploded?"

"No."

"House burned down?"

I felt my eye twitch and put a hand over it to cease it. I was a bit offended that he expected disaster to follow me around. So what if I blow up a couple dozen cars, get hit with paint ball guns and attract psychopaths? Was that really my fault?! "I can't visit you without something terrible happening?!"

His lips twitched at the corners. "You're car isn't totaled, your house is perfectly intact and you look healthy. Either you're running from someone or you need to tell me something."

I hated how he knew everything. Yet I was relieved. No one had told him about the engagement yet! Whipee! I was in the clear for a little while longer! Before I could speak aloud, my phone rang.

"Stephanie, where are you!?" My mom exclaimed. "Is Ranger back yet?"

I turned to see his eyes were still locked on me. "Yep."

"Well what's taking you so long!? Hurry up, you're Grandmother is talking about the funeral home again." I heard the horror in my mom's voice and could overhear the arguing in the background. I told her we'd be right over and hung up.

Ranger hadn't moved from his spot. I gave him my best, forced grin. "Are you in a good mood?" It seemed like a good icebreaker.

He looked amused but I couldn't tell. "Depends."

"I need to tell you something." I watched him wait patiently for me to continue and I took a deep breath and did what I'd been doing since yesterday: I lied. "My mom needs help! She says that a burglar has been lurking around the house and I can't catch him. I was thinking you...could?"

He pushed himself off the wall and tilted his head slightly, analyzing my sheepish smile. He looked to be contemplating and I didn't know whether he was comparing the nightmare of hanging with my family to sleep or to wanting to help me. Then he walked into his closet and reappeared a few moments later with a black shirt on. "We're taking my Porsche." He believed me!

I smiled and followed him out. That was fine with me. I loved a good Porsche. Especially Ranger's sleek black ones.

It was when we drove out of the Rangeman lot when I realized with terrifying clarity that I had done the unthinkable: I had lied to Ranger.

I turned towards the window so he wouldn't see the grimace on my face.

*******

My panic increased to full on hysteria when we rolled into my parents' driveway and I could have sworn I was sweating buckets. Ranger gave me a look.

"You look sick."

"I'm fine. Just a little....queasy."

We got out and Grandma Mazur, my mom and Lula were at the door, waving excitedly. I felt my stomach flip. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Ranger glance at me but ignored him and quickened my pace. He wouldn't be able to murder me with witnesses around.

"Oh we've been waiting for you, Ranger!"

Finally, something flickered on his face and I knew that he was suspicious. He shot me another glance and I just kept smiling dumbly. He'd get nothing out of me. Besides, my tongue was way too dry and I couldn't speak.

Then it happened. And God Almighty, it was Lula who made it so. She squeezed past my mom and Grandma and flounced up to us, hands on hips and demanded, "Where's the rock!? I've been dying to see it. Come on, fess it up. Where is it?"

My Grandma Mazur was behind her, grinning without teeth and she exclaimed, "It's so nice to have you in the family, Ranger. I been dreaming about this day for a while but I always figured you'd end up with me." She eyed his body with no shame.

I finally dared a glance at Ranger but he was completely expressionless. I wondered what he was thinking. I wiped my brow.

My mother arrived down to join us, took his hand and shook it happily. "I'm so glad you proposed to my daughter!"

Silence. I flinched as if I'd been hit and snuck a look at him.

He didn't smile. Didn't frown. Didn't furrow his eyebrows. Didn't flinch. He just stared at my mom and then turned slowly to look at me. I waved meekly at him. "We're engaged." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. A statement that sounded a bit tense.

"That's right...._sweetie_." I forced out through clenched teeth. It was funny how my bravado inflamed with others around. If I had told him at the apartment, I might have jumped out of the window myself. I felt a sense of relief mixed with fear. I was glad that he knew but terrified of what he'd do now.

"We have so many things to do!" My mom was sprouting rapidly." First-"

"Excuse me." I felt a hand tighten around my elbow and looked to see that Ranger was shoving me towards the car. "I have to talk to my..._fiancé_."

"Oh okay..."I heard my mother say."We'll be waiting inside!"

A few seconds later, I was trapped in the car with Ranger. His arms folded across his chest, his eyes on me and I could swear his eyebrow was twitching.

"You lied to me." He sounded a bit amused. As if the idea of that was ridiculous. I knew how he felt. Lying to Ranger was like committing suicide. He shook his head and muttered to himself, "So that's why the guys were smiling at me. I'll have to make a mental note to give them all extra shifts."

"I can explain." I really couldn't but I didn't know what else to say.

"Talk."

"Well I was eating dinner and my mom, she kept talking about how I wouldn't get a husband so I'm sitting there thinking what she meant by that. I mean, I could get a husband if I wanted, right!? So she invites me for cake and then says that men don't want me because I eat too many sweets. Can you believe her? So I tell her I'm engaged because well...I don't know but I do and it feels so _good_ when I see her face! It was like gold. I finally put my mom in her place and it was fulfilling!"

He didn't say anything for a minute. "And?"

"Well that's it."

"I think I'm missing something here." He started, turning his gaze back on my parents' house. "You told your mother that you were engaged to be fulfilled?"

I nodded.

"And how did I come into this?"

"Well...you're the man I'm engaged to."

His mouth twitched and I wondered if he was trying to keep his cool. "Why me? Why not Morelli?"

"Because Morelli and I broke up." I huffed, anger taking over once again. "What, does that bother you? I'm not good enough to be engaged to?"

"Babe, I pictured our engagement an event that I was present for."

My heart fluttered at his words. Had he just said what I thought he said? Had he been preparing to propose to me? "You _pictured_ it already?"

Ranger looked like he wanted to sigh. "Either it was that or us in bed, I don't remember."

I frowned. He was taking it better then I expected. But then again, I hadn't really expected him to yell or storm around. _That_ was Morelli's MO. I was just grateful that I hadn't been thrown from any windows yet. "So....are you going to play along or what? It'll be for like one or two weeks tops, promise."

"And what do you expect to do after those two weeks?"

I had no clue. But that was fine because I never had a clue and I always got out of situations like this. I just needed time, space and a legitimate excuse. It took long than two weeks to plan a wedding right? "I'll figure out something"

"Babe, they're planning our wedding."

"I know." I whined, sniffing. I knew it. He thought I was an idiot and I didn't blame him because I was. I was the idiot of Trenton, Bombshell Stephanie, Hell reincarnated into a brown haired woman. "I tried to tell them the truth..I really did but...they seem so happy. I've been stressing my mom out ever since I became a bounty hunter and...I don't know…I guess I just wanted to make her...proud. I'm so hopeless." I felt my eyes sting and felt like an even bigger fool. Here I was; getting emotional over lying and fibs, claiming that I was doing it for my mom _and_ because of her. Now I was pulling an innocent man into it. I was a lame excuse for a human.

I looked up in surprise when I felt Ranger's finger wipe a tear off my cheek. His touch was soft and his expression mirrored it."You're not hopeless. You're just...complicated."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically.

Ranger put on an almost smile. "If it means this much to you then I can play along. Two weeks tops. But promise you won't cry anymore."

"Seriously!?" My eyes widened.

I saw his eyes twinkling with mischief. "I don't see why not."

I almost collapsed with relief. "Really? You're serious? Absolutely certain?"

"Sure." Ranger grabbed a strand of my hair and curled it around his finger. "But I want compensation."

Of course he did. I knew it was too good to be true. Ranger never did anything for free. I felt my stomach lurch at his touch and asked wearily, "I won't have to do anything kinky will I?"

His mouth curved into a wolfish grin while he stared down at me and I sighed. What had I gotten myself into?

* * *

Pretty long chapter, huh? I know. Anywho, I hope you liked it. Of course, drama ensures after this, just you wait.


	4. Chapter Three

Hello.

I feel a little bad because I wanted to reply back to every review but there's quite a lot. Haha. So, I will just tell you all right now that I'm happy you like my story and I appreciate the reviews :) Love you all.

ONWARD:

P.S: I own none of JE's original characters.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

* * *

I could see that Ranger was already regretting the decision to play along as soon as we sat down at the kitchen table. Almost instantly, my mother, Grandma Mazur and Lula crowded him; asking his opinions of things, inquiring about the proposal, bugging him about the ring (that was mostly Lula). I told her that he was getting it engraved and that it should be back later on tomorrow or so. She backed off after that.

I overheard my Grandma Mazur ask almost suspiciously, "My granddaughter aint marrying you because you got her pregnant is she?"

I waited to see black and faint but, unfortunately, my wish didn't come true. I felt my face burning and stole a look at Ranger. I saw the smile touching his lips and my eyes widened. All eyes were on him and I could sense what he was about to say before he opened his mouth.

So I kicked him under the table. He didn't flinch but he did flick his eyes towards me. "She's not pregnant. Yet."

It was an okay enough answer right? At least he wasn't going to throw me under the rug and say I already was. The other three women seemed satisfied enough too because they went back on chatting and poking at Ranger for more information. He wasn't even speaking much. He'd nod his head, answer with something curt and simple and sit patiently. I could see past the facade however. He was a little annoyed. I felt bad for him. It was hard enough to deal with my family without the added disadvantage of getting no sleep.

My mother didn't seem to be fazed by his aloofness. Her smile stayed in place, her animated features never faulted and I was pretty amazed by her persistence. I suspected that she'd continue with this wedding even if he got into a car crash and turned into a vegetable.

Great. How was I suppose to let her down easy? At least I had two weeks. Fourteen full days to figure out what to do about this insane situation.

Ranger made his escape a half of hour later. His cell phone rang, he excused him self to take it and then came back a few moments later. "I have to go." He said, nodding at the women. I panicked. No way was he leaving me here with these maniacs.

"We do too!" I shot to my feet, tried my best to drag Lula with me and followed him out. My mother was scurrying after us.

"Where are you going? When will you be back!? We've barely started yet!"

"I have to get back to my skips. And Tomorrow! We'll be back tomorrow! First thing in the morning."

"Well what is the number to Rangeman?"

I blinked. "Why do you need that? You can reach me on my cell."

"And what if you shut it off?"

"My apartment has a phone too."

I saw my mother stiffen at the statement and she frowned disapprovingly. "Stephanie! Fiancés don't live in separate homes! What kind of relationship is that?"

I wondered if my eye was twitching. "Mom, we're perfectly fine with this arrangement okay? Now-" I stopped because I felt someone behind me and turned to see Ranger, a shit eating grin spreading on his face.

"Actually, Stephanie is going to begin living with me. Starting today."

What the-? I gave him a wide eyed look. "I am!?"

I didn't want to stay with Ranger. Probably because I was too unstable and not ready to do _that_ again. Two weeks with Ranger and I'd might just break down and _really_ marry him. And neither of us wanted that. Or at least, I didn't think _he_ did. Ranger wasn't very complicated when it came to sex. When he wanted it, he got it. He wasn't so simple when it came to relationships. He once told me that his life wasn't cut out for them. But apparently, his life was just open enough for physical relationships. And I had the most peculiar sense that his 'compensation' would include that.

This explained my freaking out about staying with him. Not because I was scared he'd force me into his bed but because I was afraid I'd hop in without a second thought. And damn it, he knew that. I'm sure he also knew that I didn't normally go for one night stands. I was raised better than that.

"That's right." He said, staring at me. I saw the devilish glint in his eye and thought about kicking him again. "After all, we're getting married in a few months. It's only logical."

He conned me, damn it. I was going to have to live with him. I gave him my hardest glare, forced a sweet smile and sent it my mother's way. "I suppose so."

My mom seemed happy enough and she waved us goodbye as we exited. I told Lula to wait for me when she got settled into my Sedan and then marched towards Ranger's dark Porsche as he opened the door. I slammed it shut, put hands on hips and narrowed my eyes up at him.

"What was that!?" My voice was in-between a squeak and a whisper. Not attractive at all.

His eyebrows raised slightly. "What was what?"

"'_It's only logical'_?" I deepened my voice for a better imitation but it was virtually impossible to copy Ranger. "I can't live with you!"

"Why not?"

I didn't really have an answer to that. I guess I could have went ahead and said because he was scary and unpredictable and I was in a bad place right now and I wasn't sure if I could control myself from jumping his bones but instead, I wimped out and said, "Because I just...can't! You don't have any sweets in your house, your couch is uncomfortable and I won't have a place to put my clothes!"

Ranger smiled. "Babe, sweets are bad for you. Who says you'll be sleeping on the couch? And my closet is big enough for both of our clothes."

I was losing the battle. Probably because I didn't have any good reasons from the start and the ones I stated were lame. "What about Rex?" Last ditch effort. Rex was my pet hamster. He didn't talk much or _do_ much, for that matter, but he was like family.

He opened his Porsche door and said, "There's plenty of space for him too. We've done this before."

Yes we had and maybe that was why I was trying so hard at trying to avoid it again. And maybe that was why all my arguments wouldn't hold up against him.

"You don't want to disappoint your mother do you?" He asked. I sighed because I knew that was the clincher. I'd be staying with him. Damn him and his intelligence.

"Hey!" Lula called, her head sticking out of my car window. "Are you going to stand there flirting with your fiancé all day or are you going to hurry it up? I need donuts! I'm sugar deprived!"

I was too. I needed a least two dozen. Ranger gave me an amused look. "She considers this flirting?" I could see that he was considering showing Lula exactly how he flirted.

On that note, I jogged away from him. I'd rather not have a giant make out fest with Ranger in my parents' driveway. Mostly because if he started it, _I'd_ finish it in a not so PG-13 way. While I swiftly headed towards my car, I heard him call,

"See you at home,_ sweetheart_."

Both my eyes were twitching when I slid into the Sedan. "What's wrong with your eye?" Lula asked.

I sighed deeply. "It's the sun."

"First you're sighing all the time and now your eye is twitching. Maybe you should go to a doctor and get checked out. Maybe you have pre-wedding jitters."

There was no doubt in my mind about that.

******

After ordering the donuts, we chugged our way back to the Bonds office where Connie was finishing up some paperwork. Her head came up when we entered and she locked onto the boxes of donuts. "Those look nice."

"Help yourself." I said, setting them on her desk. She went to work on a Boston crème right away.

"So what's the scoop? Ranger come back yet?"

I didn't feel like talking about him which was probably why I said flatly, "Yeah."

Connie caught it. "What's the matter?"

"She's been sighing and twitching her eye all day." Lula repeated for at least the billionth time. "I think maybe she's nervous. I'd be nervous too if I was marrying a talk, dark and handsome man. Especially Ranger. He's got abs of steel. I can see them through his tight shirts."

"I'm not nervous." _Liar liar, pants on fire._

"Your eye is twitching."

Shit, I hated that damn twitch! "It's the sun, I told you."

"There's no sun in here."

Before I could come up with a better excuse, Vinnie poked his head out of his office and set his sights on me. "Why are you just standing around? I'm losing money because of you. Haven't you caught _any_ FTA's yet?"

No, I hadn't. I hadn't even searched for the majority of them.

"I'm not going to cut you slack just because you're getting married. Go out and do your job or I'll call someone better."

I watched my cousin duck back inside and rolled my eyes. It was a pretty empty threat because _everyone_ in the city of Trenton was better at me then this job. Besides Lula maybe.

"I would help you but I'm all full on those donuts." Lula told me.

"We'll stop at Cluck in a bucket."

"I guess it'll be good exercise for me." She quickly said, caving. "Lets go. And we're taking your car again because I don't got no insurance on my new Firebird."

*****

We hit Henry Watnetz again. The one who elbowed me in the stomach and who I rolled down the stairs with. I pulled into the apartment parking lot and Lula squinted at the building.

"It doesn't look very alive."

I agreed. It looked almost inhabited from the trip I made here at night. If there hadn't been cars scattered around I would have thought it was empty. We got out, trekked upstairs and I knocked on apartment D5 again. There was no answer so I knocked harder.

The door next to D5 opened and an old man stuck his head out. "What's all the racket?"

"We're looking for the man who lives here." I explained. "Henry Watnetz. Have you seen him?"

"Can't say I have. He disappeared a day or two ago." Right around the same time he fled into the night. The old man gave Lula a glance over. "You aint a performer are you?" He asked her. I could see how he thought that. She looked like a sad excuse for Marilyn Monroe.

Lula huffed. "Hell no. I'm a bounty hunter."

The old man raised an eyebrow, shook his head and then ducked back inside. We walked back to the car and drove away to visit the next FTA. Her name was Terry Gerald. She was somewhere between her late twenties, early thirties, had lots of long dark hair on the photo and had been accused of shoplifting two liters of Soda and a strawberry shortcake. She lived in the outreaches of the burg, a street away from Slater road where Morelli stayed in a house she'd inherited from his Aunt Rose.

We got out and walked up the pathway to her door. Before I could knock, the door came open and a little head with a bunch of unruly red hair peeked out. It looked up at me and I could see it was a boy with a lot of freckles. "Who are you?"

"We're bounty hunters." Lula told him.

His eyes widened. "Nuh uh! Bounty hunters aren't girls."

I saw Lula reach in her purse. "Oh really? Well let me show you my-"

"No! No guns! Put it away!"

"You're no fun."

The red head paled and shut the door. A beat later, it was opened again by who I could only assume was our FTA. Her black hair was pulled back and had a baby on her hip. "Can I help you?"

"We work for Vincent Bond enforcement." I told her, flashing my badge. "You missed your court date and have to reschedule."

She bit her lip. "But...I can't go to jail right now. I have kids."

There was no way in hell that I'd volunteer to watch her kids. Me and children didn't match. History had proved that to me. I could tell Lula was thinking the same thing because she flinched slightly. So I asked, "Can't someone watch them for you?"

She shook her head. "My husband is at work and I can't afford a nanny." Then she smiled sadly. "I knew I shouldn't have tired to steal but...I didn't have enough money to pay and my kids really wanted the soda."

I knew how she felt. I barely had enough money to pay for my rent as it was. Lula said, "Next time I suggest you buy a gun. I bet they wouldn't have stopped you with a gun. Besides, who were you going to feed with one strawberry shortcake? You should have taken lots of donuts, slim jims and pizza."

Terry furrowed her eyebrow in shock and disbelief and I sighed. "Tell you what; how about you call me when you have time and we'll get you bonded out in no time." She agreed to that, I gave her my number and Lula and I were off. The next person on the list was........Dickie Orr!? I did a double take. He hadn't been there a few days ago had he?

Lula saw my look, glanced at the sheet and smiled. "This is gonna be good."

I didn't think so. Dickie Orr was my ex-husband. We were married for a total of five minutes before I caught him '_doing the rabbit_' with my arch enemy, Joyce Barnhardt. I hadn't seen him since he had been put under police investigation months ago. I could have sworn he was doing time. The file said he had been caught carrying concealed. I wondered why he'd even purchase a gun.

The thing about Dickie was well....he was a major _dick_. He had no respect for women, no shame in lying and thought only of himself. I frequently found myself wondering why in the hell I had married him.

The address they gave me directed us to a two story house on a hill that was surrounded by trees. He had been embezzling from his last firm so he had lost that job yet the house was pretty expensive looking. He must have gotten a different job. Me and Lula got out, trudged to the front door and rung the doorbell.

Dickie came to the door and his eyes bugged out. "Oh shit."

I could understand the reaction. The most recent conversation we had had resulted in me attacking him. Not to mention Lula had swung out her gun.

"How'd you two find me? Shit, I have all the bad luck."

Oh yeah? He thought _he_ had bad luck? Well at least he hadn't lied about being engaged. At least he wasn't living with a man whom he loved but had no future with. At least he wasn't doing a dead end, disaster of a job.

"You missed your court date. You have to reschedule." I told him, doing a pretty good job at keeping cool. Whenever I saw my ex I often sensed a feral anger arise. I chalked it up to my intense dislike of his face.

He snorted. "No way. I can't go to jail. I didn't do anything wrong."

"You were carrying concealed."

"Who isn't?"

I felt my eye twitch and Lula huffed from beside me. "I don't got time for this. I'm chicken depraved." She told him.

Dickie eyed her outfit and I saw his mouth curve into a smirk. "Could have fooled me."

Wrong choice of words. Lula narrowed her eyes. "Did you just call me fat? Huh? Did you just imply that I'm fat?"

"You must be at least a gazillion pounds."

I saw something glint and turned to see Lula wielding her glock. Before I could stop her, she started to fire recklessly. I rolled and ducked in cover. When she ran out of bullets, I peeked out to see the damage.

Dickie was pale faced, lying on the ground shaking. He was unharmed as far as I knew but his door was pelted with bullet holes. Lula was the only person I knew who could miss a target that was standing right in front of her.

"She's crazy." He was muttering. "She's a crazy person. Get her away from me!"

"You the one who was being rude and calling me fat."

"You ARE fat!"

I got up and slid in between them to stop Lula. "Stop! You're going to kill him and no one wants that."

"Who says?"

Dickie got to his feet and tried to collect himself but I could see his knees shaking. "This is police brutality. This is against the law. This is _something_! I want a lawyer. I'm suing you for my door. Look at it. It's ruined."

"Oh no you won't!" Lula said, putting hands on hips. "If you do that then Stephanie will sick her fiancé on you."

Dickie went wide eyed and glanced at me. "Someone's _MARRYING_ you? What unlucky bastard went down on his knee for you?"

I felt anger boil in my blood and wanted to sock him but I resisted the urge. Besides, the last thing I wanted to do was drag a lifeless body down to the ocean.

"She's marrying Ranger." Lula told him, pointing her finger. "So I suggest you don't mess with her and do as we say."

His face froze for a moment before horror creased his brow. "Ranger? You mean that scary black guy who wears all black?" Then he shuddered. "I don't see want he'd want with you besides a nice fuck."

Suddenly, Dickie was on the ground, twitching spasmodically with drool rolling down his chin. I blinked, looked down at him and then asked Lula, "What happened?"

"You tasered him."

I glanced at my hand and sure enough, I was holding my taser with white knuckles. "That was weird. I don't remember."

"Hn." She grunted. "I'm glad we drove your car. I wouldn't want drool on my floor."

*******

I dropped Lula off at the Bonds office, gave Dickie to the police station to get my check and headed to my apartment to collect Rex and some items for my two week stay at Ranger's. As soon as I walked in, I saw the boots by the foyer and knew I was in trouble.

Morelli was waiting for me when I entered the living room. He was sitting on the couch, stretched out lazily, watching a game on my tiny T.V. He didn't move from his spot when he saw me.

"Surprise."

Not really. I was more surprised at the beer lying on the floor then at his presence. "What do you want?" I decided that playing the pissed of ex-girlfriend fit me better at his point. Especially after he locked me in my bathroom earlier today.

"I want to talk."

"We already did." I started towards my bedroom and he followed after. He watched me pack my clothes for a beat before saying, "Going to stay with your _fiancé_?" I could hear the hard sarcasm in his voice. Someone was still angry.

"If you must know then yes, I am."

His face flickered into fury before it filtered away. "So you're really going through with this?" I saw his eyes land on my stomach. "You aren't pregnant aren't you?"

I didn't know why but when Morelli asked the question it sounded almost taunting and spiteful. That made me angrier. "What do you care?" I was on thin ice and we both knew it. A few more statements like that and he'd explode. I carried my bag and tried to squeeze past him but he grabbed my elbow. I tried to struggle free but his grip was tight and he twirled me to face him.

His eyes were hard as he said, "You're making a big mistake."

I furrowed my eyebrows. Was it me or did that sound like a threat? I wrenched my arm free, pushed him out of the way and went into the kitchen to get Rex.

"Stephanie, listen to me. You don't want to do this."

How did he know what I wanted to do? What gave him the right to boss me around? Why _did_ he care? "Morelli," I started, picking up Rex's cage. I thought a bit and then started again, "Joe. We broke up okay? You don't run my life and what I do is none of your business."

"Are you doing this to get back at me, huh? If you are then you can stop it."

Talk about a gigantic ego. I rolled my eyes and walked away. "Morelli, this has absolutely nothing to do with you." Probably the only thing I had said in these last twenty four hours that was the truth. His shoulders sagged and I saw his eyes cloud with...disappointment? I quickly turned and exited the apartment. I didn't want to see how bad I'd hurt him. I hadn't _wanted_ to hurt him.

I loaded my bags and Rex in the car, slid behind the wheel and drove out of the lot.

Morelli's face appeared in my window as I screeched down the street. I bit my lip and swung my eyes back onto the road. I didn't want to think about him.

So I turned on the radio and told myself that those hadn't been tears running down his face as he watched me drive away from my apartment building.

*******

The Rangeman crew working in the high security building weren't as hard as they tried to act. Yes, most of them looked like giant, man eating rhinoceroses but they were soft at heart. I came to learn this from working for Ranger a few times in the past. There were a few of them that could be considered my friends.

Tank was one. The quiet, behemoth who carried photos of his kittens in his wallet. Tank was okay but he needed to work on his people skills.

Lester was another. He was big, heavily muscled and enjoyed all things violent. Lester was a confrontation waiting to happen. He either was working files or doing other security jobs that turned up.

Hal was the stegosaurus of the pack. He's not the sharpest but can definitely smash someone's skull in.

There were a few others that I knew but hadn't really talked to a lot. They all looked fairly friendly if you got pass the muscles, tattoos and fierce gazes. Ranger was always updating on personnel so there were new faces staring at me when I arrived on the surveillance floor. I had just dropped off Rex at the seventh floor apartment and hid my suitcase in the closet. I wasn't comfortable hanging my brightly colored clothes alongside Ranger's black ones yet. Ranger hadn't been there so after a pace around the kitchen, I opted to come down to the break room after Ella brought up carrots and other low fat crap my body probably couldn't digest.

The break room didn't exactly serve anything better but they had sandwiches. Sandwiches without bacon albeit but sandwiches nonetheless. I made a mental note to smuggle chocolates in later on. I grabbed a turkey sandwich and sat down at the table to eat it.

I opened my mouth and then froze. Was it just my imagination or was everyone staring at me? I blinked, blushed and then waved at the men. They all went back to work and I could see the smiles on their faces. I wondered if Ranger had given them extra shifts yet.

I was well on my way to sandwich number three when Lester sauntered into the break room and selected one himself. Hal and someone I didn't know trailed after. They all took seats opposite me.

"There's a rumor going around." Lester started, grinning. "That you're engaged to the boss."

I thought about how to respond. As far as I know, no one but Tank knew that this was all fake. I simply nodded. That seemed to confirm whatever doubts they had because all their eyes widened and they exchanged glances.

"Really? Jeez, I thought it was all a hoax." The guy I didn't know said. "Man, Ranger doesn't strike me as the marrying type."

Oh how spot on he was.

Hal asked, staring at my lone finger. "Where's the ring?"

"Uh...he's getting it engraved." We either needed to buy a real one or use a candy ring pop.

"You know, I always knew you two would get together. I could tell he liked you a lot."

I perked. "He said he did?"

The guys blinked. "Well no." Lester laughed. "He doesn't tell us personal stuff like that but everyone could tell. You're the only person besides Ella who's allowed on the seventh floor."

Oh joy. I was the only one here he wanted to drag into bed. How sweet. I didn't know why I was so disappointed. I guess, deep down, I really wanted to learn that he had told someone else about his feelings for me. Hah, yeah right. Ranger barely talked to me. He wouldn't speak to anyone else. Would he? I was going to start pulling at straws and hope to find out more about him in these two weeks. A lot more than I already knew. I _was_ suppose to be marrying him after all. That entitled me to something, didn't it?

The unidentified man smiled. "I'm real happy for you."

"Thanks." I muttered. They shuffled out after patting me on the shoulder and guilt washed over me again. I didn't deserve their good wishes or praise. I deserved to be stuffed into a grave and left to rot.

I decided that the only thing that could help me now was ice cream. Vanilla ice cream with lots of sprinkles.

*****

The first thing that came to mind when I opened my eyes was: _did I fall asleep_?

It seemed so. I could feel the silky sheets under me and knew that I was in Ranger's bed. The last thing I remembered was a large tub of ice cream so when had I crawled into his bed? I blinked to focus and suddenly felt something tighten around me.

It was Ranger's arm. I tried to roll away but he only pulled me closer and nuzzled my neck. "Hmm."

"Ranger!"

"What?"

"Why are in here?"

"It's my bed."

Well, he had a point. I struggled free and he came awake, sitting up. His upper body was bare and yummy looking. "Where are you going?"

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was close to seven o'clock am. "Was I asleep in the bed when you got in?"

"No, you were on the couch."

"So how'd I get in here?"

"I carried you."

I looked down and confirmed that all my clothes were still intact. "I was on the couch for a reason."

"And that reason would be?"

Damn it, I didn't have a reason. At least, not a good one. I wasn't with Morelli anymore, I was '_engaged_' to Ranger and there was no shame in sleeping beside him.

He voiced my thoughts aloud. "What are you worrying about? You're single."

"Yeah well I'm off men for the time being."

"Babe, you told everyone we were engaged."

Damn it, he always had better comebacks. I always sounded stupid and unreasonable whenever we argued. It wasn't fair. I wanted to be the cool, collected one for once in my life. I wanted to make some good points sometimes. Maybe I could if I didn't blurt out things all the time. Maybe I should learn to control my mouth. I stuttered out, "Yeah well...you know we're really not!"

"Details Babe, details." He ran a hand up my arm. "You're just afraid."

I felt electricity ignite under his touch and tried to appear strong. "I am not." It came out as a weak whimper. Before I knew it, he had pulled me on top of him. My eyes wandered down to the edge of the covers and I found myself fantasizing about the concealed flesh under it.

"Prove it." He breathed in my ear. "Let's go get married for real. Right now. Let's elope."

I was _pretty_ sure he was just kidding but my heart skipped erratically at the offer. His hand trailing under my shirt wasn't helping much either. There was no way I'd call his bluff. "I would...but uh, that'd destroy my mom. She's looking forward to the wedding and uh...I don't have anyone to take care of Rex. Besides, I said I'm off men. No men for me, no siree. No eloping. "

Ranger saw past my bullshit excuses and smiled. "Chicken."

I sighed. He was right. I was a huge chicken. My cell phone rang and he grudgingly let me go to answer it. My mom, of course. "Are you up?" I was now. "You and Ranger better hurry over. We're choosing the flowers today." Yippee. "Now are you sure no church? I think it'd be best in a church. And don't forget the ring."

I said I still didn't want a church and that I'd bring the ring and hung up. "We have to go. Duty calls."

Ranger glanced at the clock. "Now?"

"I thought you loved waking up early."

"Not when I get close to no sleep. I got in at 3 am yesterday."

"Aww, poor baby." I cooed sarcastically. It was rare to get a chance to poke fun at Ranger about whining because he almost ever did. I suppose that if anything could make him though, it'd be my family.

He sent me a look and I wasn't sure if he was annoyed or amused. I was going with the latter. "I hope Tank isn't working surveillance."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want him to see me. He won't stop smiling at me. I swear I can't take a step into a room without my men smirking. They're getting a kick out of this. Being engaged is ruining my reputation."

"Too late, you can't bail out now. Besides, I thought you were going to pile a lot of work on them?"

"I tried. It doesn't work. They even have a poll going around about how long it'll take before you drive me away."

Although I knew that the poll was only a joke, it bothered me. I felt a bit hurt and offended. I mean, was I that bad? "No fair. How come you can't be the one to drive _me_ away?"

He grinned up at me and I knew what he was thinking because I was thinking it also: Ranger could never drive _anyone_ away. His charm was too outrageous. I rolled my eyes, started to get up and then paused. "You were only kidding right? About the real marriage?"

Ranger's eyebrows raised a little. "Would you accept if I wasn't?"

"I thought you weren't cut out for relationships."

"I thought you were off men."

I wanted to slap him. He never answered a question directly. He had to skirt around the subject, tease, and use my words against me. I gave up and decided that I was done with his mind games for today so I stomped into the bathroom. Before I closed the door, I called, "Oh yeah, you have to get an engraved ring before we head to my parents house."

It could have been my imagination but I was quite positive that I heard the man groan.

* * *

They're getting longer and longer. Pretty uneventful I know. More chapters, action, humor and Ranger soon, yum!

Review and let me know what you think.

-TBS.


	5. Chapter Four

I'm going insane with this story. It's addictive.

Enjoy;

* * *

**Chapter Four**

* * *

"Oh...it's just you." Grandma Mazur said flatly as soon as she opened the front door. Her hair was in tight, silvery curls and she was wearing tights and a tank top that was too tight and small to cover up the flab around her midsection.

I hung my head and sighed. Do you see how loved I am by my family?

"Where's Ranger?"

"He's getting the ring uh...'cause you know, he already had it but...well, he had to go get it from the jewelry...place." It was a wonder why these people believed my idiotic lies. She considered it and then moved out of the way to let me in. I peeked into the living room and waved to my dad. He grunted in reply. Another six pack case of beer was in his arms. Poor dad.

I walked into the kitchen, went straight to the cookie jar and selected chocolate chip. YUM. I had only eaten wheat bread, fruit and a toasted bagel at Rangeman and had to wash it down with skim milk. I almost considered eating one of Rex's hamster nuggets.

Ranger might be gorgeous but he was missing out on the good things in life. Like greasy, fat fried foods and sugar that gave you all kinds of diabetes. I tried to explain this to him but he only shook his head. I figured that our differentiating eating habits were only one downfall to our complicated relationship.

My mother was at the table, a calculator lying before her, magazines spread out again. I felt a pang of guilt in my heart again as I watched her diligently scrutinize the articles and then tap numbers on the device. She was probably spending all her money on this. Good grief, I was a horrible, horrible daughter.

"You know that Valerie's coming down in a few days?"

Oh that was just what I needed. Another person of my family to lie to. I forced a smile and struggled out, "Wonderful."

"I was thinking of ordering Iris flowers. I heard they're exotic and look, they're so beautiful. What do you think?"

I think I'd rather roll in horse shit than pick out flowers. I walked over, feigned interest and said, "Oh it does look pretty." Actually, it really did. It was all purple and shiny and nice and I didn't deserve it at all.

"We should arrange them at the entrance." She said. "Which brings me back to the object of _where_ we're having it." I noted that she used 'we' instead of 'you'. My mother sounded hysterical. I was starting to worry that she believed this was _her_ wedding.

"We could rent out a hotel." My Grandma said. "They already have the nice decor and Ranger and Stephanie won't even have to go anywhere after their honeymoon because the rooms will be a few steps away."

I heard my father exclaim something in the other room. It sounded like "Jesus Christ."

It was okay logic except for the obvious denominator: No one could afford to rent out a whole hotel. Was that even legal? My mother sighed and her eyes locked onto the liquor cabinet. Maybe she was giddy because she was tipsy.

Before anyone could form a sentence, the door bell rang and I rushed to answer it. It was Ranger in all his glory. My hero. He was dressed in his usual black of course; black short sleeved T-shirt, black cargo pants stuffed into black combat boots. I heard my Grandma shuffle behind me.

"Don't you ever wear anything besides black? It's a real nice color but I think I want to see you in red. Or even green. That'd be sexy."

I saw the twitch at Ranger's mouth. He was trying hard not to smile. We all walked into the kitchen and it took me a moment to realize that Ranger was holding something in his hands. My mother pointed it out first.

"Is that the ring!?" She asked, getting up from the table. I watched Grandma Mazur crowd him and I felt a little nervous at seeing it. I didn't really think he went out and got a ring pop but you never know when it comes to him. Unpredictable was the only word that could describe his personality.

Then I heard a collective gasp and I bit my lip. "Oh my goodness, that's almost the size of Mt. Rushmore!"

"I bet I could go skating on it."

Screw Mt. Rushmore. The diamond I saw when I peeked over their shoulders was the size of planet Earth itself. I couldn't stop myself from smiling and my eyes started to burn. It was so beautiful and huge and perfect and definitely expensive as hell. Way too glamorous for plain old me. Ranger met my eyes and I could see the smile in his eyes. I smiled back and mouthed 'Thank you.'

He let my mom and Grandma gawk at it a moment longer before he took my hand and slid it on. A strange sensation came over me and for some reason, I expected him to get down on one knee and propose for _real_. Holy shit, I think I _wanted_ him to.

"You didn't have to spend your life's fortune on it." I told him in a whisper. It was suppose to be a joke but my voice was shaky. I was touched.

He laid his arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer. "That's nothing. I was fortunate enough to get one at such short notice. The jeweler freaked. He said he couldn't engrave something in less than ten minutes."

"And?"

"I persuaded him."

I felt sorry for the guy. I knew from experience that Ranger had good persuasion skills. Scary, deadly skills albeit but good ones.

Then he was pulled away by the other two women and they shot questions at him about the flowers and what he thought about Iris ones. I took the moment to take the ring off and flip it to see the bottom.

In fancy cursive, the words: _My Babe_ were written. I grinned at it and laughed softly. Happiness washed over me and I turned to the man who looked about ready to shoot something, squeezed between my Grandma Mazur and mom. Something fluttered in my heart but I wasn't sure I wanted to acknowledge it so I just let myself be content. I didn't want to worry about tomorrow or later today. I wanted to spend time with my lunatic family and the man I was marrying. Even if I wasn't _really_ marrying him. Bittersweet, huh? Maybe I'd bring up that eloping again…..

I heard my mother ask, "By the way Ranger, what is your name? Your real name? It's not really Ranger is it? I don't think that'll look good on the invitations."

"It's Carlos."

"Carlos....?"

"Manoso. Ricardo Carlos Manoso."

"Well that doesn't sound very black at all." My Grandma Mazur whined. "You should change it to something more black. Like Virgil."

"I'm not black. I'm Cuban." He told her.

"I know but I like to pretend your black."

My mother made the sign of a cross and her arm reached out for the cabinet before she stopped herself and retracted it. Ranger sent me a look that I could only determine meant he needed help. I flounced over there and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"You know Stephanie," My mom started, leafing through more magazines. I saw that she had written down 'Irises' on a sheet of paper under 'Wedding plans'. "Now that you're marrying Carlos, you won't have to work anymore."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why not?"

"Because he's the man and the man handles the finances."

My Grandma Mazur snorted. "Aint no man ever do anything for me."

I couldn't agree with my Grandma. Lots of guys did things for me all the time. Especially Ranger. He offered cars, weapons, safety, and support. And besides the little fault of having to 'pay' him back, I was grateful for it.

I narrowed my eyes at my mom. I knew I was probably blowing things out of proportion but I didn't think that men should provide solely for their spouses. I mean, what if the guy lost his job? There should be equal effort from both. Yet, Ranger made enough money to provide for all of Trenton so I wasn't arguing for him. I was arguing for my own dignity. "Well mom, I don't want to quit my job. I love my job." I was lying but it didn't faze me a lot. It was almost second nature for me now. How honorable was that?

She blinked at me. "It's dangerous. What would happen if you blow up and Ranger is left with the kids?"

What the-? My eyes bugged out. When the hell did I say I wanted kids? I glanced at Ranger and saw his head was down but I could see his shoulders shaking. The bastard. He was laughing at my misery. "But-I don't want kids!"

"You should name one Peanut." My Grandma said, nodding her head knowingly. "It's a unique name and perfect. I can see her now. Little peanut running around in dark clothes with brown hair."

"Stephanie will not have a child named Peanut!" My mother made the sign of a cross and shook her head.

I stabbed Ranger in the side. "Did you tell them I was pregnant?" I whispered harshly in his ear.

He put palms up and his shoulders raised a fraction. The universal sign for; no way, I'm not in this. My eye was twitching. It had to be.

"While we're on the subject, where do you work Ranger?" My mom asked, tilting her head to the side. I was both annoyed and glad that she had forgotten his former job of being a 'bounty hunter'. Glad because she'd made a big fuss but annoyed because she always ragged on me and maybe that would have taken her mind off of my problems.

"I run a security company."

"What kinds of security?"

"Business security."

"Oh he's a businessman!" My mother praised while she looked towards the ceiling. I figured she was thanking the lord for such a wealthy, handsome son-in-law. Either that or she was relieved that he didn't sell drugs. I wanted to sigh again but held it back. It wasn't fair. I wanted my mom to flaunt about _my_ job. She was just lucky that Ranger hadn't told her exactly what he did and that he killed people. Or I guessed he killed people. He went to see people, they disappeared and then that was the last anyone saw of them. The good thing was that he only offed bad people.

"You wear suits? I like men in suits. Especially tight ones. I like them in leather too 'cause then you can see their package."

I watched my mom shake her head and this time she got up and opened the cabinet. I didn't blame her. Grandma Mazur was eyeing Ranger like he was a pineapple upside down cake. Hey that didn't sound so bad right now....

I felt a hand on my collar and then I was pulled down. Ranger said lowly into my ear, "If you don't get your Grandmother I might shoot her."

"She's just lonely. She hasn't been on a date in a while."

"That's all very lovely but I'd rather not be her next lay."

I smiled devilishly at him. "Oh ho ho, man 'o mystery isn't afraid of an old woman, is he?"

He turned to stare at my Grandma while she went on explaining about what she liked in a man's package from size to 'productively'. She was going into full detail with comments about shaving and all. My mom was taking another shot at her wine. I grimaced.

"She's well informed for an old lady." He said.

"She likes to be updated."

"I think your mother might be drunk."

I turned to look at the women and she was laid out on the floor, giggling. I felt my face burn. Jeez, they were embarrassing. My father walked in, paused, looked at us and then promptly turned on his heel and walked out, muttering about nightmares and old bats. I sighed.

"You know, I wouldn't be mad at you if you threw me out the window." I told him. "I might actually be grateful."

"Babe, I'm_ this_ close to jumping out of the window myself."

******

When I walked into the Bonds office, Lula was on me like icing on a cake. Oh hey cake sounded _really_ good right now...

"Holy _shit_!" Her curse came out as '_SH-ITEE'. _"Is that a ring or did you grow another finger?"

Connie rounded the desk to ogle it. "Oh wow. That's huge. That's serious cash right there. How much did that set him back?"

I had clue how much he had spent on it. I figured at least a bazillion dollars to a gazillion. So I shrugged and tried to play it off. "Not a lot. It's no big deal really. It's not even that big." Liar, liar. It was gigantic and much too noticeable.

"Bullshit." Lula put hands on hips. "That probably cost more than my apartment and car put together. That probably could pass off to be the moon."

The door swung open and we all turned to stare at Joyce Bardhardt. Ugh, _gag_. As I've stated before, Joyce is my arch enemy. She was a mean, bully when she had been a child and she was no different now. Her hair was long, big and fiery red. Her lips were pumped with so much silicone, they looked painful. Her body was altered to mold into a body no man could resist and her eyes were covered with ridiculously long eyelashes. She was in full bounty hunter mode; black tube top, tight leather pants and black boots. I knew instantly why she was here. Vinnie's re-enforcement.

"Oh great." I heard Connie mutter.

Joyce made a show of flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Oh what a surprise." She said sarcastically. Her eyes moved to me but when she opened her mouth, no words came out because her eyes were wide and locked onto my hand. "Holy cow, what's that?"

Lula smirked. "That's her ring. She's getting married to Ranger." I noted that Lula had taken it upon herself to explain that to everyone we met. That was fine with me. That meant I wasn't lying, right? I blew out a sigh. Oh who was I kidding? I had to stop justifying my actions and be a woman. I was a liar and a cheat and I was a terrible person.

Joyce wrinkled her nose in a frown. "What? _You're_ getting married? To _RANGER_? Why in the world would that hunk want to settle down for _you_? You aren't pregnant are you?"

I felt my hands clench but I had to loosen my left one because the band of the ring was digging into my skin. "You want me to shoot her?" Lula asked, reaching for her purse.

I considered it but then shook my head no. Joyce wasn't worth it.

"Hn. Well you know what this means don't you?" She bared her teeth in a smirk and I thought she resembled a vampire. "It's only a matter of time before he leaves you and comes to me; someone who can satisfy him."

I didn't know I was on Joyce until I heard her scream. My hands were yanking at her hair, her heels were digging into my thighs, my knee was stabbing her ribs, and her arms were clawing at my eyes. I felt someone pull me back and I stumbled to my feet, breathing heavily. Joyce was on the floor and her hair was a mess.

"You crazy bitch!" She screamed, getting to her feet. Her anger glazed eyes swept across us and then she took off out the door, yelling that this wasn't over.

"Wow. You really taught her a thing or two. I thought you were gonna pull all her hair out." Lula said. I smiled shakily. It was satisfying to beat her ass but it didn't take back what she said and the insecurity that came with it. Dickie had gone to her, she had flirted with Morelli multiple times before and although Ranger never gave her a second glance, I couldn't help but wonder if he ever thought about her. That thought sent my blood boiling. I hadn't been this jealous over Morelli, had I?

The door opened again and I thought she was back for more so I twirled around and narrowed my eyes.

My face paled and my heart froze when I realized I was staring down the barrel of a gun. A man in a mask was wearing it. Fear and panic clouded my mind.

"Oh shit." I heard Lula and Connie utter from behind me. Then we all ducked and the gun went off; firing crazily. I rolled away and covered my head and squeezed behind the desk with them. I could faintly hear Lula screaming above the gunfire. A lot of curses came from her mouth. Ones I hadn't even heard before. When it let up, we poked our heads out in time to see the guy flee.

"Fuck, what was that!?" Lula was hysterical. "He nearly blew our heads off."

Before anybody could respond, there was a loud _BANG_ and an explosion rocked the ground. We ducked again and then came back up a few beats later.

"What was that?" Connie asked. We cautiously crossed and peeked out the front door. My Sedan was in flames. They roared and licked around in a fireball and I could hear a siren in the background.

"You should be happy. At least now you don't have to ride around in it anymore."

But I wasn't happy. I was freaked. My teeth were chattering, my mind was a whirl of emotions I couldn't identify, my body felt cold. Had someone just tried to shoot me and then blew up my car?

"You look pale." Lula told me. "You should lay down."

I walked dazedly out onto the sidewalk and slumped down on the curb. I watched the whirling lights as the EMT's and police cars flooded into the lot. I vaguely remember seeing Joe get out of his car, flick his eyes towards me and then shake his head. I saw Vinnie arrive and he started to scream and freak out but Morelli calmed him. I faintly remember hearing Lula tell me that cops caused her acne to flare up before retreating back into the Bonds office.

Then suddenly, someone was sitting beside me. I turned and blinked through my dumbfounded, baffled, fearful haze to see Ranger. He didn't say anything. He just sat beside me and I guess he was waiting for me to calm down because I just now realized I was shivering. I glanced at Morelli and saw his jaw clench.

"Someone's trying to kill me."

Ranger glanced at me, his face unreadable. "What gives you that idea?"

We both turned to see the remains of my charred out car. "My car exploded."

"Your car always explodes. That doesn't mean someone put a hit out for you."

I stared at him and saw what he was doing. I noticed his tightened jaw, his fist balled forcefully into fists, his intense gaze. He was trying hard to keep his temper in check. He didn't want another maniac on my tail. "A man came into the office and shot at me and then my car exploded."

He looked like he wanted to sigh. "I'm surprised this stuff still bothers you."

Of course it bothered me! Someone wanted me dead. And I could tell it bothered him too. More than he felt like admitting. I sniffed. Why did all the terrible things happen to me? I couldn't even get sympathy points for being engaged. I looked to where Morelli had been but he wasn't there anymore.

"Babe, you promised you wouldn't cry."

I wiped at my eyes. I didn't know I was. "I need a donut."

"That stuff will kill you."

"If that doesn't than someone else will and I'd rather die eating something I loved."

He slid an arm around me, pulled me close and kissed me right above the ear. I liked his arms. They were strong and comforting and exhibited a protectiveness that didn't make me feel uncomfortable. "If you want, I can assign you your very own personal bodyguard."

I appreciated the offer but didn't know about that. Yes, I was still considerably scared but what if I _was_ just letting my imagination run wild? What if the masked man was just a regular burglar who happened to plant bombs in cars? "Do you think it's serious?"

"I would if it was happening to anyone besides you."

I could understand that considering that I was a danger magnet but still, just because this was almost a normal thing didn't mean I was indifferent to it. I don't think I'd ever get use to cars exploding and being shot at. "Can you at least _pretend_ to care?"

"I've learned that worrying over you does me no good. I just end up staying up all night, pulling my hair out or lashing out at someone. I've learned to hide my caring."

I tried to picture Ranger pulling his hair out over me. "Does it help?"

"Not one bit."

"Isn't this sweet." Said a sarcastic voice from behind us.

Ranger and I turned and I felt all the blood rush from my face. Morelli was staring down at us, arms folded. He didn't look especially angry but I knew Joe long enough to know that there was fury waiting to flood over. We got to our feet and I attempted to smile but it came out as a scared frown.

Morelli turned to me first. "Can't say I was surprised when I got the call. What happened this time?"

"I'm guessing my car exploded."

He gave me a look that told me he wasn't amused. His hair was ruffled, his jeans had rips in the knees and he looked like he drowned himself in beer last night. Not a pretty sight even if it was Morelli. Then he turned his malice gaze on Ranger and I felt the air shift. The tension was thick; I could have cut it and ate it. By the way, I'm pretty hungry......

I started to wring my hands. The two were having some sort of macho staring contest. I half expected them to pull out guns and get to firing. Morelli looked like he was considering it and Ranger looked like he wouldn't mind the confrontation.

And although I'd hate to break up this delightful show of testosterone, I slid in between them. If I didn't interfere, I worried there'd be bloodshed. "Have you caught the guy yet? He's wearing a mask with the eyes cut out." It was the only thing I could come up with.

My statement worked. The men broke gaze and glanced down at me. "He could be anywhere now. From-" Morelli stopped and I knew what he was looking at. I tried to be inconspicuous at putting my hand behind my back but it was too late. He had seen the ring. I thought he was going to began his Italian style yelling and lunge at Ranger but he didn't. Probably because another cop called him. He turned and didn't bother to excuse himself or say goodbye while he walked away from us.

I blew out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"He didn't look very happy."

I turned to give Ranger a look of incredulity and saw that he was smiling. "You were enjoying that weren't you? I bet you hoped he would make the first move."

Ranger slowly looked at me and his eyes narrowed a fraction and I knew I was right. "He started it. I was just going to finish it."

"Ugh, I hate men! All they want to do is have sex, fight and watch T.V."

"But not necessarily in that order."

I threw my hands up and groaned. "You're not going to stalk him out and stab him in his sleep are you?"

"Do you think I've done that before?"

I stared at him for a minute. "Not really."

One eyebrow raised slightly on his face. "I don't really have any feud with Morelli. There's no doubt in my mind that he has one with me however." Then he shrugged. "But I guess that's what happens when you steal a girl from another man."

I frowned. "You didn't steal me. We broke up."

"He doesn't seem to think so."

I thought about that. Wouldn't that mean he was borderline insane if Joe still believed we were an item? Or that we could _become_ an item again? Psh, who was I to judge? I was in a fake engagement. Who was more insane?

"I have to go. Would you like me to call one of my men and have them tag along with you?"

I pondered it and then replied with, "Yeah." Not only was I still frazzled, I kinda wanted someone with me if Morelli went searching for me. He was getting scarier by the day. I didn't want to tell Ranger about my dull fear because I didn't want him to worry. He was probably going to start scrambling to figure out who the unknown shooter was so I'd take his help without complaint. I guessed that he would have had someone tail after me whether I wanted it or not. The bonus would be having a nice, strong guy with me to catch skips.

*******

I could tell that Binkie was nervous. I couldn't blame him. The last time he was with me and Lula, he got stuck in a graveyard.

We were all packed into one of Rangeman's Trucks. Binkie was driving, Lula was in the passenger seat and I was stuck in the back which wasn't really a back but sort of like a small compartment. Lula had argued that she wouldn't have fit and although I knew it was true, I was pissed about being stuffed back here. It was smelly, hot and my leg was going to sleep. I had put the ring in my purse because I didn't want to lose it. And I was afraid it might reflect light and blind Binkie.

Lula was riding along because she didn't want to be around the police cars that still patrolled the Bonds office and that because I promised we'd get some food. And Binkie was Ranger's choice at a bodyguard.

We were going after Henry for the third time. I figured he would have to come back some day. We hit pay dirt because when Binkie knocked on the apartment door, Henry stuck his head out, muttered '_Fuck_' and then slammed the door in our faces. Binkie knocked the door down and me and Lula scrambled after him while he went in search for my FTA.

"This place is a mess." Lula said, wrinkling her nose at the apartment. "It smells like cheese in here. It looks like there's mice in here too. I hate mice. I better not see no mice."

I agreed. Mice were icky. Binkie stuck his head out of an open window at the back of the living room and then came back in. "He went out the window." That was all the Rangeman employee said before racing out of the door.

"Damn, I'm not up to running right now. I need a meatball sub. I'm meatball sub depraved."

Oh man, a meatball sub sounded tasty right about now....

I snapped from my food gaze when something rubbed up against me. I glanced down to see a black and white kitten meowing and nuzzling my ankle with its head.

"Where'd this cat come from?" I asked. "I didn't see it when we came in."

"Hn." Lula snorted. "You wouldn't expect a big man like Henry to have a cute little kitten."

Suddenly we heard a loud crash and we ran to poke our heads out the window. I saw Binkie wrestling with Henry and he looked to be losing. Henry pulled out something that glinted and my breath caught.

I screamed a warning, lost my footing and went head first out the window. Henry and Binkie looked up, their eyes bugged out and they tried to move but it was too late. I landed right on top of them and we all fell down in a heap. I groaned, rubbed at my head and waited for the stars before my eyes to vanish.

By then Binkie had already slid out from under me, beat and cuffed Henry. The men's shirts were both torn and dirty. There was a cut running down Binkie's forehead and I crumpled my face in embarrassment and concern.

He noticed my expression and smiled a reassuring smile. "No big deal it's just a small cut."

But I saw what he was really thinking. I knew that he'd go back to Rangeman and tell them; "_Bombshell Stephanie strikes again_!" I was hopeless.

Lula hustled over to us a beat later and took in the scene. "Are we done here yet? I need a bucket of chicken. I need donuts." It was amazing how she could change her craving in under a second. She looked at me and said, "You're lucky you didn't break open your skull. I was sure you would."

I didn't feel so lucky. I felt sore and achy and tired. And I was thinking that a bump to the head might have done some good. It might have knocked some sense into me because God knows I needed some.

*******

Binkie was dragging a knocked out Henry to the sleek Truck and when we arrived, we figured out our problem.

"He aint gonna fit." Lula stated the obvious.

I looked from the cuffed FTA, to the seats and then pointed to the carriage of the Truck. "What about there? He won't fall out will he?" Binkie was already throwing the man into the back though and he offered a shrug to my question. I took the response with a sigh and we piled into the Truck again.

We sat for a minute and then I finally asked, "What's the holdup?" Binkie and Lula were peering out the front windshield. I tried to do the same but I was too far back. "What!? What is it?"

"There's a cat behind the tire."

I blinked in confusion. "A cat?"

"Yeah, it looks like that kitten from Henry's apartment." Lula observed.

I pushed past them and got out. Sure enough, it was the same white and black kitten. It was meowing and looking adorable. I grabbed it gently and then set it away from the Truck. A minute later when I tried to get back in, I felt pain run up my leg. I glanced down to see the cat holding onto me as if its life depended on it. Its nails were digging in and blood was oozing out of my pants. I breathed in deep and pulled at the feline but it only held on tighter.

"What are you doing?" Lula inquired, poking her head out.

"This dumb cat won't let me go." Lula got out and grabbed the furry critter and started to pull. "OW! _Let go_! It's latched on to me tight. OW!" Binkie got out as well and we all tried to pull it off of me but its grip never wavered. I stared down at it wearily and it meowed.

"Looks like you got a new pet." Lula said.

Great. Exactly what I needed.

********

"I know you were in an emotional state when I left you but....was this really necessary?" Ranger asked while he took in the site of the kitten licking water out of a bowl in the kitchen.

After getting meatball subs, Binkie dropped Lula off, we dropped Henry off and then we went back to Rangeman. I heard the amused whispered when I grabbed a sandwich from the break room. The men apparently thought the cat clinging almost lifelessly to my ankle was _hilarious_. I didn't really know what kittens ate so I just got down a bowl and filled it with water. I'd have to look up the food thing later. I was changed into new jeans without holes and a cleaner, stretchy, white shirt from my suitcase (Yes, I still didn't want to hang up my clothes yet. Sue me.)

As soon as Ranger came in, he took one look at the kitten and gave a shake of his head. I wondered if he was thinking about throwing me out the window.

"It followed me." I explained. "Then it grabbed onto my leg and wouldn't let go."

We both looked to see that it was growling and swiping at the counter where Rex's hamster cage was. Rex retreated back into his small fortress. The cat was at least two feet too short to reach.

"I don't think they're getting along." He said.

"They just have to get use to each other. Reese doesn't look like she'll hurt him."

He turned to give me a look and I know he was trying hard not to laugh. "Reese?"

"It's your fault! I'm chocolate depraved so I named it that because it reminded me of it! You have nothing here but wheat bread and sandwiches without bacon!" I was starting to sound like Lula. Scary. But how was one person expected to live without candy? I was getting shot at, losing my vehicles and marrying Batman. Come on, I _deserved_ chocolate.

Ranger gave me an almost smile. "Babe."

I blew out a puff of air and watched the kitten stretch out lazily. "You aren't mad that I adopted a cat?"

"I figure that if you have a cat, you won't want children."

I blinked in confusion. "Are you implying that I'm having some sort of parental urge?"

"Aren't you?"

NO! What was up with everyone associating me with children today? Of course I didn't want kids! Didn't I? "So, what? You're not father material either?"

Ranger tilted his head to the side just a tad and I thought he looked cute like that. I almost laughed. 'Cute' didn't go with Ranger. It was way too mild. Try mind-blowing sexy. "What do you think?" He asked me.

I didn't know what to think. I couldn't picture Ranger being a dad. I couldn't picture him in colorful sweatshirts, feeding a baby in a high chair while making airplane noises. I couldn't see him driving a minivan to go 'back to school' shopping or driving to Disney Land. I wondered if he would be strict. If he'd plant bugs on the kids, demand that his daughter couldn't date and gave out punishments that involved dangling off of building ledges.

No Ranger wasn't a family man. He did have a daughter however. A smart, little girl named Julie that lived in Miami with her mother and stepfather. I met her a couple months ago when a Ranger imposter kidnapped her to get to him. Those had been some scary days. I hadn't really thought about it until now but I wondered what kind of relationship he had with his ex-wife, Rachel. Yes, that's right; Ranger was married once in his life as well. For about ten minutes. The arrangement was made simply because he had been a man and taken on his responsibilities of impregnating a girl and wanted to help support Julie. He sent money to them every month. Another testament to his unbelievable, never ending, magical amount of money.

Yet the scariest thing must have been that Ranger's attitude didn't stop me from imagining how he'd be if he became domesticated.

And Lord help me, I was tempted to try and reform him.

My cell phone rang and I answered it. My mom. "Stephanie dear, are you coming to dinner tonight?" There was one tradition in the burg: Dinner was served at six o'clock sharp. I hadn't eaten there in a few days and was yearning for some pot roast. "You can bring Ranger if you'd like." That'd go well. "Marie Kawetsi said someone blew up your car, is that so? The phone's been ringing all the hook. How come you get blown up but Lisa Retzelli's daughter never does. She's in resources. She doesn't deal with explosions."

I said I'd come, hung up and gave Ranger the news. He looked like he wanted to smash something so I scooted the cat away a tinge. "The last time we were there, your mother passed out."

"Normal day to me."

It might have been a trick of the light but I think Ranger rolled his eyes and I knew he was caving. "If I go, you owe me."

That didn't sound so bad. There was still the matter of '_compensation_' for the engagement issue. Whatever he was planning probably wouldn't be too bad compared to that. "Uh....so, what would I owe you? A round of beer."

"I was thinking more along the lines of my bed with us naked in it."

Talk about a hot flash. His eyes were on me and they were heavy and sensual. His gaze was hypnotic and I feared that all he had to do was tell me and I'd bed in his bed in second. I licked my lips. "Uh...could we go with something else?" I said with no conviction.

"Babe."

Before I knew it, I was flat up against him and his lips were on mines. _Hmm, yum_. This was definitely better than cake. My hands ran through his silky waves and I felt his hands settle on my waist. He begun to expand his touch but we heard a noise and broke apart to see Ella.

She was blushing and looking down. The embarrassment on her face was palpable. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were......I have fresh sheets." She placed them on the table and hurried out. I felt sorry for her. I knew how it felt to be embarrassed. Story of my life.

Ranger stepped back from me and I nearly grabbed him and pulled him back. He leaned on the counter and plucked some fruit from the basket."I checked in with the police and they haven't found your masked murdered yet. Did you have any trouble today?"

I shook my head and tried to cover up the disappointment that I was feeling. How could he act one way and then change so quickly? I wished I could learn that skill. It'd help be out with these devastating relationships I always seemed to be apart of. I tried to read his expression, tried to figure out if Ella interrupting had turned him off _or_ made him come to the realization that he was being foolish. But his face was emotionless. I wanted to snap his neck. He played mind games like no other.

"Nope." I replied, trying to keep my voice calm. "Not with the masked guy anyway. I fell on top of Binkie though."

The corner of his mouth went up in a smirk. "How is he?"

"He's breathing."

"I'll hear about this. He'll blame me and say my fiancé is crazy."

"He seemed perfectly okay about it."

Then a smell wafted through the air and burned the inside of my nose. I put a hand over the lower half of my face and gagged. "What's that smell!?"

Ranger was staring at Reese who had just...uh...taken a number _two_. He shook his head and then walked out.

"Hey!" I shrieked, right on his heels. "You can't leave me with that mess to clean up! HEY! HEY! So help me Ranger, I will bleach all your clothes pink. RANGER!"

* * *

I know what you're thinking:_ Ranger, you idiot, why did you stop!?_ Haha. More soon, I promise. Hope you all like. Leave me a review and let me know what you think!

-TBS.


	6. Chapter Five

:D?

Enjoy;

* * *

**Chapter Five**

* * *

"He's not as bad as you think he is, ya know? I mean sure, he's kinda quiet but he's not completely silent. Maybe his idea of humor is a little off and he doesn't eat anything with a face on it. But come on, everyone has their little quirks. The thing that matters most is how he makes me feel, right?

I know he cares about my well being, I can tell him almost anything, his eyes are like mirrors into what he really feels, sometimes his quiet nature is enchanting and he's incredibly hot. And, I must add, he _tolerates_ my family! How crazy is that? I mean Morelli did too but that's another story. I'm not sure if it's fair to compare the two guys. They're alike in so many ways but completely different in others. It's like trying to compare cake to cookies. Some days I prefer a nice, relaxing, chewy, uncomplicated cookie and other times; I'd like to dig into the cake's layers and find out just how sweet it is."

I looked down at my unresponsive listener who happened to be licking itself at the moment.

"Maybe I'm thinking too hard? Maybe I just need to dive in that water and go for it. I've been a coward all my life, you see so I never did what I wanted. I'm tired of being afraid. I think I might actually go for it. I think I might actually try and start a real relationship with _my_ Batman........the thing is, he doesn't seem like _he_ wants a real relationship. Sure, he's helping me lie to my family and friends because I'm a crazy person who gets herself into drastic situations that could be avoided if I just learned to shut my mouth but I'm worried that he's helping for all the wrong reasons. And what would that make him? A jackass? A sex addict? A_ man_?"

Reese opened her mouth and let out an inaudible yawn.

"By the way," I said, crouching down to wipe up the last drops of '_debris_' the cat had squirted out. "You're not making a very good impression on him. Crapping on his floor won't make him love you, ya know. Hacking up a fur bar won't either for that matter." I threw the soiled towels in the trash and took off the yellow gloves I had donned.

Reese looked up at me with green, innocent eyes and I sighed. I was losing my marbles. I was asking for love advice from a cat.

I heard footsteps and turned to see Ranger walk into the kitchen. He took one look at Reese and said, "I'm not sure if that thing is going to be able to stay."

I paled. "Why not?"

"It shit on my floor."

"I cleaned it up you big baby." I picked up Reese and held her up so our faces were adjacent. I made big, pleading eyes and Reese caught on and did the same. She even managed to get out an adorable 'Meow'. "You can't throw this out can you?"

Ranger glanced down at his feet and I saw his mouth move faintly. Was he counting? Until what? Until he shot us? "Doesn't it belong to someone?"

"I'm pretty sure its owner is in jail. I don't think he'll miss it." I sat Reese down and she curled up into a ball. "Just give her another chance. I promise she won't crap anymore."

His eyebrows rose slightly.

"Well, I promise she won't crap on the floor anymore. We can buy a kitty litter."

"You're starting to sound like Tank. When did we become pet owners?"

"If I can take care of a hamster than I can take care of a cat."

"Babe, those are two completely different animals. You can't compare them. A hamster is satisfied with running on a wheel and eating nuggets. Cats want the world. They want food, comfort, company, love, baths, shots. Did I mention food?"

"What? Are you too much of a cheapskate to dish out a few dollars for her?" I knew my question was uncalled for. I mean, Ranger already dishes out half a million for me from the blown up cars, guns, clothes. I was being ungrateful I know but I really wanted to keep Reese. She had grown on me in under twenty minutes. And that was a big deal considering that half of those minutes involved me wiping her mess off the floor.

He shook his head again. I hope I wasn't giving him a headache. I hope he didn't kick me out. "Who's going to watch it when we're not here?"

"She can watch herself."

"If she chews up my couch I'll shoot her."

I smiled because I knew he had relented. I could keep her! Yay! "You wouldn't shoot a thing that cute would you?"

He gave me a full on smile and I gulped. I had the strangest thought that his smile was a yes and that we weren't just speaking about Reese anymore.

**************

The first thing I noticed when I walked into my parent's kitchen was the strange lady sitting at the table across from my Grandma Mazur. The second thing I noticed was that the stacks of bridal magazines had been placed on the floor. I exchanged a look with Ranger and then turned to my mom who was finishing up with dinner. It smelled oh so fantastic and delicious. I hope my mouth didn't water in front of Ranger. How embarrassing would that be?

"Stephanie!" My mom exclaimed, walking over to hug me. I blinked in surprise. Her step was a little swayed. I glanced at my Grandma.

"She got into the wine cabinet again." The old woman told me.

"Carlos!" My mom wobbled over to him and gave him a hug too. It looked weird because her arms barely reached across his chest. I saw his mouth twitch. Ranger smile. She stumbled backwards to give us both a glance over. She grabbed my hand to examine the ring, dropped my hand and then danced back over to the stove. "Isn't it just a wonderful day!?"

"How much did she drink?" I asked.

"The cabinet's empty." My Grandma replied. I sighed. What the hell had gotten her so worked up to drink that much?

The random lady I didn't know finally spoke up. "You must be Ricardo and Stephanie." She smiled patronizingly. "Hello, I'm Doctor Karen Yule. I'm a psychic."

I blinked and the realization hit me: Karen was the reason for my mother's blatant drinking. I turned to stare at my Grandma again and she said, "I called her. To see if you two are compatible. Thought it'd be a pip." She gave Ranger a once over and I wondered if the old lady hoped we weren't so she could take a stab at him.

I grabbed Ranger's hand when I saw him step back and pulled him forward, forcing a smile. "If you leave now, I'll throw out all your shower gel." I strained in a whisper.

He looked to be considering his options. His mouth twitched. "This is going to be ugly."

"Why do you think that?"

"Psychics don't like me. They say I have a bad aura."

I could see why they thought that. Everything about Ranger screamed _bad_. From his dark locks to his combat boots. I tugged the man over and we took a seat across from Karen and Grandma Mazur. I could hear my mom giggling to herself as she worked with the food. I didn't think a drunken person should be in charge of cooking so I sent my Grandma over to help her. The old woman looked disappointed but trudged over there anyway.

That left Ranger and I with Karen. Up close the woman looked about forty years old. Her skin was a bit wrinkled, her hair was long and thin, she was wearing dark glasses and some sort of shawl. At first glance, she looked like a fatter version of Marcia Brady.

I stifled a sigh when she began laying out cards on the table. I didn't believe in psychics. I didn't like the idea of someone telling me who was better for me. I mean, seriously, I could barely determine that so there was no way I'd trust a total stranger. But I figured if I humored her, she'd go away faster, my Grandma would be satisfied and my mom would quick taking shots. She must have done something to get my mom worked up and I didn't feel like going through whatever that was.

"Ohhh." Karen closed her eyes and leaned her head back. I saw Ranger shake his head. He obviously thought this was bullshit too. She snapped them back open and pointed at him with a grim expression. "You are not as dark as you like others to think. You pretend to be because you like how it makes you feel. You try very hard to keep up the indifferent facade. To make sure that no one knows how much things really bother you. You've learned that emotions only cause you pain and so they have no use in your life. But you like the idea of others considering you as the strong one. They see you as a protector, as the rock they need. Some might even think of you as a superhero."

Wow. That was....weird and sounded fairly accurate. Was that really true? I turned my baffled eyes on Ranger but he was silent and expressionless.

"And you," She turned to look at me and I gulped. Oh jeez. "You...you are complicated. Very complicated. You try very hard to do what you think is right but always end up with the short end of the stick. The reasons you have for doing things are pure but the way you go about doing them are wrong. Fret not however, your time will come. There will be a very happy ending. You just have to believe in yourself. You are not as cowardly and unworthy as you think you are."

Karen closed her eyes, swept her hands up and then let them fall back down. "This relationship I sense between the two of you.....it is very....intense. Very hard to put into words. While you both want separate things there is one common factor: your love will never waver." She flung her hands towards me. "You worry about being hurt. About being turned down. You worry and so you blame other issues for why you do the things you do. Yet you refuse to see the obvious answer right in front of you." Her other hand flung to motion towards Ranger. "And you...you worry about the complications. The danger lurking in the shadows. Your past. You worry about not being accepted yet you do not seem to understand that you're already perceived and permanent."

I watched Karen open her eyes, retract her hands and start to collect her cards. I was far beyond dumbfounded. I was close to mind boggled. I really, really hadn't expected to hear that. I expected some mumbo jumbo, a few calm statements that could have been applied to anyone and then that'd be it. But this lady...this lady was freaky.

And the thing that scared me the most was that part of my brain believed every word she uttered.

"DINNER'S READY!" Shrieked my mother in a hysterically shrill voice. I broke from my daze and watched as my Grandma Mazur struggled a wine glass away from her. For the first time in my life, I wasn't hungry. I felt sick and disoriented. I wanted to lie down.

"Babe." Ranger was in my ear. "You're shaking."

Was I? I looked down at my hands and realized they _were_ trembling. What was wrong with me? I was freaking out over some psychic's words? For what? Who cared what she thought? So what if she...kinda maybe sorta hit us right on the mark? Who carried if she...kinda maybe struck gold with the 'being hurt' remark? I could see why my mom had gone to her liquor cabinet. That lady could shake you up without even knowing it.

Ranger wasn't nearly as emotional as me over it. Actually, he wasn't anything. He had the most placid look on his face. _Oh God, she was right! He tried to cover up his emotions!_

Stephanie damn it, calm down. I took a deep breath. He didn't try to do _anything_. He was just naturally withdrawn, okay? It was a good enough thought to get me off the subject for the time being. There was a crash and we all turned to see pieces of a plate on the floor surrounded by bits of food. My mom was laughing and rolling around on the floor in front of it.

Grandma Mazur shook her head. "She's wasted."

My father walked in, paused, looked around and walked out. He hadn't bothered to mutter this time.

"Shoot me." I pleaded, grabbing Ranger's collar.

He grinned down at me. "No way. We have too much unfinished business."

Lucky me.

*********

I always liked the night. The sky was dark and comforting, streetlights shone soft lights, crickets chirped. Okay maybe crickets weren't that cool but the other stuff was. I watched Trenton nightlife through Ranger's tinted windows. I watched cars pass by, shops close for the day, people retire to their homes. The city was turning in.

I turned to Ranger who had his eyes on the road and his hands on the steering wheel. He hadn't said much after the fiasco (disaster!) at my parent's house. He hadn't said much after we left either or now that we were driving back home. Er...I mean back to Rangeman. But that was normal. He never was one for small talk.

That had to change. "Was she right?" My voice sounded like it was invading the peaceful, quiet sanctity of the vehicle.

He looked sideways at me. "Who?"

"That psychic. Karen."

His dark eyes focused back on the road. "About what?"

"About everything." I leaned my head back, relaxing even more into the comfortable seats. "Do you really try and hide your feelings?"

Ranger's grip tightened on the wheel. "What do you think?"

I frowned. "Would you stop doing that? Can I get a straight answer from you once in while?" He didn't respond and I groaned. "Honestly, I don't see harm in you opening up more."

"Who says I don't open up?"

"Okay." I turned in my seat to face him. "Answer me this then: Would you really marry me?" I tried to see his face through the dark of the car but it was hard. He looked angry but I wasn't sure. "What? Does it take you that long to think about it?"

"I'm weighing my options."

"What?"

"I'm trying to decide if you're worth spending time with your family."

I squinted at him. He was smiling. "This isn't funny. I'm serious!"

"I am too."

I folded my arms under my chest and glared out the window. I hated men. I wish all of them would just disappear for a month or so. Then I wouldn't have been so frustrated and flustered and confused and sad.

"Do you still love Morelli?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to stare open mouthed at the man. His face was calm as always but I could see his finger was tapping restlessly against the wheel. WHOA, was he nervous about my answer? I opened my mouth but no words came out. Probably because I didn't know what to say.

"When you can answer that question honestly then I'll answer yours."

I let my head fall wearily back onto the cushioned chair and fiddled with my ring. The rest of the car ride was filled with silence.

************

When I woke up it was four twenty. I knew that because the clock beside the bed was glaring that number at me. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. I turned to feel beside me but no one was there.

As soon as we arrived back from my parents house last night, Tank had pulled Ranger aside, they had spoken for a bit and than he told me he had to go and that he should be back yesterday morning which was now; this morning. I was both angry and glad to have the sheets to myself. Angry because I was thinking way too much alone and that maybe Ranger could have gotten my mind off of my scattered thoughts but glad because I was guessing his idea of distracting me would have ended with both of us naked.

I guess if you thought about it, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I mean, there was nothing that could hold us back. There were no boyfriends, murderers or girlfriends, for that matter. I often wondered if Ranger ever had a girlfriend. That thought came to my mind the very first time I stayed here at Rangeman. It quickly fizzled out though because Ranger himself had told me that the men and Ella weren't used to women staying the night. Yet that didn't cover women staying and then leaving before the sun came up, did it?

I reached out to pet a sleeping Reese and sighed. She was curled into a small ball on Ranger's side. Don't worry; I hadn't given the feline false hope. I told her that if Batman caught her, she'd be thrown out the window. She received the information with a yawn and a meow. She wasn't really intimidated by him. Huh, I wish I wasn't afraid of him either.

I thought about my two weeks with Ranger and the remaining and the last eleven days I had left. So far I hadn't made up a good enough lie that'll get us both out of the wedding. Great. But I had time right? I mean, if I hit the two week mark and still hadn't dredge up an excuse that didn't mean we'd have to get married, did it? It took longer than that to plan a wedding right? Damn it, I needed to remind myself to ask my mom how long it did take.

I wondered if Ranger would simply quit after the two weeks. I mean if he fessed up than I wouldn't have to. Yeah! That sounded good. He could stop it.

I sighed. There was Stephanie Plum again. The cowardly lion. Except I was more of a mongoose than a lion. The cowardly mongoose who dumped all her problems on others and dragged them down with her. Hopeless, I was hopeless!

I rolled onto my back and stared into the night of the room. Ranger's room. Ranger's sheets. Ranger's bed. Ranger's home. The psychic's words were still repeating in my mind, Rangers's statement was repeating in my mind, my own thoughts were flashing through my mind. They were all driving me insane. They were making me re-evaluate everything. They had caused me to list pros and cons of the two men in my life. They had caused me to think about my future with Ranger _if_ I had one. And my future with Joe _if_ I went back to him.

The sad, frustrating thing was that all my thinking had gotten me nowhere but back to where I started: _CONFUSED_.

"My life sucks."

Reese didn't respond. I could faintly see her small body moving up and down softly with her breathing. I suddenly wished I could be a cat. They didn't have to worry about much but eating, pooping and licking themselves.

***********

"You don't look so good."

I blinked slowly and gave Lula a look. She didn't look so good either. Probably because her red, leather tube top and tight, red jeans were three sizes too small and her bleached blond hair was mussed with hair spray. But hey, I wasn't one to judge. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning. YIKES. My eyes were bagged with no sleep, my hair was a mess and I couldn't snap my jeans. I found that unfair because I had lived with 'body as a temple' man for a good four days. I suppose that hadn't stopped me from sneaking in donuts, subs, cookies, cakes and other prized foods when I went out.

I took a seat on the slightly bullet pummeled couch and closed my eyes. My car was gone from the lot, the police had cleared out and nothing was left as a reminder of the incident besides the door that was a bit off its hinges and the couch. Vinnie had made a big fuss about the damages and apparently, his complaints worked because new furniture was being delivered.

Lula tsk tsk tsked at my expression. "You look like death. This isn't about that masked man is it? He could have wanted to shoot anyone. But I guess if he had to choose, it would be you."

I gave her a look of disbelief. "Why me!?"

"'Cause you got that soft look. And you're small and bony. He probably thought he could take you out first and then come after me and Connie."

"Then what?"

"He probably would have went to look for money."

I suppose that could have been one angle. But then again, why would he rob a bonds office for money? It wasn't like we carried money around like a bank.

"I don't know. He didn't look like he needed money." Connie spoke up. "Did you see his shoes? They were freshly bought. They even had the tag on it."

I hadn't noticed that but was glad someone did. I wasn't sure how that would have helped me uncover him but I stored it in the back of my brain.

"Maybe you aren't looking good because you're still nervous." Lula wouldn't let up. "Or Ranger did something to make you mad. Or Ranger _didn't_ do something to make you mad."

Her implications were grossly transparent. I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't mad at Ranger. Or at least, not by a lot. I was a little peeved about the fact that he still wasn't around both times I woke up and I guess I was still a bit mad about the car ride conversation and maybe I was annoyed by his sudden lack of concern. But that didn't mean I was mad at him.

"Drop it."

"Oh someone's cranky. Pre-wedding jitters strike again."

I groaned. The door to the Bonds office creaked open and in stepped Morelli. I groaned again. I was so far beyond exhausted with people I could barely feign interest in anyone anymore. My life was a whirlwind of crap and lies. I wasn't in a good enough mood to deal with Joe right now.

He was freshly shaved, in ripped jeans, a white T-shirt and his hair was cut. Hm. He didn't look so bad....

"Did Ranger loan you the black Camry?" He asked, eyebrow raised, eyes on me. He didn't look mad today. He looked pretty mellow. That was a good sign right?

"Uh...yeah." It was true more or less. Actually, Lester gave me the keys to it but it was Ranger's and I was pretty sure that bugs were planted all over it and that orders back at the Batcave was to keep an eye on me tenfold.

Morelli made a little shrug motion like he had known all along. He turned to Connie. "How's Vinnie? He whined to the station all night yesterday."

"He's in his office, praising himself for having insurance on the place and probably playing with his ducks."

Joe smiled. It was a soft, genuine smile and I was a bit jealous that he wasn't as miserable as me. His brown eyes locked back on me. "Could I talk to you outside?"

Oh great. I said sure and followed him out the door. We stood outside in the lot and I waited for his Italian yelling once again. He didn't say anything for a few moments. "You didn't happen to piss off anyone recently, have you?"

I blinked because that wasn't what I expected him to ask. I mulled over the question. "I don't think so...why?"

"Cupcake, someone blew up your car."

Ahh, so he thought it was a deliberate attack too! I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Lula thinks it was just a regular robber after money."

"At the Bonds office? What did he expect to find? Files and a couch?"

See?! I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that!

He sighed and rocked back on his heels. "I'm hoping she's right though. It'd make me worry less." Joe glanced down at my hand. "That's a pretty big ring."

He looked like he wanted to say; "_Ranger is a jackass and I'm going to gut him, slice off his head and mount it above my bed_."

I smiled. "Isn't it? Pretty huh?" I held it up for him to see and saw his eye twitch. Morelli was trying to keep his cool. HAH! That'll teach him to be happy!

I instantly felt bad. I shouldn't be trying to irritate the man. I should be happy he was happy and that he wasn't as angry anymore. But nooo, I had to provoke him because my life was in the crapper. I know it's already been said before but I'm a terrible, terrible young lady.

"How much did it cost?"

"I don't know but my estimate is around a gazillion dollars." It was true. I hadn't even asked Ranger the price because I worried that it'd make me feel even worst. I didn't deserve this ring. Shit, I didn't even deserve the chance to pretend that I was marrying Ranger.

"How did he take the whole masked man incident?"

"Oh you know. Planted bugs, gave me a bodyguard, the usual."

Morelli glanced towards the Camry and I saw his eyes widen. "I didn't see him when I came in."

He was talking about Lester who was sitting in the driver's side. I pictured the big man waving when Joe glanced at him and had to cover up a smile. "Really? He's fairly hard to miss."

Joe looked at me and I saw the corners of his mouth lift up. Holy crap, was he smiling? Was he amused? Were we actually talking without arguing? This was a miracle! Then his grin dropped and the good natured atmosphere was washed away. "I could be a better bodyguard."

"Thanks for the offer but...I'm not sure Ranger would like that."

He frowned. "I don't care what he thinks and you shouldn't either."

"Joe, we're engaged."

"And? You think a ring and a word is going to stop me from getting what I want?"

I took a step back because his eyes were a bit wild. I saw Lester lean forward in the car and his eyes were narrowed. "What exactly is it you want, Morelli?"

His furious eyes clouded over with an almost sad look and he replied quietly, "You."

Damn it to hell. I stared at him with a pained expression. I had no idea what to say to that.

"Stephanie, look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll walk away."

_What_? I bit my lip, glanced around and opened my mouth. I mean, really if I wanted Joe back, I don't think I would have let anything hold me back either but the thing was....I didn't. I didn't want him back and it surprised even me when I realized that. I stared at the man with his gorgeous face, loving look, well toned body and I didn't want him anymore.

So how come my throat was dry and no words were coming out?

Joe took my silence as a 'yes' apparently because he smiled. "See?" Then he simply walked away, got into his car and drove away.

I blinked in confusion. What just happened here? I heard a faint car horn being blown and turned to see Lester with his hands up and eyebrows rose as if to say; _what was that all about_?

I shrugged and raised my hands as well to say; _I have no clue_.

***********

"What...who is this? Oh lord Stephanie, don't tell me you dumped Ranger to engage this guy."

I watched my mother make the sign of a cross as she took in the site of Lester. I hung my head. "No! I called but no one answered. I just stopped by to see what's happening." Yeah and because I needed to try and deter my mother and her plans as much as possible. I dragged Lester in because I had a major headache, Ranger was no where to be found and I didn't think I could handle my family right now.

I heard my father mutter "Good grief." in the living room. I stuck my head in there, waved and caught sight of Valarie and grimaced. Damn, she got here pretty fast didn't she? She was holding a baby that looked to be at least two years old, two more kids crowded around the T.V and a pudgy man sat next to her.

Valerie was two years older than me and she was my sister. We were completely opposites of each other. In school, Valerie got straight A's, always looked pretty and primped and made my parents proud. I, on the other hand, never got above a C, dressed in whatever I could find and made my parents regret the decision of not getting vasectomies and tubes tied. That was the reason I was a bit happy when Valerie came home a few months ago to move in with my parents because her husband had ran away with the nanny. I know it was a horrible thing to find elation in but I couldn't help it. For the first time in my life, I was doing better than my sister.

Or I had been. Valerie was married again. To a short, fat clumsy man named Albert Kloughn. She had birthed a child of his; the baby and already had two children. One was Angie; the conservative, want-to- be president. I figured she was at least ten or eleven now. The other was Mary Alice; the younger sister who had wanted to be a horse. I'm not sure if she still did.

Valerie's life had straightened out considerably and mines was still sucky.

She spotted me and than waved excitedly. "Congratulations Steph!"

I waved back weakly and ducked back into the kitchen. I looked on in shock when I noticed that Lester wasn't standing beside me anymore. He was sitting at the table with Grandma Mazur in his lap. He looked like he wanted to shoot himself.

"He's a naughty boy." Grandma told me when she saw the look I gave her. Lester grimaced and my heart went out to him. Poor guy. I pulled her off of him and he scooted his chair away.

"Mom, I have to go in a few. I just wanted to know how long it'll be for the planning."

My mom, who was engrossed in a magazine, replied absently, "Not too much longer."

Yikes. I ran a hand down my face. "So..what? Two or three...years?"

"I should be done within a few more days."

Oh shit. "But...but we don't even know where we're having it!"

"We decided that it'd be here at the house." She glanced up to give me a weird look. "Remember?"

I most certainly did not remember. "Are you sure..? I mean...will everyone fit?"

"Sure! We can have it out on the lawn. But I need to know who you all would like to invite. Of course, your family will be invited and Ricardo's family but-"

"Ranger's family!?" I hadn't thought twice of his family. I felt sweat bead on my forehead, felt panic tighten my chest. Ranger couldn't invite his family! I didn't want to have to lie to two mothers. "Mom, I don't think...." What the hell could I say? Mom, I don't think Ranger wants to invite his mother and family to his _wedding_?!

Lester was giving me a look that said he wanted to smile and I kicked him. He closed his eyes but said nothing. In his mind, this whole thing was real and he'd look forward to it. I wondered if Ranger would invite the Rangeman crew. Wouldn't that be weird? Giant men with tattoos and scars in suits? Haha, I could see Tank now...

My eyes widened. NO! There'd be no inviting anyone because it wasn't really going to happen! The next words I blurted out were beyond irrational and stupid. I think I needed a new word to explain just how fucking idiotic my mouth could make me sound. "Ranger's mom is Jewish!"

There was a silence I didn't like and all eyes were on me. "Really?"

Grandma Mazur tsked. "So, what? She scarifies lambs?"

I ignored that crazed question mostly because I didn't know what the hell Jewish people did and I wasn't entirely confident that they _didn't_ sacrifice lambs. "Yeah so...I don't think she'll want to come. Uh...she doesn't approve of our...marriage?" Had I just lied about a woman I didn't even know!?

My mom stared for a beat before sighing. "Such a shame."

Holy fuck, they believed me. I almost whispered a prayer to God but thought better. I was sure He didn't want to hear from me after all the lies I made and the ones I was still making and the ones sure to come. God was frowning down on me, I knew. God had already made his decision. He didn't associate with people who sinned. Hell was where I'd end up. Or at least, Hell was where I was heading if I didn't stop this charade and come clean.

******

Lester rolled the Camry to a stop in a parking space right in front of the building. I was jealous at his good fortune. I never got a good parking space. We were at the supermarket. I was going to buy a kitty litter, cat food, hamster nuggets and try to smuggle in sweets. I opened my door, got out and then waited for him.

Two minutes later, I stomped over to his side and he rolled the window down. "You coming?"

"I'll stay here and watch the car."

Men. They could fight killers, get shot, roll around in dirt but they feared supermarkets and malls. I gave him a tired look and trekked off. By the time I got in line, my cart was filled to the max. I had food for the animals, the kitty litter, some grooming products I happened to past by and lots and lots of food. I'm talking Kitkats, Reese cups, Almond Joys, gummy worms, a pre-made cake, Hersheys, marshmallows, M&M's, skittles, cookies, muffins, Frosted Flakes, Oreos, beer, Pop Tarts, pie, peanuts, popcorn, peanut butter, olives, Fritos, Cheetos, fudge, jelly beans, real white bread, doughnuts, Pepsi and I was mulling over ordering a pizza. The great thing was that I had enough money for it all. Thank the heavens for those two FTA's I took in.

The cashier gave me a wide eyed look and I knew what she was thinking: A heart attack waiting to happen. I couldn't care less. She obviously didn't know how it felt to be deprived of these gracious substances for a total of four days.

"Stephanie Plum!?"

Oh no. I turned to see a woman giving me a surprised look. I couldn't pinpoint what her exact name was but I knew she was friends with my mother. The woman gave my cart a shocked look but quickly forced a smile and said, "Oh sweetie, you shouldn't eat so much sugar. It'll go straight to your thighs and you won't be able to fit into your wedding dress. Oh nice ring! Wow!"

I felt my eye twitch. Before I could say anything, something whizzed past my ear. I stayed stoic for a minute and then pandemonium broke out. There was screaming, stomping, running, ducking. I heard the unmistakable _CRACK_ of a gun being fired and rolled behind my cart. More bullets flew by and I could see through the holes in my cart that the person holding the gun was a man with a mask over his face.

A tag was dangling off of his shoe. It was the man from the Bonds office. I felt my stomach lurch and held a hand to my mouth. The gunshots stopped and then the man ran out, pushing past hysterical people. A beat later, Lester came running in. _My hero_.

"I tried to get through but there was a giant crowd outside." He told me, peeking over my cart. "You alright?"

No, I wasn't alright! A man I didn't know was trying to kill me! I bit my lip to keep it from trembling but the rest of my body started. My vision was suddenly altered by some sort of haze and I realized I was crying. Great.

In the background, I could hear the sirens blaring through the air.

* * *

^_^ haha. I threw in the psychic, did you notice what she said? Keep it in mind? ;P

**PS:** No offense to any Jewish people out there.

[Will be updated soon] [More Ranger soon as well. _YUMMY_.]


	7. Chapter Six

* * *

**Chapter Six.**

* * *

"Uh...I think you've had enough-"

I slapped Lester's hand away and continued to stuff Fritos in my already crowded mouth. I was sitting a few feet away from the supermarket, leaned against the Camry, watching the cops and EMT's roll in. Déjà vu. My cart of food was beside me. The same cart of food that had probably saved my life and that I hadn't paid for. I looked up, selected a pack of cookies and dug into them.

Lester was staring at me with a mixture of pain and concern. I figured he was still angry at the fact that he hadn't been there when the bullets were shot. Either that or he was afraid that I'd stuff myself before someone stopped me.

While I shoved the cookies in my mouth, I relayed the incident. Same man in a mask, same tagged shoe, same gun. He had managed to find me so...what? Had he been following the Camry? And if so, how come we didn't notice? And what the hell did he want with me?

Psh Stephanie that was obvious. He wanted you dead. But _why_? I tried hard to dig into my mind and pull out someone who would be angry with me but couldn't think of anyone in particular that met the man's figure. Suddenly, the cookies were stolen from my hands and I looked up with blazing eyes at the culprit.

I dropped my gaze when I realized who it was.

"How much has she already eaten?"

Lester scratched his head and pointed to the cart. I blinked in shock at it. Holy crap, it was half way gone. I glanced around and realized that there were litters of wrappers and bags lying around me. There was even a half empty beer. I had really gone to town on that food.

Ranger dismissed him and took a seat beside me. "It might just be my imagination but I have the strangest feeling that we've been through this before. Except there's no burning car."

I tried to offer him a smile but it was shaky.

"Are you okay?"

I wanted to say I was. I wanted to _believe_ I was. But I had just eaten my weight in sugar and sodium so I wasn't feeling good at all. Actually, I thought I might puke.

"Babe, you're green."

I tried to form a sentence but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a dry heave and a lot of sputtering. Ranger wrapped his arms around me and cradled me to his chest. I was pretty surprised when I didn't cry. I was set on crying. I had even grabbed a fistful of his shirt to sob pitifully on. But no tears came. Just more heaves that made me feel even more pitiful and useless. I couldn't even squeeze out tears when I wanted to.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"As long as you aren't crying, I'm good." He let me go and I leaned back on the car. "So let me guess; our masked man has made another appearance?"

"I can't even get groceries without getting shot at." I grumbled, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms. Ranger eyed the cart.

"Who exactly was going to eat all that?"

"Well I mean.....I only got it for Rex and Reese. They looked hungry."

He gave me his infamous almost smile. "You're lucky you're so amusing. If you weren't, I'd probably be shooting something right around now."

I wasn't trying to be amusing but I suppose that was just natural me. Stephanie Plum: The joke in herself. That title would be worst than Bombshell. But I guess if it kept Ranger from shooting things and kept me from breaking down then it was worth it. I pulled my knees to my chest. "So what do you think?"

"I think it's getting serious pretty fast." He turned to me. "Have you pissed off anyone lately?"

More Déjà vu. Yikes. "Not necessarily. I mean...I've put away some FTA's...and I guess Joyce is a bit mad-"

"Joyce?" His eyebrows rose slightly. His mouth twitched into a smile and I felt white hot anger boil my blood.

"Yes, _Joyce_. The woman with the perfect body, boobs and face. _That Joyce_. You remember her, _don't you_?" Yeah so call it overreacting but I couldn't stop myself. Ranger smiling at the mention of Joyce's name? Not his best move. I was already close to hysterical. He didn't want to push me anymore. Okay fine, so maybe I'm having a sugar rush.....or maybe I'm just jealous. Who knew?!

He was smirking. I could see it. "I sense a bit of hostility."

"Why'd you smile when I said her name?"

"I was surprised you still spoke to her."

"I don't speak to her! Vinnie calls her in when he wants free service."

"Free service?"

"He'd rather sit at his desk than roam around Stark Street." Stark Street was the worst street in all of Trenton. It housed crack heads, drug dealers, smugglers, hoes, pimps, gang members and any other bad thing you could think of. I had been there a few times and nothing good ever came out of the visits.

"You sound jealous." He twirled a strand of my hair around his finger.

I blew out an outraged sigh and turned my eyes back to the scene at the supermarket. The commotion hadn't calmed down yet. People were still milling around, cops were patrolling around and cars were blocking off exits. "I am not jealous."_ Liar, liar_. "I'm just a bit mad that you smiled at her name when you never smile at mines."

The look on his face was Ranger equivalent to disbelief: a slight lowering of the eyelids, stop of movement, eyebrow twitching. A bland, _what-the- fuck_ face. "I didn't smile."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Your mouth TWITCHED, RANGER!_ I SAW IT_!"

"You're hysterical."

Who was he kidding? I covered my face in my hands and took in a deep breath. "Sorry..."I mumbled again, my voice muffled by my hands. I felt him tug my hair.

"Are you nervous about the wedding?" The amusement in his voice was apparent.

"No! I'm nervous about getting my head blasted off. Go fucking figure." Man, I was pissy today. Was I on my period? Shit, I couldn't even remember!?

"Time of the month?" I turned to give him a death glare. He only grinned. "I'd love to stay here and endure more of your lovely mood but I have to go. Lester will take you home."

"How do you know I want to go...?" I froze, caught what he said and bit my lip. _Take you home_. "How do you know that I want to go back to Rangeman?" I frowned and decided to just blurt it out. "By the way _Batman_, where were you at? You said you'd return early this morning."

Ranger tilted his head back a tinge. "I had things to do."

We stared at each other for a beat and I started to grind my teeth.

"Is that why you're so angry?"

I didn't know how to answer that. Was that why? I had no clue. But something _was_ bugging me. Something that dealt with Ranger. I was itching, _obsessed_, with the question of where he had been until now. I wanted to know his whereabouts, who he was with and exactly what he did. And I wanted to know where he was going. I wanted to know what was more important than comforting me.

Oh man, was I turning into a stalker?

"So...what? Did you have a job to do?" I asked, trying my best to be inconspicuous. My voice came out as a squeaky whisper. Nice Steph.

"More or less."

"And....it lasted most of the night and day?"

He glanced at me sideways. "Yes."

"..Who were you with?"

"Woody and Tank."

I fiddled with the ring on my finger. "No one else?"

He gave me a slight furrowing of his eyebrows. "Babe, what are you trying to figure out?"

_I'm trying to figure out if you fucked a girl or not!_ My eyes widened and I put a hand over my mouth. What the heck was wrong with me? Where had all this jealousy come from? I tugged at my locks and shook my head. I needed to clear my head. I was just freaking out because a guy kept shooting at me, that's all. The reaction to Ranger's absence was just giving me a way to vent out all my frustrations....right?

"How much beer did you drink?" I heard Ranger ask, his voice strained as if he was stifling a chuckle.

I sighed, turned my eyes to the supermarket and groaned. I reached out, grabbed a KitKat from the cart and ate it. Pre-wedding jitters my ass. I was on blown out, fiancé-jealousy mode. And the fucked up thing?

_I wasn't really getting married!_

"Your mother's Jewish."

Ranger turned to stare at me. "What?"

"I told my mom your mother is Jewish and that she wouldn't approve of our wedding."

"You're right."

"She's seriously Jewish?"

"She won't approve of our marriage."

I visibly bristled. "Why not?"

He looked at me and there was a smile in his eyes. "She's not a fan of fake ones."

I sent him a scowl. "How funny..."

**********

According to Tank, cats ate cat food and tuna fish . _Surprising huh_? He also informed me that they drunk milk and water. I set out the bowl I had purchased and filled it up with cat food and Reese instantly attacked it. I smiled, set out some milk, laid the kitty litter in the corner and felt pretty content. The remaining groceries I hadn't managed to stuff down my throat were stacked into Ranger's nearly empty cabinets.

Ranger was gone of course. Off doing who knew what. I refilled Rex's nuggets and put fresh water in his bowl. Huh. This animal caretaking was easy.

My cell phone rang. My mom. "Annie Retell told me that someone shot at the supermarket. Her daughter said she saw you. Were the shots directed at you? My phone has been ringing all day. We had to unplug it."

"I'm fine." I told her even if she hadn't inquired about my health. "It was just some burglar." One thing that I learned early on: NEVER EVER tell my mom that a maniac might be after me. She'd empty out all the stores of their liquor.

I hung up with my mom and then Lula called. "You wasn't at the store today was you? I heard there was another shooting."

"Yeah I know. It was the same guy. I was there."

"Shit. Well I'm on my way to get a meatball sub. You want one? We can split it."

I agreed. I didn't feel like being cooped up in a house that smelled of Ranger. Although it was a delicious smell. I said I'd meet her, hung up, got dressed and grabbed my purse. I took the elevator down to ground level and remembered I didn't have a car. I took the elevator back up, got out on the surveillance floor and all eyes turned on me before the boys went back to work. And by _work_ I meant staring at a screen for a billion hours until you suffered from intense eye strain.

I made my way to the nearest guy, who happened to be Hal and tapped him on his shoulder. "I need a car." I whispered.

He blinked. "Uh...I don't think I can give you one..."

"Why not?"

Hal looked bashful as he said, "The boss kinda...told the crew that you're on...."His embarrassment almost made me blush."Lockdown."

I stared at the giant of a man for a moment before exploding. "WHAT!?" I whispered-strained-squeaked. A few heads turned our way. "Lockdown? Wha-But-What!?" How dare he! Ranger had pulled this stunt many times beforehand. His version of lock down was keeping me trapped on the seventh floor apartment until things sorted themselves out. Or until _he_ sorted things out. And by things; I meant the masked shooter. "I can't be on lock down...I uh...need to go."

"No way. I can't let you go. Ranger would have my ass."

I blew out a sigh. "Listen to me, I _really_ need to go. I can't stay in here all day. I have skips to get. Oh! I got it. How about you just come with me? I'd be safe with you, right?"

"I don't know....Ranger was pretty pissed at Lester when he came back..."

My eye was twitching. I lifted a hand to stop it and held back a groan. I felt a little bit sorry for Hal. He was obviously more afraid of Ranger than he was of me. I couldn't blame him. "Tell you what: I'll buy you a tastykake." I know it was a last ditch move but it was all I had. There was a strict rule around Rangeman. No fattening, sugary, sodium, cholesterol induced foods allowed. I was hoping he'd relent because of it.

I was more than shocked when it worked. Hal's face brightened up for a split second before turning pained. "Fine." Hehehe. I had to make a mental note of this.

_Merrymen will bend when offered sweets._

***********

Thirty minutes later, we were gliding down Stark Street with Lula trailing behind us slowly. I only had a choice between two skips: Benny Teram or Jules Ulise. Aside from me waiting on a call from Terry, those were the very last ones. They weren't very appealing either. Benny Teram was a big, loaf from the looks of it. He had a scar running down his eye, was bald and had a lot of piercings. Jules was no better. He was short, stocky with wide shoulders that looked like bricks. I was sure they connected to even larger arms.

Both of them were listed to live on Stark Street. _Perfect_.

"Hey, I think I see one." I spoke up, pointing out of the tinted windows.

Hal rolled to a stop and Lula did the same. She had made a big fuss about coming here with her Firebird because it was likely to get stolen. But I promised her tastykakes too so all was well. And anyone who dared to try and take one of Ranger's nice, sleek BMW would have to feel the wrath of Batman. And _NO ONE_, not even the roughest gang members wanted to experience that.

Hal squinted out the window and unbuckled his seat belt. "Stay right here." Then he was off, walking towards the sidewalk. I kept my eyes on him, saw him approach the man and then-

_CLONK._

I turned to the driver's side window and spotted a teenager behind it, rapping his knuckles against it. He had a bag in his hand and was pointing frantically at it. He mouthed something and then kept knocking. I flicked my hands towards him; the universal sign for _GO AWAY_. But he didn't. He just kept knocking and pointing at the bag. I turned back to see Hal speaking to the man and then grabbed my taser out of my purse, slid over to the driver's side and cracked open the window a bit.

"What!?" I asked the kid impatiently. One funny mood and I'd sent electric jolts down his body.

His eyes looked glazed and he smelled bad. "I have the good stuff. You want some?"

"No." I started to roll the windows up but he grabbed it. "_Let go_."

"Are you sure man? It's _really_ good."

"I don't smoke pot."

"This is some _realllyyyyy_ good pot though."

I put a hand to my twitching eye. "Let the window go or I'll taser you."

"Hey look..."He stared for a beat before continuing."I'll let you in on a deal...I'll give you two bucks for it."

This kid was beyond high. He was standing beside the Gates to Heaven now. I agreed if only to get him to leave, took the bag and the two dollars and then rolled up the window. He slinked off, whistling and smiling like he made a good profit from the deal. I opened the window a bit more to slide the bag in easier and my ring slipped from my hand and fell out the window.

I froze, eyes wide and then wrenched the car door open, slipped in my hastiness and fell backwards. I hit my head hard on the side of the car and an audible _BANG_ resounded from the car door closing.

UGH. I rubbed at my head, blinked my eyes and stared up at Lula, hands on hips. "_What_ are you doing?"

"My ring fell off! Do you see it!?"

"Lord." She started to check on the ground and I lifted myself up. Or at least, I _tried_. My head was yanked by suddenly and I hit my head on the car again.

"Your hair is stuck in the car door." Lula told me.

_Oh Fuck_....I shut my eyes against the pain and then reached up to feel the top of my head. Sure enough, my hair was lodged into the closed door. Hal suddenly appeared, a man in cuffs with a large purple bruise in front of him. He took one look at the scene and then sighed. "I told you to do one thing....one little thing." He sounded like he regretted bringing me here.

I couldn't blame him. I regretted coming. "My ring!" I cried, fighting against the pain in my scalp. "I lost it! Did you find it yet? Can you see it!?"

Both Hal and the bruised man began to search around. Two minutes later, Lula popped back up with it in her hands. Relief flooded over me and I grabbed it. I smiled, kissed it and then slid it back on. "Now can some one get me out of the door?"

Hal shoved the cuffed man on the ground and tried to open my door. It grinded and wrenched but didn't open. The more they tried, the more it hurt. "OW! OW! STOP!" Tears pooled in my eyes. "Get inside and try to open it."

Lula did as told but it wasn't successful. "Damn thing." She frowned. "Your head must be made of steel. I would have been bawling by now."

I was well on my way. My back was hurting, my scalp was one fire, my eyes were tearing over, my thighs ached. Why? Why me, God? Was it because I was a liar? Was this punishment?

"I could call the fire department." Hall suggested.

How embarrassing. "Do you _have_ to?"

"I should be back in a couple minutes."

WHAT!? A couple of minutes on Stark Street could end your life. I really didn't think that Lula could fend off anyone. I was safer with Hal around. I told them this and Lula snorted.

"Well there is another way." He said and I swear, I heard a smile in his voice. A few seconds later, I saw it. Panic flared in my mind, a scream caught in my throat, terror clouded my head.

I closed my eyes and began to count. _Oh please God, I promise to be a good Samaritan. I promise to got to church and help in soup kitchens and come clean. I really do. Just let me leave here with my head IN TACT!_

As soon as I ended my prayer, I heard a _RIPPP_ sound. The sound of scissors cutting hair.

_********_

Ranger wasn't happy. I could tell by his body language. His foot was tapping, his arms were crossed and he was staring at me as he stood in the bathroom doorway, eyes unblinking. He was in his usual black clothes.

I was standing before the mirror and although I was more than glad to have my ring, I was completely heart broken at my new..._hairdo_. Lula had said I could totally cut more and pull off the bowl cut and I almost cried. Hal simply stayed silent. He must have sensed my distress.

I grabbed the stubby side of my hair and sniffed. I guess in reality, they hadn't cut much off. Instead of spilling a bit over my shoulder, it was hovering over it slightly now. But it was still _my hair_! I should have just let Hal call the fire department and tried my luck.

"How?"

I sniffed again. "I got stuck in the car door trying to get your ring because it fell off."

He shook his head. Ranger's words for my being hopeless. "Babe."

"We went after a FTA."

"Did you catch him?"

"I think so. I also got two bucks and some pot."

"Nice."

I narrowed my eyes, a memory returning. "And who gave you the right to put me on lockdown?"

"I gave myself the right."

"Well ease up. I'm not a child. I'm a grown woman."

"A grown woman who gets her head stuck in car doors?"

I sniffed, remembered my altered locks and grabbed at them. _Awwww....._

He walked over and stood behind me. I blinked at him through the mirror. He looked way more menacing than before. He looked like one of those mass murderers on horror movies that appear in your mirror and chop your head off. "It doesn't look that bad."

"Lula says I could go bob."

His mouth twitched. "It'll be less to manage."

"You're suppose to say you love my hair and that you'd be devastated if I cut it into a bob."

"I love your hair but I think you'll look good in anything." He smirked at me in the mirror and it sent me into a frenzy. My face flushed, my stomach churned and a certain spot below got hot.

"Really?"

"Really." He twirled me around and lowered his lips to touch mines. Man, he was a _great kisser_. His hands wrapped around my waist and I ran my hands up his shirt. A great kisser with a slammin' body. I felt his hand trail the band of my jeans and I was sure we'd end up in bed tonight. But the funny thing was that....it didn't bother me. I actually wanted this to happen. _NO, I'd been waiting_.

That realization made me work faster. I yanked on his cargo pants' zipper and he dragged me towards the bed.

We both froze when we heard a '_meow_'. Our eyes traveled to Reese, sitting up on the bed, staring at us.

"I'm throwing it out the window."

"NO!" I pushed away from him and grabbed her gently. "She's just lonely. She wants some company."

"Oh? Well stuff her in Rex's cage. She'll get all the company she can stand."

I sent him a furious gaze. Jeez, grumpy much. I could understand his frustration though. When one person wasn't interrupting us, a cat was. I started out of the bedroom and went into the kitchen. From behind me I could hear Ranger slumping onto the bed and I think he..._sighed_. I felt a little bad about it. I was still pretty fired up and after I finished with Reese, I'd be back to start it up again. Mr. Grumpy just had to wait his turn.

I sat her down on the kitchen tile.

"You have to be less of a nuisance, got it? Ranger will warm up to you soon, I promise. It took him a few months to warm up to me. At first, we were just bounty hunter friends but now we're....."I trailed off because I honestly had no answer. What were we? Fake fiancés? Friends with benefits? _More_ than that?

Reese meowed and then started to claw at the counter where Rex's cage was. I frowned and walked over to calm her down.

That was when I realized that Rex was lying in his cage, sideways, with his eyes closed.

My heart started to beat rapidly, my mouth felt dry; fear struck every nerve on my body. Reese meowed louder and swiped faster. I leaned down to get a closer look at Rex. He wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing. He wasn't....anything. Oh God Rex.

"Stephanie?" I turned to see Ranger staring at me, hands on hips. "Whoa Babe...you're shaking. What's the matter?"

I must have looked horrible if Ranger was tempted to call me by my first name. I gently grabbed Rex's cage, wiped at my burning eyes and said, "I think something's wrong with Rex."

Ranger glanced at the cage and instantly he was in motion. He grabbed Reese, dragged me to the front door, collected his car keys and ushered me out. I was glad he was in control because I felt numb and scared to death. All I could see was the hamster lying lifelessly in my arms. I held him tight when we slid into Ranger's Porsche and kept my eyes locked on Rex all through the car ride. Reese was curled beside me in the passenger seat, meowing softly and holding her paw to the cage as if she was trying to comfort the hurt animal.

I mumbled incoherently to Rex. I told him about what I thought hamster heaven was like and that he'd get to eat pizza everyday and watch Hamtaro. Ranger was silent as he drove but I saw him snatch glances at me periodically.

It was only when we arrived at the Veterinarian's office and they whisked Rex away that I broke down. I had always considered those pet owners who freaked over their pets were weird and outrageous. I understood how they felt now. I understood what it was like to give up your dying pet to a doctor and have to wait around for the results. Rex might have been small, quiet and furry but damn it, he was _mines_. He was apart of my family and I loved him.

When I started to cry, I felt Ranger wrap his arms around me and pull me close. Reese sat solemnly on the floor, staring into space. And somewhere in my brain, I realized that I considered this feline and this man comforting me with his silence and arms alone were apart of my family as well.

And I didn't think my heart could take losing any of them.

***********

A stroke. Can you believe that!? Rex had a stroke. I didn't even know hamster could have strokes.

"If you scare me like that again, I'll never give you pizza again. EVER." I told the furry little thing, staring at it through its cage. Rex was up and about now, back in his original position on the counter but the vet had warned me that although he was active now, he might be a little tired and sluggish in the next few days. I was instructed to give him plenty of water and hamster nuggets. I also might have to hand feed him if he wasn't as mobile. But after a couple days, he'd be back to normal. The vet told me that Rex was lucky. A minute or two later and it could have been serious.

That information made me feel both nauseated and relieved. Nauseated because the thought of losing Rex had almost broke me and relieved because he was okay and he'd live to run on his wheel another day.

Reese snuggled up to my leg and I rubbed her head. She was the real hero. If she hadn't have been on the bed then Rex wouldn't be alive right now.

And let's not forget Ranger from this equation. He had kept his cool, reacted quickly and comforted me while we waited and when we went home. Who knew that the man of mystery would have helped me save my pet hamster? It was endearing and had me thinking along a different angle. Like maybe he _would_ be a good father.

Okay so maybe comparing a child to a hamster was a little....psychotic but hey, it just had me thinking.

The man in question was in the shower. It was almost eight o'clock and we had been up most of the night thanks to me. I hadn't wanted to sleep. I just sat in the kitchen and watched Rex just in case something happened again. Surprisingly, Ranger and Reese accompanied me. Jeez, he was making me rethink my view on him every minute. One day he'd be silent, hard Ranger who shot people and the next he'd be warm, embracing Ranger who stayed up and conversed to get my mind off terrible things. He was unpredictable in its prime.

He entered the kitchen a beat later, dressed in his usual black, hair damp and looked up to meet my gaze. "What?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You're looking at me weird."

Was I? "How?"

"Like I'm a knight in shining armor."

I grinned. "Maybe I've just realized something new about you."

"Well stop it." He told me, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "I don't look good in armor."

Psh, whatever. Ranger looked good in ANYTHING. "Uh...well, I just wanted to say uh...thanks. For yesterday."

He flipped his water into the opposite hand, reached out and ruffled my hair. "No problem." He opened the cabinets, observed all the _new_ food I'd stacked and gave me a look. "Why?"

"Your cabinets looked empty."

Ranger looked like he wanted to roll his eyes. He closed the cabinets and finished off his water. He threw it into the trash and peeked at Rex. "He looks better." His eyes moved to Reese who was lying on her back, eyes closed, legs up. "And she hasn't messed up my floor yet. This day looks promising."

I thought so too. Then reality crashed down and I paled. "My mom says the wedding is almost done."

"And?"

"Ranger, we're not _really_ engaged."

"So tell her the truth."

I bit my lip. If only it was that easy. A part of me really, really wanted to and a part of me really, really didn't. The part that bothered me the most however was that maybe....just maybe I didn't want the wedding to be canceled. _Just maybe_. And I had ten more days to sort out my feelings and figure the fuck out.

"But tell her later." Ranger said, an almost smile grazing his lips. "The guys are throwing a bachelor party for me today."

For a few minutes, I was motionless and stoic. Then my eyebrows knitted together, my eyes widened and I blinked. "_What_?"

There were a lot of things I saw wrong with that statement.

For one, I hadn't really thought of the Rangeman crew as Ranger's _friends_. I mean sure, they all were loyal, trustworthy and backed him up one hundred percent but that didn't entitle them to be _buddies_. The only person close enough to that was Tank and their conversations contained a maximum of fifteen words. Either I mistook their fear of him for friendliness or they all secretly went out clubbing instead of working. The first one seemed more realistic.

The second thing I couldn't wrap my mind around was _the_ bachelor party itself. That scene seemed so wrong for Ranger. He barely drunk beer, barely said a word and I hadn't saw the man dance _once_ in my life. And I was pretty sure bachelor parties called for all those things.

The last and third thing was the stripper. Because, of course, every bachelor party had a stripper. A slutty, bitchy stripper.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "When!?"

"Tonight."

"Wha-And you're actually going?"

"I wouldn't want to disappoint them." BULL_SHIT_. I saw the expression on his face. He wanted to smile. "Besides, if you want to keep up the charade, it seems only logical."

My eye twitched but I didn't bother to stop it. Then I went childish on him. I turned my nose up and said haughtily, "Well-I don't care! Because um...Lula's throwing a bachelorette party for _me_." His eyebrows rose slightly. "Yep, that's right! So when you're having fun at your little _bore fest_ just remember that I'm having a blast somewhere else WITHOUT you."

God, could I be anymore transparent? In actuality, Lula hadn't planned anything for me. I hadn't even remembered this step of engagement. Probably because I planned to be out of it by now.

Ranger's mouth twitched. "Just don't try to have too much fun."

DAMN HIM. He sounded too damn lax. He should have been pulling his hair out, yelling and screaming and telling me it was unacceptable for me to have one. He should have been worrying about my stalker! _I'm losing my mind! What was up with me?_

"Yeah well, I can't guarantee that."

He gave me a lop sided smile that made me want to strangle something. Something like his neck. "It might be my imagination but you sound a bit...uptight."

I over exaggerated a roll my eyes and scoffed. "Me? _Uptight_!? Yeah right. I'm smooth. You're the one who's uptight. Not me. _YOU_." I poked him in his chest, scoffed again and then stormed away. "I have things to do now so don't wait up for me! And yes, my mom wants us over today at four so be there _on time_!" I hurriedly put on my shoes, grabbed my purse and left out the door, slamming it.

Two beats later, I came back, walked back into the kitchen and said in a mumble, "I need a car." There was a blush creeping into my cheeks.

Ranger gave a slight shake of his head. "Babe."

* * *

How melodramatic, I am. Haha. Yoda talk. If I' made you feel sorry for Rex for a few minutes then BOOYAH!

If not then darn. ^_^ I hope you all are looking forward to that bachelor party. Bwaha. Review? xD


	8. Chapter Seven

I would love to tell you guys if this is going to have a babe HEA (_you know, I just recently googled this! It makes Happily Ever After, who knew!?_) but......I'm not. Haha. Just know that I love Ranger no matter what happens ^_^ You just wait and see...or not.

Uh...GO BATMAN!

Moving forward....

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

"How long is you gonna have people body guarding you?" Lula asked me, peeking out of the Bonds office window. _Probably after this whole 'masked shooter' cleared up and Ranger stopped being so damn protective_. Lula was staring at Ram and Woody sitting in one of the Rangeman, sleek black expensive looking cars. Yes, that's right. _Mother Hen Ranger_ had assigned me _two_ bodyguards this lovely evening. I screamed how unfair he was being, thought I sounded a bit too childish so stormed away from him without saying goodbye. Go me. But I was grateful he didn't put me back on lock down.

I spun on Lula. "Ranger's having a bachelor party."

Lula gave me a wide eyed look and Connie glanced up from her desk, head cocked to the side. "_Ranger_?" They asked at the same time, incredulous.

I knew how they felt. It was absurd. "Yeah I know. He told me about this morning. The Rangeman crew planned it for him. How crazy is that? I tried to get information from Ram and Woody but they totally blew me off. Just kept smiling and shaking their heads. What do I do?"

"You let him have a bachelor party." Connie shrugged. Lula nodded her agreement.

I stared at them wide eyed. "What!? That's your advice?"

Connie gave me a weird look."What do you want me to say? What did you expect?" I expected him to NOT have one. "You do know that bachelor parties normally happen when someone gets _married_ right?"

"You should have saw it coming." Lula told me. "And not only are you going to let him have it, _YOU'RE_ going to have one yourself."

I thought back on my lie to Ranger. About Lula planning me one and blinked. "I don't want one."

"You have to. It's tradition."

"_I don't want one_."

"Sheesh." Lula snorted. "Grumpy much?" I've been grumpy since yesterday. It's crazy. My hormones were on the rage. I was freaking out. I could barely think straight. "Fine. Don't have one. But I'm telling you, you should. It'll be the last time you're allowed to see other men naked. But then again, if I was marrying Ranger, I don't think that'd be necessary. I mean, you can't go anywhere but down from him, ya know?"

Oh I did know. Just not recently. Maybe that was my problem. Maybe I was sexually frustrated. Maybe that was why I was spinning out of control. Either that or I was losing the last of my marbles and I didn't know how to get them back. I really, really didn't want a party but the idea of Ranger having one was sending all kinds of weird vibes through my head and I couldn't understand _why_! So what if there would be a stripper? He was a grown man. He could do anything he wanted right?

But we were engaged so actually, he couldn't!

Or, at least, we were '_supposedly_' engaged.

And maybe we'd actually go through with the marriage.

No! No, we wouldn't. We both were too different. It wouldn't work.

Although opposites do attract.....

I pulled on my hair and closed my eyes. This was giving me a headache. I needed an aspirin. I needed sleep. I needed time to think._ I don't know what I needed_!

But I know what I _wanted_. And that was scarier than being confused. I wanted_ Ranger _to skip out on the party and spend time with _me_.

"Are you okay? You're pulling out your hair. You shouldn't do that so close to your wedding. By the way, when is it? And who's your maid of honor? Normally, I'd be it unless someone else is. Right?"

I sighed and gave Lula a weary look. "You can be it."

She did a little fist pump in the air and said a sympathetic "Sorry." to Connie before continuing her dance. I shook my head.

"So if you're not having a bachelorette party then what are you going to do?" Connie questioned, ducking her head back into her files.

I turned to look at Connie and Lula as they waited for my answer. I blew out a sigh and shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to deal with it."

*********

Deal with it, my ass. As soon as I slid into the backseat of the car, I was on Ram and Woody again. I couldn't persuade Lula to come with this time because she had an appointment for her nails so I was all alone at interrogating them. Ram started the engine and asked me where I wanted to go.

"I want to go to where Ranger's having the party at."

The men groaned and threw up their hands, slumping back into their seats. They knew the drill. I was going to pummel with questions and, this time, they'd tell me or get tasered. I was a woman on a mission.

Woody turned to frown at me. "Steph, we've told you this already. We can't let the _bride to be_ know where the _groom_ is having the party at, okay?"

"Well, why not?" I narrowed my eyes. I hadn't read this in engagement etiquette. It wasn't against the law, was it? I think not.

Ram shrugged. "Marrying a woman nicknamed Bombshell is enough on the man. Can he have one night of peace?"

I felt like choking him but Ram was huge and scary and I was quite sure he was just joking. "He _will_ have a night of peace. Who says that telling me the location will guarantee I'll _come_?" They gave me bland looks." I'd_ just_ like to know so I can uh...stay out of the way." I was getting better at lying. Whoopee.

The men exchanged looks and then Woody said, "Fine. We're having it at Rangeman. See? Not a big deal. You probably would have noticed so we were going to try and pawn you off on a newbie the entire night." He grinned at me and I gave them wide eyed stares. How dare they! "Of course, we're having it around the surveillance room. Ranger's too much of a worrier to have only new recruits watching the compounds."

I would have laughed if I wasn't so angry. Having a party and keeping an eye on his building was classic Ranger. I wasn't sure why I was so mad. Probably because they were trying to keep the information a secret. Sheesh. It wasn't like I'd break in or something.

My eyes widened at my own thoughts and I smiled slowly. _Breaking in....hehehe._

_"_What's that smile for?" Ram asked, eyebrows furrowed in panic. "I don't like it. It looks evil."

In the past, I hadn't thought I was that evil. Actually, I considered myself pretty pure hearted. But I think Evil Stephanie had just awoken.

**********

"And here's the seating arrangements."

I gave the paper a fleeting look before digging back into my mother's pineapple upside down cake. She gave me a disapproving frown and before she could say it, I cut in flatly, "I know, I know. If I keep eating like this I'll be bigger than a blimp. I get it."

She only sighed and moved on. I was sitting at the table with Valerie, Grandma Mazur and my mom while they showed me all the wedding plans that were completed which were _a lot_, surprisingly. We only had a few more things to go but I didn't care. The only thing that excited me at this point was choosing the wedding cake and the icing on top.

I let out my own sigh and wiped at my face. I sounded so committed. I sounded like this was really going to happen. I still had a few days until I hit the 'two week' mark and no genius plans were arising. I should have known this was going to happen. I was going to wimp out, never tell her and Ranger would probably do it.

I stuck my fork into the cake. While I'm on the subject, my _fiancé_ wasn't present at the moment. I had told him to be here four o'clock sharply and it was four thirty two at the moment. I thought that I'd be freaking out about his absence again but I wasn't. I was in my indifferent mood. Flat, uncaring, _whatever_. I had to be close to my period. My emotions were all over the place.

But that didn't stop my eye from twitching angrily when the doorbell rang. I jumped from my seat, sprinted to the door before anyone else could and opened it. "_Right on time_." I said sarcastically.

Ranger just stared.

"Well?" I asked, eyebrows raised. "What's your excuse this time?"

"I was busy."

"Of course."

"Babe, you're starting to sound like a _real fiancé_."

I glared at him while he moved inside and slammed the door shut. Shit, that wasn't good. I wasn't suppose to sound like a _real fiancé_, was I? Oh no, but I _did_! And I was starting to think like one! I started to chew on my nails as I followed him into the kitchen.

"Oh hello Carlos! We were just discussing the invitations."

_We were_?! I paled. No, no, no...the last thing I remembered was the....damn it, I don't remember what I last remembered! "What-what invitations?"

My mom gave me a weird look. "The...invitations to the _wedding_."

I figured that. I gave Ranger a look but he only smiled. I frowned back at him. I wasn't sure what my frowning at him would do but I was hoping it'd tell him telepathically that he needed to help me stall this thing as long as possible. He gave me an almost smile again and I knew that my mind message hadn't been sent. Either that or he was telling me he wouldn't interfere. Damn it, I needed to get better at this telepathy.

"Oh! I have something to give you, Stephanie." My mother rose from her seat, smiled and dragged me upstairs. "We'll be just a minute!" She called down to the others. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Grandma Mazur advance on Ranger and grinned. Hah, that'd teach_ him_ to be late.

My mom led me into her room and waltzed up to the closet. Her smile was large and she was trembling from what I could only guess was barely contained excitement. It was a little weird to see. "Now I know how you've probably been stressing out about this." Oh she had no idea. "So I've decided to let you have this. Consider it the 'something borrowed'."

I had no idea what was to come so I just kept silent and waited. She flung the closet door open and that was when I saw it. My mouth dropped open, my head cocked to the side in disbelief and I felt something creep into my chest. Something fluttery and expected. Something that reminded me of happier days.

"Oh...mom..." I felt my eyes burn and gave her a shaky smile. I couldn't think of any words that would explain what I was feeling. Probably because I didn't even know how I felt. I was sad, mad, guilty, happy and unbearably touched all at once.

"I know that you probably hadn't bought one yet. I found it a few days ago in the attic, coincidence huh? I'm sure you can fit it." She looked a bit nervous. "So, what do you think?"

"I think it's beautiful." And it was. My mom giving me her old wedding dress _was_ beautiful. The dress was beautiful, even after all these years. It wasn't outrageous or extremely extravagant but it was lacy, modest, pretty and there wasn't anything I'd rather wear. "Thank you, mom."

She smiled warmly at me and rubbed the fabric. I saw the loving look she gave it and felt the guilt rush over me instantly. Here my mom was: using her money to plan the wedding, doing all the things I was too lazy to do, giving me her old dress.

And I was lying to her. I'd been lying to her from the start and I was too much of a chicken to tell her the truth because I was afraid she'd be ashamed and disappointed of me.

But I couldn't blame her if she was. I was an ungrateful daughter. I was terrible at my job. I was horrible with my relationships. I was a coward. I couldn't do a thing right. I couldn't even keep my _pet hamster_ out of harm's way. I was a screw up.

"Oh Stephanie, you don't have to cry." My mom laughed softly. "I've always wanted you to wear it. Valerie bought a fancy one for hers so I saved this especially for you."

I wiped at the tears I hadn't known were running down my face and nodded, giving her a light smile. Her words only heightened my guilt and more tears rolled down my cheeks.

I wasn't crying just because of the dress, although that was a part of it. I was crying because of my life. Because I was such a fuck up. Because I was doomed to be the most unaccomplished, pitiful human being on the face of this green Earth.

The gateways of Hell were way behind me and I was walking deep into the pits of Hell. And there wasn't anyone to blame for that but myself.

**********

"Babe, are you okay?"

I watched Ranger enter in the bedroom. He was in a dark suit and I felt heat rush to my stomach. I had only saw Ranger in a suit once or twice and it'd give anyone a hot flash. We had left from my mother's place an hour ago, after we finished the invitations and sent them out. As soon as we arrived back at Rangeman, Ranger had dressed and left downstairs for an interview.

While he did that, I fed both Rex and Reese, ate some cereal and then came to sit on his silky sheets for a few minutes to re-evaluate my crappy life. Apparently, I had sat here thinking for quite some time because he was back already.

Most likely, he was going to start getting ready for his...._GAG_...bachelor party.

"Have you been sitting there since we came back?"

I watched him strip off his tie and nodded tiredly. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"I just...wanted some peace and quiet. To think."

"About?"

"Life."

He raised an eyebrow and took off his dress shirt. I unconsciously licked my lips at his bare chest. "How'd that go?"

"Alright. I've come to the realization that I'm worthless and a complete waste of body parts and bones."

Ranger must have noticed my depressed tone because he paused and stared at me for a bit. "What exactly did your mother show you upstairs? You've been moping ever since you came down."

I had? Great. "She showed me her old wedding dress." I glanced up at him. "She wants me to wear it."

"So?"

"What do you mean so?!" I exclaimed, jumping up from the bed. "Ranger, we're lying to people about an engagement that never happened and are about to be MARRIED! Aren't you ashamed? Scared?!"

"Not really. Besides, you're the one who got us into this."

"Well-You went along!"

He shrugged. "If it bugs you that much then tell them the truth."

"I...can't!" I sighed heavily and sat back down. "I just...I can't disappoint my mom like that. She's put so much thought into it. It...I just can't."

"Then let's get married for real."

I perked up and gave him a look of disbelief. "Wait...you're not....are you....so you really want to marry me?!" I couldn't keep the excitement from my voice. The idea of that being true was just so....I couldn't form words for it. One part of me thought it was absolutely fantastic. I had deep feelings for Ranger, that was a given but if we really got married then I'd stop worrying. I'd be able to go through it without guilt.

The other part of me was freaked. Ranger and I had a difficult relationship. He wasn't very open and I thought that'd be a problem. I needed more than a 'Babe' everyday. And I didn't want to have doubts walking down that aisle.

But I didn't want Ranger to marry me just so I'd stop feeling guilty. That'd feel even phonier. I wanted him to marry me because he _really wanted_ to. Not because he wanted to help me save face with my family. Because he..._gulp_...loved me.

So that was what I was waiting for. I was waiting fro him to say he loved me and wanted to marry me. I was waiting for him to spill his guts to me about his true feelings for me. I was waiting for Batman to reveal a piece of him that I'd wanted to see for a very long time.

But Ranger didn't respond. He just took off his shoes. I frowned. "Hello? Earth to Batman. I asked you a question."

"I can't answer it until you answer mines."

I was confused for a moment before I recalled the car conversation and started to grumble angrily. I opened my mouth but nothing was coming out. Damn it, why was it so hard for me answer it? I knew the answer _already_...didn't I?

"While you ponder that, I'll be getting ready." He said, starting to take off his pants. I shrieked and looked away. "You can peek, you know. I would show you much more but my party's starting soon."

I blushed but frowned at his voice. It held a smile in it. "Well...I don't care. Mines is starting uh...."

"Babe, I know you don't have one planned."

Damn it. I hated him and his smarts. "How do you-Oh fine, whatever. I'm still not going to stay here and listen to you guys all night."

"On the contrary: you are."

I turned to gave him a wild look but quickly turned and covered my face. He wasn't done getting dressed yet. I strained out through a shaky voice, "What are you talking about?" I heard some rustling and waited a beat before sneaking a look at him again. _Oh his thighs were really toned_...

"I feel your eyes on me."

I rolled my eyes and waited for him to get completely dressed. No harm in watching, right? He was my fiancé after all. "Now what do you mean? I'm not staying-"

"I said you are." His eyes were intense and focused on me as he strapped on his boots. Leave it to Ranger to wear all black and combat boots to a bachelor party. I puffed out my cheeks in anger and opened my mouth to give him a good berate but he cut me off. "I have to tell you something."

I snapped my mouth shut at his sudden serious tone and waited, blinking.

He stood up. "I got a call a few days ago from one of my contacts about an escaped criminal." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "He got out a few weeks ago from an asylum out of country. He boarded a plane to America and has been here for a full week." He paused and I waited patiently to see where this was going. "His name is Malik Rav. He was one of my higher classed track downs. I busted him on a huge drug rush a few years back. I heard he took a train to Jersey."

Suddenly, it hit me. Ranger's long absences, his anger the first time I was shot at, his over protectiveness, the man with the tag on his shoe. "You think Malik is the masked man."

He stared at me for a beat before saying, "I have a hunch."

I put a hand to my mouth and didn't know what to feel. "But...why would he be after....." I trailed off when the realization slammed into me full force and I gave Ranger a shocked look. "He wants me to get to you." I took Ranger's solemn silence as a 'yes.' "But...is he that crazy!? I mean, what does he want? _Revenge_? How did he even know we were here? _How does he even know I know you_? Why haven't the police caught him yet?" The questions were pouring out one by one and I spit them out rapidly, trying to wrap my brain around the concept.

"Malik's a very smart man. It took me nearly two months to catch him and I lost a lot of good men along the way. But his intelligence doesn't help his destructive behavior. He's a walking time bomb which is why the asylum tried to help him deal with whatever he's gone through. He has contacts almost everywhere so I'm sure that finding out where I am and hunting down my 'supposed' fiancé was no big deal for him." Ranger sat down beside me. "We've been trying to get him again without the police. Just _us_."

"Why?" He didn't answer and then I knew why. "Because when you catch him, you want to deal him yourselves."

"He's a sick, twisted, sadistic bastard. He's dangerous as hell and I don't think an asylum is going to help the guy." He turned to stare down at me. "If we find him ourselves then we can do whatever we want."

I saw the glint of fury in Ranger's eyes and couldn't help but gasp. I hadn't seen him look so...angry before. He was always composed, calm and collected. That was his MO. The look in his eyes and his words only added to his intimidating ways. "What do you...plan to do once he's caught?"

"I plan to show him what happens when he messes with the people around me."

"And what would that be?" My voice was almost in inaudible. It was after I asked was when I realized I didn't want to know the answer.

"I'm going to kill him."

_YIKES_. I bit my lip and glanced away. He had said it without hesitation, without flinching. This was the tactical Ranger. The cold blooded Ranger that I suspected lied deep inside him, only to be revealed in measures such as this. This was the Ranger who could murder without a second thought.

I always had a thought that Ranger killed people. But it had always been just _that_; a thought. He had never told me outright about it but then again, I had never been foolish enough to ask. My curiosity getting the better of me, I suppose. Either way, it was the wrong thing to ask.

I didn't want to judge him for doing what he thought was right. Didn't want to be afraid of him. Didn't want to view him as a monster but I couldn't help but stand up and keep my distance from him. I felt my eyes burn as I watched him and didn't know why. I didn't want to hurt him. Didn't want to show him how much I was frightened by his behavior and words. I didn't want him to know that I didn't approve of his method no matter who it was.

But he noticed it anyway. He glanced up and for a fleeting moment, I saw outright rage and..._hurt_ flash in his eyes. The look of a condemner. Then it was replaced by his guarded face. "This is why." He started, his voice sounding tight. "This is exactly the reason why I avoid relationships."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to say that I understood because I didn't. I didn't want to comfort him because I was too frazzled to approach him. I couldn't form words. I could barely move. I felt the tears slide down my cheeks but couldn't make a move to wipe them away. I just kept my eyes on him and kept quiet.

He stood up, ran a hand through his hair and sighed. It was a completely foreign site to see. He looked nervous and edgy. There was no such thing as a nervous and edgy Ranger. He was Batman. He was my knight in shining armor. He didn't worry about anything. He always knew what to do.

But now he was pacing back and forth and shaking his head. I didn't know what he was thinking. I couldn't even _guess_ what he was thinking. His face was a mask of indifference but I saw the clenching of his jaw, the twitch of his mouth, the emotions trying to struggle out. He was trying hard to keep up his calm act but it wasn't working.

Then he turned to me, opened his mouth, closed it and then opened it again. "I have to go." His voice was softer then I remembered. I tried to figure out how our carefree conversation had escalated to such drastic results but couldn't find an answer. It occurred to me that Ranger had indeed showed me a part of him that I hadn't saw yet.

I nodded at him, wiped my tears and he moved past me. I followed him to the foyer, watched him open the door and turn around to look at me again. He looked like he wanted to say something, like he was pain and wanted to tell me why but instead, he turned and walked out.

I heard him call out a beat later, "Stay inside."

Then the elevator doors closed and he was gone.

* * *

Yeah I know. No party. But I PROMISE it'll be in the next one haha. I would have added it in but I didn't want this chapter to be a million words long, haha. Anyway, hope you all liked and weren't turned off by the ending. Dramatic again. Poor JE characters, haha.

-TBS ^_^


	9. Chapter Eight

Humor AHOY!

Haha. -__-

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

* * *

"Well this is nice, right? Sitting up here, under the covers, watching dumb movies?" I petted Reese's fur while she curled on my knee and glanced down at Rex in his cage. He was running on his wheel. Neither responded. Yeah, I actually didn't think it was that nice either.

I pouted and sighed, laying my head back on the comfy couch. I tried to focus on the television screen but it was almost impossible to do with all the things on my mind.

The loud music, whooping and hollering a few floors down weren't helping either.

I set Rex down on the couch, gently took Reese off me and stomped to the door. I don't know how long they'd been down there but it had to be a good three hours and the noise had only increased each hour. I don't know what was more infuriating: The actual ruckus _or_ the fact that Ranger was having fun while I was stuck in his apartment because some guy was after me. How unfair!

I had done all I could do. I made ten sandwiches, fed the animals over an over again, watched T.V, fixed my hair, took a shower. Everything, _anything_ that could get my mind off of Ranger, our last conversation and the party.

Hell, I had even tried to sneak in _twice_ even after my promise to Ram and Woody. It was a wasted effort. I barely got two feet in before they pushed me out. But from my skimp peeks, it looked pretty fun. I saw glimpses of banners, balloons, confetti, and other miscellaneous thing that don't fit Ranger at all.

I paced about, wrung my hands and started to talk to myself. I told myself that Ranger was probably just as miserable as I was and that he felt just as bad as I did about the conversation we had. I told myself that he was obsessing over what my answer to his question was and that he was waiting for me to call him and let him know just how I felt. I told myself that I'd have to deal with whatever happened to Malik and love Ranger unconditionally because he was what I wanted.

I told myself that he'd put all his fears behind him, tell me he loved me and there'd be a happily ever after.

If only, right?

I frowned, stuck my feet in my shoes, wrapped a coat around my shoulders, got my purse, grabbed Ranger's car keys and left. I didn't know where I was going or if I'd get caught but I really didn't care. I needed some fresh air.

And I suppose I would have gotten some fresh air if I hadn't have taken the elevator to the ground level and ran into a young, pretty looking bleached blond. She looked around her early twenties, had curves that only Botox could create, had _way_ too much makeup on and had on high heels with an unflattering long, drench coat.

But I knew what was under the coat. My blood started to boil.

She smiled at me. "Oh hey there. Can you tell me where the party is?"

I clenched my teeth and kept my anger in check. "Uh...what party?" I asked innocently, feigning confusion.

"The bachelor party." Then she posed and told me all I needed to know. "I'm the stripper, haha." Obviously, she was proud of her job. I wondered why in the world she was just arriving. Could those pigs really have that much fun _without_ strippers? "Which floor is it on again? I forgot."

_Okay calm down Steph, she's not your enemy. This is her job. Don't fault her for that_. I forced a smile her way. "You can't miss it. It'll be the floor where all the noise is coming from."

She grinned and said thanks. I rolled my eyes towards the sky and took in a deep breath and tried not to acknowledge that the woman was good looking and that I was maybe, a teeny bit jealous. I looked forward to see that she hadn't left yet and was admiring my ring.

"Oh wow! That's so pretty!" She exclaimed, obviously not connecting one and two together. "Wow, you must have a rich husband. I'd love it if a guy bought me that."

I rolled my eyes. "Lucky me, huh?"

"Yep!" Then she squinted at my face. "Wait, are you already married or getting married?"

"I'm engaged." I strained out, hoping she'd see that I was the _fiancé_ of the man she'd be stripping for and scurry away.

But she didn't. She just cocked her head to the side and mutter to herself, "Oh. Well that's hard to believe."

I gave her a slight glare, blood pumping through my head. "What was that?"

She looked at me, smiled bashfully and made a motion with her hands. "Oh nothing! I just thought you'd already be married, ya know?" She giggled and this time, she started to walk away. "'Cause you look at least...oh I don't know...forty or so? Which just goes to show you that even old people can find love! Haha!"

See now, these weren't the smartest words to say to a woman about to be married and had been on an emotional roller coaster for almost a week.

I'm not completely sure but I suppose that her words were my breaking point and the last marble dropped. I could almost hear an audible _SNAP_ and then the next thing I knew, I was on top of her.

Now, I remember vaguely that I had done this before. Not too long ago either. Maybe a few days. But this time, I was out of control. I had one hand wrapped around her blond tresses and the other was punching at her face. I could hear her terrified screams and felt the hand slapping me on my cheek but it was too late. I was in the zone!

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the elevator door open and a few figures stumbled out. There was a beat of silence and then there were uproars from the crowd that I could only assume where the drunken Rangemen employees. Another beat passed before someone finally pulled me off the poor girl. I was still swinging and yelling while I was lifted and caught of glimpse of my furious aftermath.

I flinched, relaxed and watched the girl get up and scream, "YOU CRAZY DUMB BITCH!" Before turning to the men. "SHUT UP YOU DUMB APES!" Then she stomped off, hands balled into fist, hair wild, eyes blazing, jacket half askew. "This is the last time I do this...ugh."

And of course, guilt washed over me and I sighed. Great. I had just beaten up a girl. But although I felt bad for her, I couldn't help but feel elated as well. That'd teach her to call _me_ old.

I was twirled around to stare up at Ranger. His face was calm but I saw his mouth twitched. He wanted to smile. I turned my gaze to the other men and nearly passed out in amazement. They were cheering and yelling and each had a beer in there hands. I had never seen them so unorganized.

"Babe." Ranger looked completely sober but he sounded a little...slurred.

"She called me old."

"Three cheers for _BOMBSHELL_!" I heard a guy call out, who sounded strangely like Cal.

They all held up their beers to the sky and shouted, in quite a good attempt at unison to be drunk, "HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! _HIP HIP HOORAY_!" Leave it to a bunch of muscle headed guys to find humor in a defacing of an innocent woman. Okay fine...maybe she wasn't _that_ innocent but my reaction was pretty uncalled for.

Then again, I was up and down these days so I'd just blame it on hormones later.

"Isn't this a bit messed up? I thought _you_ were suppose to be the one who got drunk." I said, watching the men punch each other and play fight.

"I don't drink a lot of beer." Ranger answered, his expression almost amused. "Besides, you were around so I needed to be sober in case you did something like _this_. That woman's lucky I glanced at the screen or else you would have tore her head off." I rolled my eyes at his smile. "I told them they could get shitfaced but still had to be alert tomorrow."

"Wow, if I hadn't known you better, I'd think you were turning soft."

"Let's hope not."

"RAH RAH RAH!" I saw Lester clink his beer to someone else's while they continued their cheers. Binkie broke out in a little dance and the guys made a circle around him, chanting his name. He was doing some sort of thrusting-limbo-hip hop-drunken-Irish dance with his legs kicking out. The others joined in with their own mixed efforts at dancing and I have to admit, they weren't all that bad.

Then a very large somebody, _I have a hard time believing it was actually Tank_, dived into the middle, went to his knees and started tearing his shirt off. They whooped and cheered and threw money at him.

"GO TANK, GO TANK, GO TANK!" The big man welcomed the cheers, stuffed the money down his pants, raised his arms and flexed him muscles.

My eyes were the size of bowling balls. Had Tank just become the _stripper_? I tried to stifle my giggles but they burst out and turned to Ranger but he was looking down at his feet, his shoulders shaking from either laughter or embarrassment. I'd go with the latter.

Lester exited from the pack, draped an arm around Tank and pointed our way. He took a huge gulp of his beer, burped and then said, "Ranger…Carlos…Ricardo…Boss…Dude….I've always known you'd uh…marry Bombshell. I mean, you're the only person who can handle her, AM I RIGHT!?"

He got loud, hearty agrees from everyone else. I saw Ranger shake his head but a smile was twitching at his lips.

"Yeah, I'm right bitches!" Lester raised his glass, the others followed and they cheered. "Anyway..." He pointed a shaky finger at us again. "I just want to say that…..you guys…you two….Stephanie and uh....you, the other one....you guys…"He shook his head and I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it but tears twinkled in his eyes and he sucked in a deep breath. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry." He strained, waving at his eyes.

"What he's trying to say is….." Tank shoved him away, nodded his head forward and said, "Congratulations!"

They all threw their beers cans on the floor and pumped their fists in the air, screaming, "_WHOO! Congratulations Stephanie and Ranger!" _After wards, they started to sway together and sing '_Happy birthday to you_'.

"I think they're confused." Ranger stated.

"This is weird but amusing." I told him, grinning. I watched Tank finish the first few lines of the song before he suddenly passed out and the guys broke out in loud laughter, each rolling onto the ground. In less than five seconds, they were all out snoring.

Ranger only shook his head, grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the elevator. "These are the people I hire...."

"You aren't going to wake them up?"

"I'll throw water on them later." He hit the button to the seventh floor. "First, I'd like to know what you were doing out of the apartment."

"Uh-I-uh-"

"With my car keys."

I looked down at my hands and was surprised that I'd kept hold of the thing the entire time. I must have beaten the stripper with them. "Going for a stroll?" I offered, smiling widely.

He gave me a look that told me he wasn't amused at all. "I told you to stay inside."

"Well _sor-ray_ that I didn't want to listen to you guys all night." I grumbled, crossing my arms. "Have a nice time?"

Ranger gave me a full on smile and I felt my eye twitch. "Someone's jealous."

"Am not."

"Babe, you mauled the stripper."

"She called me old!"

The elevator doors opened and I led the way to the apartment, power walking and throwing the front door open. Ranger came in after me and shut it. I glanced at the couch and saw that Reese was asleep and so was Rex. I put Rex back on the counter and watched him for a minute before turning and bumping into Ranger.

"You-you know," I started, a bit disoriented by how close he was. "You can't just put me on lock down whenever you want. I...I have feelings too so maybe you should have asked me how _I_ feel."

"How _do_ you feel?" His expression was fierce. "About everything?" I remembered his slight breakdown that had only happened a few hours ago and wondered how he could change so dramatically in such a little time. I was still confused and worried and scared and-

"Everything?" My throat was a little dry so my voice came out scratchy.

"Have you come up with the answer to my question?"

I looked away but he put a hand under my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. I bit my lip. He was being more aggressive than usual. Oh wait...shit, was Ranger _tipsy_?

"Time's running out, Steph." He told me, softly. I could smell the faintest hint of beer on his breath. "In a few days, a wedding's going to take place. You have to choose _now_."

"Well...why do_ I _have to? What about_ you_?" I pushed away from him. "You told me you didn't do relationships yet you send little implications say we should really get married. You don't tell me how you feel, you play stupid mind games and you're way too unpredictable. What is it _you_ want? Maybe if you tell me that then I'll know what _I_ want."

"I think you already know." Ranger moved closer, his words relaxed and smooth. "I think you already know and you're trying to run away. _I_ would know. I've been doing it for a while now."

I blinked at him in disbelief. Had he just told me he'd been running away?! Was he admitting this? I squinted and asked carefully, "I think you're drunk, Ranger."

He waved it off as if it was nothing. "I'm fine." He did sound okay but I didn't want to continue the conversation so I tried the angle again.

"You're swaying a bit."

"I know exactly what I'm doing." He said, a bit more forcefully. I just blinked at him while he rubbed at his eyes. "I...I think you're trying to figure out if my lifestyle is worth it." He was getting closer, taking a step forward at a time. Almost like a lion stalking its prey. Rambling on. "I think you're scared that, if you do let down your guard, you'll get hurt. I think you're trying to find excuses that'll show you we aren't meant to be. I bet you've even told yourself that we were too different." He was right on top of me now, his eyes narrowed, mouth set in a light smile. "I bet you've been obsessing about this for a few days. And I think that you're in love but can't come around to say it. I think you're so...frustrated because you know...that deep down you love me with all your heart but...you just...damn it, you just can't get away from your past. From all your bad choices, from all your heartbreak and fear. You _want_ to love but it's so hard for you...Right?"

I tried to keep my face placid while I held his gaze but it was hard. One look at his slightly pained expression told me exactly what he was doing. He was substituting me for him in his speech.

_He_ was the one afraid to love._ He_ was the frustrated one. _He_ was the one making excuses. That realization told me that I hadn't been the only one thinking those things.

"I..."I didn't know how to respond. I knew he was right in a way, he knew he was right, the whole freaking world knew he was right. Isn't that what we had been doing? Running away, making excuses, covering up? So...what exactly was I suppose to say? I wanted to agree, wanted the courage to tell him how I really felt, wanted to tell him that what he said about Malik had only been an excuse to push him away but my fear took over and I stayed silent.

Ranger's hand clenched for a split second before falling. "Why'd you attack the stripper?"

I blinked. "I told you already...because she called me-"

"Why did you_ really_ attack her?" His eyes were boring into mines, holding me in place, taking my breath away.

"Ranger I...."

"_Why did you attack the stripper_?"

"I...I don't know!" I erupted, shaking my head. "I mean, I do know but...I don't! I....I've been unnaturally possessive of you recently. Yes, you can call me jealous...is that what you wanted to hear!? Fine! I'm jealous damn it. I was jealous that you'd rather watch some other woman strip when I was right upstairs. I was angry because you...drive me insane! You make me feel happy and then you hit a 360 and I'm left feeling miserable! I was..._hurt_ because...I....because I..."

I didn't get to finish my incoherent rambling because he leaned down and kissed me. My eyes widened in shock for only a moment before I kissed back and wrapped my hands around his neck. And this wasn't a regular kiss. This was one of those _Oh-My-God_ kisses with a lot of tongue and the power to make you whimper. I felt like I was melting into him and all my fear, worries and concern seemed to melt away too.

He broke away a minute later and stared down at me, leaning his forehead against mines. I felt rejuvenated and _new_. I know it might sound a bit far fetched but that one kiss gave me what I'd needed all along: Strength. It was time to face my fears, suck it up and do what_ I_ wanted for a change.

_Come on Steph, this was your life, take charge._

"I guess what I was trying to say was," I continued quietly, standing on my toes to plant another kiss on his lips. A soft one. "If you wanted to see a woman strip for you, you could have asked me."

He smiled and trailed a hand along my jaw. "Can I take you up on that offer?" His voice was thick with intensity.

_You could take me anywhere. _But instead I said, "Not yet. I have something really important to tell you." His eyebrows rose in question. "Ranger..._Ricardo_, I have an answer to your question." I smiled warmly at him and ran my hands through his hair. "I don't love Joe anymore. I love _you_."

And it was true. It was the most truest, clearest, piece of information I had ever come to know. I couldn't believe how much I had tried to deny it. How much I had tried to fight it.

The expression on his face was priceless and definitely un-Ranger. His eyebrows shot up, his mouth came open a bit and I couldn't believe he hadn't seen that coming. "Really?" It might have just been me but was his voice unnaturally squeaky?

I laughed and kissed him again for my reply. _Really_. Really, really, really. Really times a billion. All I had to do was stop fighting the emotions and let them come. My jealousy, my crazy emotions, all the anger I felt when he wasn't around, everything. All of it had been warning me. Telling me that I loved the man no matter how hard I denied it. That whatever he did to Malik shouldn't have bothered me so much. That if it came to the inevitable, I was strong enough to deal with it.

It was time to face the facts. I was utterly, gut wrenching, wholeheartedly in love with Ricardo Carlos Manoso.

Now I needed to know if he felt the same way.

I felt butterflies invade my stomach. Whew. Oh boy. I took a deep breath. I could do this. I wasn't cowardly Stephanie any longer. I could ask him this. I could ask him about _my_ question. I opened my mouth but he spoke first.

"We'll have to cut our visits to your mother down to once or twice a week."

I gave him a confused stare. "Huh?"

He smirked down at me. "When we get married. We'll have to cut down our visits." His voice was light and playful. "I don't want to be molested by your Grandmother more than I have to."

"Wait a minute..." My eyes widened and my chest tightened with excitement. "What-You're...You're not implying that-...you want to marry me!? For real!?"

"Is_ that_ what it sounded like?" He asked, eyebrows slightly furrowed. But I saw past it. He was joking. His mouth was twitching.

I slapped his shoulder and he looked like he wanted to laugh. "I'm serious!"

"I am too." Ranger slid a strand of my hand behind my ear. "I love you Stephanie....but I'd still rather elope. Big weddings aren't my thing."

I ignored his joke and hugged him tightly. Happiness flooded out of every side of me, drowning out the fear, the resentment, the anger, the sadness, the anxiety. I didn't care about the masked man anymore. Or Joe or the stripper or _anything_! The only thing I cared about was Ranger and that he loved me enough to get married.

"Okay, so we're really engaged?" Excitement bubbled in my throat, coating my words. I could barely contain myself from bouncing around.

He smiled and nodded.

"Like for real_ for real_?"

Another nod.

"Like no playing, no jokes, real engagement, real marriage, the real deal."

A third nod.

"Like-"

"Yes!" He chuckled. "Yes, we're _really_ engaged to get married." He reached for my hand and toyed with the ring. "Finally."

"Finally?" I cocked my head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean '_finally_'?"

He slid it off, threw it in the air, caught it and opened his palm to reveal the engraved words on the underside. "Did you really think I'd spend this much money on a woman I didn't think I'd really marry?"

"What...."I trailed off when the obvious came to me and I gave him a look of utter disbelief."You were never going to back out."

Then he gave me a grin that looked more evil than pure. "You weren't either apparently."

"_Ricardo_!" I found the closest thing I could, which happened to be a fork and chucked it at him. He easily slid out of the way. I chucked another piece of silverware at him, frowning. "You...had.....me....worrying.....about....what...you'd.....say....for...no...reason!" After each word, I threw another item that completely missed the target. I really hoped one did hit though. Nothing serious. Maybe to the eye or the nuts. Then he'd understand how I had felt about the whole mess.

He got to me before I could find another weapon, held my arms down and moved behind me to lean down and whisper in my ear, "_Now_ can I take you up on that stripping offer?"

I felt my face flush and my body heated up while he trailed soft kisses down my neck. "Meet you in the bedroom in five minutes?"

"Make it two seconds."

Before I knew it, he scooped me up and carried me out. I mentally cracked my knuckles and prepared for the best night of my life. Not because Ranger was good in bed, _although he was_, but because we'd finally get to do this without any more interruptions, without regrets, without concerns, with utmost love.

It was just me and the man I loved. And it didn't get much better then that.

A few seconds after the bedroom door closed, I opened it, dressed only in my bra and panties, sprinted out to the living room, stared down at my beloved pets and whispered excitedly, "_I'm getting married to Ranger for real_!" I couldn't forget the two other members of our family after all. They had a right to know what was going on.

Reese opened one eye and then lazily closed it. Rex never moved. Eh, I'd let them know again when they were more active tomorrow.

"Babe!"

"Pushy much!?"

"In six more seconds, I'm doing this _with_ or_ without_ you."

"GROSS!"

"It has to be done."

I walked back to the open door, stared at him beckoning me from the bed and slipped off my last remaining undergarments. "I bet you'd have a better time with me."

"No doubt."

* * *

Good stuff? I liked this chapter, actually. ^_^ && Once again; thanks to my reviewers! You guys _RULE_.

_[story **almost** completed. Thank the Gods, aha.]_


	10. Chapter Nine

* * *

**Chapter Nine.**

* * *

I cracked my eyes opened and was instantly aware that no one was beside me. I felt for a body, found none and squinted to see what time it was. Eight fifteen. I grabbed the ring on the desk, slid it on, rolled onto my back and sighed. It wasn't an especially sad sigh. It was more on the contented side. I'm not one to brag about this sort of stuff but Ranger and I had...er....Let's just say that Batman had acquired some _skills_ from the last time we were_ together_. I know it was almost impossible to imagine him better than before but he had been.

I grinned at the memory and tried not to let his absence irritate me so much. I didn't need to worry or obsess about him because he was _mine_. Always and forever. We were getting married and we'd live together and that was that, right?

My grin faded and I sat up. I needed to stop getting so riled up about nothing. There was no doubt in my mind that Ranger had slipped out early to wake the guys up and go after Malik.

My eye twitched a bit. Malik. The crazy, 'sadistic,' maniac. I hadn't really thought about him until now and now I didn't want to. I wanted to be carefree and happy. I wanted to bask in warm sunlight, fed my pets and have Ranger hold me.

But instead I was worrying about his safety, angered about him not being here and panicking about Malik.

I threw the sheets off and went into the bathroom. I turned the water up real hot and let it roll over me. Ahh. It felt pretty good. I closed my eyes and just stood under until my skin was red and stingy. I got out; blow dried my hair and went in search of my suitcase.

I opened the closet and my eyes widened a bit. It was no longer filled with Ranger's black outfits. _Someone_ had unpacked my bags and hung up my clothes. I had a feeling that the _someone_ was Cuban and braver than me. I smiled lightly, selected an outfit and got dressed.

I slumped into the kitchen; saw Rex was up and about, eating his food. He was still moving pretty slow but he hadn't passed out again and I found that was good news. I looked down and saw that Reese's bowl was empty. Which reminded me that I needed to buy an actual cat bowl for her instead of setting down the silverware ones...

The cabinets were still stocked full of food, _Ranger wouldn't touch any of this of course_, so I got down some cereal and politely slid away Ella's plate of non-sugary foods to make way for the milk.

While I ate, I thought about what I had to do today. Two of my skips still needed capturing...Lula could help me.....I could visit-

Then I froze and sighed. I couldn't go anywhere. I was on high alert until old Malik was caught and I didn't think that disobeying Ranger's orders were in my best wishes at the moment. We were finally _officially_ together and I didn't want to mess that up.

But what did he expect me to do? Wait around all day? We both knew that wasn't me.

My phone started to ring and ducked into the bedroom, found it amidst the clothes and answered. My mom. "You do know that the rehearsal is today right?"

You see, this was the beautiful thing. Technically, I wasn't lying anymore so there was no guilt. Sure, it had_ started_ as a lie but the end justifies the means, right? So I could go along and feel great about it.

The only slightly bad thing was that I had totally tuned my mother out for half of the planning so....the rehearsal? It wasn't ringing a bell. But I still said, "Of course.....what time?"

I heard her sigh and pictured her ironing. "Six. I've told you this before. You weren't listening were you?"

"Of course I was........so what do I gotta do at the rehearsal?"

Another long sigh. Twenty minutes later, I hung up. Turns out that a rehearsal dinner was when everyone....well _rehearsed_ the actual wedding and got to know each other. I didn't really see the need of that because everyone in the burg knew the other. That was made apparent because my mom had only sent the invitations out yesterday and everyone had already responded back.

Then it occurred to me that I didn't even know _who_ she was inviting. Ranger and I hadn't been the best bride and groom. My mom, Grandma and sister had planned 99 percent of it and we just sat there nodding our heads. I smacked my forehead. Great. What if she got doves? I don't like birds.

Now we had to dress up for a rehearsal dinner. I knew Ranger would probably wear a black suit to both the wedding and the dinner and I'd have to try on my mom's dress. Oh man, what if I couldn't fit it?! Why hadn't I tried it on sooner!? We were getting married in less than a day-

My face paled. Oh crap, _we were_? Yes, we were! That was what my mother said, right!? She said the rehearsal dinner was a day before the wedding so that meant......

I began to wring my hands and pace about._ Holy smokes_. What if I hadn't have figured out my feelings for Ranger sooner? Would I have gone along? Ranger made it apparent he would have but.....Okay Steph, calm down. _We love each other, we both want to do this, it's alright_.

I flipped up my cell phone and called Ranger. He answered on the fourth ring. Hm. Very weird for him. He normally picked up on the first two or not at all. "We're getting married tomorrow." My voice was tight with excitement, worry and anxiety. I wondered if he noticed.

He didn't reply for a long moment and I thought he hung up. "That soon?"

Not really the answer I was hoping for. I kinda wanted an '_I know, I'm so excited_.' or an '_I can't wait_'. He could have even thrown me a '_Babe_'. Even those sounded better than his current tone. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yes,_ that soon_. I was shocked too when my mom told me. Looks like she planned it all out and now all we have to do is walk down the aisle. We're lazy, huh?"

My attempt at a joke didn't even get a small chuckle. His voice didn't even sound like he was smiling. "Looks like it." I heard talking in the background.

"Where are you?"

"Out."

"Well...what are you doing?" I asked, even though I already suspected his whereabouts.

There was more talking, louder this time and he told me, "I have to go." Then he hung up.

I stared at the device for a full minute, eyes narrowed; jaw clenched and tried to calm myself down. I inhaled deeply and let it out in a gush of air. I really didn't need my imaginative mind at work here so I assured myself that his curt attitude was a result of trying to find Malik. The man was trying his hardest to protect me. There was no way to get mad at him for that.

I heard a 'meow' and Reese was below me, rubbing her head against my ankle. I crouched down and petted her softly. "You think I'm over reacting, don't you? You think I shouldn't scrutinize things so much, huh?"

She blinked at me and I wondered if she considered me a bit crazy. I wouldn't blame her if she did.

"Well I took your advice." I continued, carrying her out into the living room. "I went after Ranger and now we're seriously engaged. Cool, right?" She didn't respond. "You think I made the right choice, right?" She meowed so I took that as a yes. I sat down in front of the T.V and turned it on. "So....do you think it's normal for me to worry about him? I mean...well, I don't know, he sounded pretty stressed and....angry?"

Reese stretched in my lap.

"Should I be concerned?"

No response.

"Yeah, I didn't think so either." I started to click different channels. "I hate being cooped up all day, ya know? I have things to do. Places to go, people to chase down. And I have to go back to my apartment and get more clothes. By the way, do you think I should let the building owner know that I'm leaving? I don't know if Ranger wants me to move in...." Then I waved it off. "Why, wouldn't he? He always wants me to move in, right?"

Reese closed her eyes.

"I know." I started knowingly. "I know what you're thinking but I am not obsessing anymore. Old, jealous Steph is long gone. It's just....well, there's nothing to do! I really don't want to have Ranger mad at me if I leave and Malik is still lurking around I suppose but...ugh!" I threw the remote on the couch. "So what to do?"

The feline shook her whole body in a yawn, glanced up at me and meowed.

I grinned slowly down at her. "That's exactly what I was thinking."

**********

"_Hellooooooooooooo_!"

There was a collective groan from the lot of men who sat watching the monitors. I smiled. Hangovers: the worst things ever. I went from man to man and asked them, _quite loudly_, what they were doing. I know it was evil but come on, this was a once in a lifetime experience. I don't think I'd ever be able to see them this dead again.

I noticed that Tank was gone and I flinched for him. If these guys thought they had it bad then I could only imagine what Ranger was making that big gorilla go through.

I poked my head into the break room and nearly burst into laughter when I spotted Hal, Woody and two other guys with their heads on the table, eyes closed, snoring.

I put on an evil look, tip toed over and screamed, "_Ranger's back_!" while pounding on the table.

They all shot up faster than speeding bullets and started to stumble around, crashing into each other and knocking the table over. I stared down at them with a gracious smile and as soon as they saw me, they groaned.

"Ranger won't like sleeping on the job."

"We're on break." I heard one of them mutter tiredly. They wearily got to their feet, set the table back in place and resumed their earlier positions.

"Bombshell, do us favor, huh?" Hal said, his voice muffled by his arms while he sat his head comfortably in them. "Tell your fiancé we were all up and alert and perfect, okay?"

"You want me to _lie_!?" I gasped dramatically, feigning shock as I put a hand to my open mouth.

Hal gave me an exhausted stare. "I'm sure you've done it before." Oh, he had no idea.

I grinned warmly at him. "Of course. I got your back. 100 percent." They all mumbled '_thanks_' and I nodded. "I'd just hate for him to return back to find that _someone_ broke in because his employees weren't properly working."

As soon as I uttered the last syllable, the men sighed, got up sluggishly and trekked off to get back to work while shooting me dirty looks while they walked past. I only smiled back. Was it so horrible to find entertainment from others' misery?

When it came to the Merrymen; of course.

"Who wants to hear me sing _twinkle twinkle little star_!?" I exclaimed, holding my hands out wide.

There was a chorus of groan, moans, stomping of foots against the floor, banging of fists against desks and heads against walls. I felt slightly offended. How bad of a singer did they think I was? _Sheesh_. I bet it wasn't as bad as their singing.

******

It was one o'clock and I was in the kitchen watching Rex and eating chips when I heard the door open and close. I slid off the stool, threw the bag away, wiped my hands and face and went to greet him. He was taking off his jacket when I got to him.

"Looks who's back." I smiled, my heart swelling at seeing him again. It was a wonder how his face alone could make me so happy. He didn't reply and I frowned. "You alright?"

"I didn't catch him."

He sounded tense. "Well that's okay. You always have the rest of today."

He moved past me without so much as a look and I held back my anger to follow him as he entered the kitchen. I watched him pull out a water, uncap it and down it in less than two minutes. Impressive. I'm not sure if it was all in my mind but Ranger looked thirty years older. His eyes were a bit red; his hair was a bit ruffled, his gaze was a bit more wary. I had seen him like this only one time before and that was when he was hunting down the man who had kidnapped his daughter.

"Uh...are you hungry?" I know it was a weird thing to ask but I needed to break the awkward silence. I wasn't sure what I'd do if he said he was. It wasn't like I could cook and everything I did fix was too fattening for him.

He shook his head and threw the bottle away. Hm. No recycling? "I have to leave again in a minute."

"But-you just got back." I was aware of how whiny I sounded and didn't like it.

"I know. I came back because Tank was near dead while we patrolled around so I needed to give him a break." Then he did something that made me jump. He slammed his fist against the table with enough force to shake the foundation of the entire building. _Yikes._ "I knew I shouldn't have let them get so wasted yesterday. Damn it."

Although he sounded like he was talking more to himself than me, I spoke up, "...Come on...it can't be that bad."

"A ruthless, murdered is pawning after you, Stephanie. I don't think it gets much worse than that."

Ranger wasn't looking at me while he talked. He was staring down at his fist on the table and I didn't really know how to reply. I could tell he was frustrated with the whole thing but how did he think I felt?!

"Well...the rehearsal dinner tonight will get our minds off of it." I offered weakly, smiling tight.

He finally met my gaze and I saw a flicker of apprehension. "What rehearsal dinner?" I couldn't be mad at him for not knowing. I hadn't either. I told him about what my mom said. His eyebrows twitched and he shook his head once. "No."

"No?"

"You can't go to that."

"Why not?"

"Too many people. Too open. I'll have to watch for-"

"How about you relax for a minute?" I suggested, holding up my hands. "Malik hasn't struck in over two days, right? Maybe he backed off."

"You just don't get it." Ranger looked like he might sigh. "You don't know him like I do."

"What's to know!?" I shrugged tiredly. "I mean come on Ranger, how many times have I been in danger like this before?"

He kept silent for a beat. "Too many times." _Seriously_. "And it still worries the hell out of me." Ranger stood up and brushed past me again, avoiding my eyes. "You're not going. End of story."

I opened my mouth to call out to him. To tell him he was being unreasonable, and rude and strangely distant but before I could say a word, I heard the door close shut.

********

Stupid Ranger. Thinking he could boss me around. Hmph.

I was pacing around the apartment for no real reason other than boredom. Reese was napping, Rex was running on his wheel, nothing good was on T.V and the guys downstairs had 'banned' me from talking to them until their headaches. So what the heck could I do?

Lula called me a few hours ago and I told her about the Malik Rav thing. She said 'shit', offered me a sub but I had to decline. I was still on lock down.

My mom called again to confirm that I knew when the dinner was and I told her I did and I'd be there. I also took the opportunity to learn more about what she planned. Turns out that only the family of the groom and bride should be at the rehearsal dinner but since I had told her that Ranger's mom was Jewish (and he hadn't bother to call her or remark a rebuttal...something we'd have to discuss later on), some of my friends were invited. Who? I didn't know. My mom wouldn't let me know. _You should have been listening before_ was what she said. I had no comeback.

_And_ as far as I knew, I _was_ still going to the dinner. I didn't care how nervous Ranger was, he wasn't the boss of me and that was that. Besides, so what is Malik attacked me there? There would be a bunch of witnesses and people to help take him down. Make no mistake; the burg neighborhood was not one you wanted to underestimate. Half of them were midwifes and old ladies but they could kick butt.

I could sympathize with Ranger though. Obviously, he knew more about Malik than I did and I should have been scared considering how edgy he was but...I just wasn't. I guess all those other times had really toughened me up.

So all I had to do was convince Ranger it'd be fine and drag him along.

I blew out a sigh. That'd be quite hard to do. He had been pretty abrupt and angry the last time I saw him. My mouth twitched into a frown at the memory. Ugh. What was going on with him? Yesterday, he could barely keep his hands off of me and now he barely wanted to look at me.

I kept telling myself he'd be back to normal after the masked man thing passed but...I don't know. Doubt started to ball up in my chest. What if he was....rethinking his decision? What if he didn't really want me? What if......_gulp, god forbid_....what if he had '_gotten_' what he wanted and was done with me?

I replayed these thoughts back to Reese multiple times in the last hours but she didn't really take heed to my hysteria. I sighed again, walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, peered in, closed it, opened it again, closed it and then opened the freezer. I stared into it for a beat before spotting something and pulling it out.

"Hey...when'd we get chicken?" I couldn't recall buying it. I glanced around, set it down and started to get pots and pans out of the cabinets. Ones that looked new and unused. My eyes wandered to Rex and I grabbed his cage, took him to the living room and set him on the couch. "Stay here."

Then I was on autopilot. I'm not sure what inspired me to do it but, a few minutes later, I was cooking a chicken. I put it in the pan, cranked it up and slapped my hands together. Psh, cooking wasn't that hard. Hah!

I was trying to clear my mind, I soon realized as I poked at the sizzling tenderloin with a fork, wondering when it'd be done. I disappeared from the kitchen and came back a few minutes later. On Google, it said I had to wait for the chicken to cook some more and then I could turn it.

I eyeballed it for a second and then retreated to the living room again. I watched Jay Leno for a moment, changed the channel to some reality T.V show and a yawn escaped from my mouth. My eyes got heavy and I yawned again before laying my head on the arm of the chair and taking a snooze.

I woke up in a daze, an alarm blaring in my ears, eyes watering, a tongue licking my cheek. I blinked, rubbed at my eyes and tried to figure out what was going on. Reese was on top of me, meowing and making little whiny sounds. I turned and then I saw it: smoke.

My eyes widened and I shot to my feet to sprint into the kitchen were the clouds were originating from. My chicken! Oh damn it! The alarm was still going off and I realized it was the fire alarm. I squinted past the smoke to see the flames raging around the stove, licking onto the floor and I stumbled back.

I froze for a minute, fear and shock holding me still and then I was off. I grabbed a cowering Reese, a running Rex and raced out the door. Two minutes after I exited, I saw the elevator doors come open and saw a scared looking Lester. "Hurry-" He started but I was already one step ahead. I squeezed in beside him, he hit the button and we were going down.

It was only after I made it outside to the lot and handed my pets off to Rangeman staff when I passed out.

******

"Is she up?"

"I think she's getting up."

"Are her eyes open?"

"No..."

"Well what makes you think she's getting up then?!"

"'Cause she's moving!"

"_Oh wow_. She's _twitching_. How about you go tell Ranger that? I'm sure he'd be _delighted_."

"Shut up or I'll tell him you spilled coffee on one of the monitors."

"_You wouldn't dare_!"

I opened my eyes to put faces to the words echoing painfully in my head and saw Lester and Hal glaring at each other. The broke gaze only when I groaned to glanced down at me. "Bombshell? You okay?"

I rubbed at my head and sat up slowly. "What happened?"

"You passed out." Lester told me.

"But...why..." I looked past them, saw the ambulance vans, the fire fighter trucks, the scattered Rangeman cars, men running around and realized we were in the lot. Suddenly, it all came back to me in a rush. "I burned down Ranger's house."

Hal laughed nervously. "Yeah...."

I put a hand over my face. "Does he...is he...?"

"He's inside. Which reminds me," Lester pulled out his cell phone. "He told me to call as soon as you woke up."

Oh god. I watched with a pained expression while Lester had a quick chat with Ranger which only involved the words '_she's up_' before he hung up. "He's on his way." _Oh goody_.

"Wait so...the whole apartment burned up? Or did..." I gasped and continued, "Oh my god, I didn't burn the whole building did I!? Was anyone hurt? Oh mannn......."

"Don't worry." Hal said. DON'T WORRY? Was that his advice? If it was, it _sucked_. "Just the kitchen. It didn't even spread past that. His table and stove are completely charred though. You should have seen it. _MAN_! It was pretty sw...ee....t." He drawled out the last word because Lester was raking his hand along his neck and had raised eyebrows. Universal sign for: _shut up, he's behind you_.

Hal wasn't that quick to catch it so I pointed. He turned around, froze for a minute at the sight of Ranger and let out a squeak of a chuckle. I could understand his reaction. Ranger looked menacing in the daylight as much as the dark.

Lester shoved him in his ribs and they power walked away. I could hear them arguing. Particularly, I heard Lester mutter, "Nice job,_ jackass_."

I gave Ranger a shaky smile but he didn't return it. He didn't even offer to help me up so I got to my feet by myself. He continued to stare at me until I said, "Uh...I'm sorry about the-"

"You burned down my kitchen." He sounded awed. "No one has ever burnt down my kitchen. You don't even know how to cook."

"I wanted to try."

"Fabulous job, by the way."

I scowled at his tone. "Well...I just needed to get my mind off of things, okay? While you're out hunting the Joker, I'm stuck inside. Do you know how crazy that's making me?"

Ranger's eyebrows raised a fraction. "The joker?"

"Batman's arch enemy."

"I know who he is."

I finally dared a look at the building and didn't see any smoke billowing from it. Nice. I watched people mill in and out of it. "So...no one was hurt?" I confirmed.

"Not unless you count my stove."

"Thanks for your concern." I stated dryly. "Besides, you never used it."

"Now, I can't. You burnt it."

I put a hand to my eye to stop the twitching that was sure to come. "I'm _fine_ by the way."

"Great." He sounded indifferent.

I knew I wasn't hallucinating now. Ranger wasn't acting like himself. I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists. "What's your problem?"

"My problem?" I watched him turn away and put hands on hips. "_My problem_ at the moment is that I have a woman living with me who adopts cats and burns down my kitchen but for, some reason, I'm trying to save her from a madman. Crazy, right?"

There was no amusement in his voice, no infliction that told me he was joking so I covered up how I hurt I was by his words with an angry frown. "I'm sorry I'm such a _hassle_." I spat, turning on my heel. "I'll just leave and you do whatever the hell you want to."

"Stephanie....." His slight pleading voice didn't stop me from walking away from him. "Steph!"

I didn't turn around and I didn't hear him call me anymore. I keep walking, hoped I'd hear his footsteps behind me but didn't. I ended up beside a tired looking Tank who was leaning on a car. I sidled up to him. "Where's Reese?"

He blinked at me. "Uh....I put her and Rex at my house. I guessed you didn't want her around the ashes and stuff. But don't worry; my cats will love her-"

"Give me the car keys."

"Huh?"

"To the car." I ground out through my teeth, eyes blazing. "Give me the car keys to the car. Any car."

"I don't think Ranger...."

"I don't care what Ranger thinks." He looked torn so I relented and my angry facade fell and I gave him a sorrow look. "Look, I just need some space. Can you at least drive me? I really need this." He still looked unsure so I added, "And if Ranger asks me who gave me a car, I'll say I tasered you and took it."

"I don't think so-"

"Or I'll_ taser_ you for real and take it myself. _Your call_."

Tank shook his head, as if he knew this would turn out horrible and blew out a, "Fine."

*********

I'm not alcohol tolerate at all. One beer alone can make me tipsy. So you could only imagine what I looked like after fifteen shots.

I'm not sure how many hours had passed. I'm not even sure how I managed to direct Tank to a bar but I had. And _fifteen_ shots later, I was drunk as a skunk in a runk on a trunk. Haha!

At the moment, I was spilling my guts out to Tank. But not literary, figuratively. He was sitting beside me on the stool and through my haze of drunken stupor, I could see his face. He was either really, really, really amused or really, really, really aggravated. I couldn't tell.

"...So then Ranger says he wants to marry me. For real, _for real_!" I giggled idiotically and took another shot. "Ah! Yeah okay so anyway.....wow, you have big arms....but no! Seriously...he tells me this and I'm like '_REALLY?_' You know 'cause I never thought he wanted to be in a relationship let alone a long term one, ya know!?" I shrieked in my slurring, elbowing him. He nodded but didn't respond. "And then we..." I stared to fan myself. "Whew....well he picks me up, lays me on the bed, ribs off my clothes and takes his big-"

"_AH-AH_!" Tank exclaimed with wide eyes, waving his hands. "Too much info!"

I laughed stupidly, spitting up some up my beer and banged my fists against the table. I faintly heard the bartender ask Tank if '_the little lady_' was okay and he answered with something incoherent I couldn't hear. I looked around for the little lady, wondering who she was and if Tank had a girlfriend. I sputtered up more giggles from that idea. HAHA!

But I couldn't see much through my slanted, glazed eyes but distorted bodies. I cracked up some more and spun back towards Tank. "Where was I!?" I screamed out, twirled in my seat and then blinked. "Oh hey that was fun." Then I commenced to spinning around over and over again.

A few seconds later...or maybe a few minutes...or hours, I don't know! I looked up to see not only Tank staring down at me but Lester, Hal and Woody. I smiled up at them. "Hey!" I hiccuped. "Welcome to the _par-tay_!"

They all exchanged looks I couldn't decipher and a hand was suddenly wrapped around my wrist. "Come on Bombshell, time to go."

"Pshh!" I smacked whoever's hand away. "NO! I'm still...having fun..._hahaahaha_."

"She's wasted." Sounded like Lester?

"I know. You guys have to help me get her home." Big strong Tanky...

"Well how are we going to do that?" Not sure who said that.

"I've got an idea!" A very excited Woody exclaimed.

"What?"

"Lets taser her."

There was silence and I started to laugh hysterically. _Hahaa, taser me_! _I really loved these guys...almost as much as cake. Hmmm, cake!_ "You know what else Ranger does? He tries to control me!" I screeched, muttering angrily to myself. "Jerk."

They all looked at me for a beat before the recent conversation started back up.

"I'm not tasering Ranger's fiancé." Lester that time. _He kinda looked like a monkey. BWAHA! Monkey Lester_!

"Why not!?"

"Because she's _RANGER'S FIANCE_!"

"Do you want to get her home or _not_?" Tank growled.

"It's your fault anyway! You shouldn't have brought her here in the first place, are you crazy!?" Lester again.

Hal finally spoke up and his mouth reminded me of cheesecake. _HAAHA! CHEESECAKE MOUTH_! "HEY! All of you just shut up and help me drag her home before Ranger kicks all of our asses."

Then I was flying. I closed my eyes and spread out my arms eagle- style. Ahh, this felt nice. Flying away from all my problems and troubles. I just wondered how I'd learn to fly. Maybe I was half bird.

"Why did she close her eyes and spread her arms out like a bird?"

"I don't know man but hurry up. My arms are aching already. Jeez, she's heavy."

********

I groaned before I even opened my eyes. I rubbed at my throbbing head and sat up slowly. I smelt a horrible, barbecue-like stench in my nose and pain pounding through my skull. Not the best way to wake up.

"You don't look so good."

I turned to see a dark figure a few feet away. I squinted my eyes and watched it walk towards me. Ranger. "Where am I?"

"On the couch."

I glanced down and sure enough, that was where I was. "But...how'd I get here? What time is it? What's going on?" My memory was close to nonexistent past two years ago.

"You burnt my kitchen, went off drinking against my orders of you staying inside and Tank brought you here. It's only five ten."

I flinched as the memories came crashing back to mind with painful clarity. "Oh man..."

I heard a clink and looked to see that Ranger had placed a cut of water and a pill on the table before me. "It'll dull the headache." I took it without complaint and sighed after wards, leaning backwards.

"So." I said after a beat of silence.

Ranger took a seat beside me but I noticed that he didn't sit very close. I probably looked like a mess. I sighed.

"So?" I said again, eyebrows raising.

His eyes were forward. "I'm trying to figure out which words will best summarize how I feel." I waited and he continued a minute later, "You need to grow up."

To say I was surprised was an understatement. My eyebrows shot up, my mouth came open and I gave him my best look of angry disbelief. "Excuse me? Run that by me again?"

"I tell you not to leave, you do it anyway. I'm trying my hardest, _my hardest_, to keep my cool but you aren't making it any easier." He turned to meet my gaze but his eyes were guarded. "You were an easy target in that bar. He could have picked you off without a second thought and I don't think you understand just how serious this is."

"First off, I'm _sick_ and tired of you bossing me around." I started, standing up. "And okay, so what if he _could_ have picked me off? The point is; he didn't. Besides, Tank was with me. He-"

"And what if Tank hadn't been? Then what?"

"_But he was_!" I crossed my arms and glared down at him. "Ranger, do you want to know why I went to that bar?"

"I can hardly wait." He stared at me with furious eyes.

"That's exactly why." I smiled wryly. "I don't know what happened between tomorrow night and today but you've been...acting different. And it's getting on my nerves. I can understand that you're worried about me but don't take your anger out on me. You barely showed an inkling of concern about my health after the fire."

"Stephanie," Ranger stood up to tower over me and I had to look up. "Do_ you_ want to know why I've been acting like that?"

I stayed silent but kept my face looking annoyed.

"Because," He started with a clenched jaw then gradually softened to an almost weary look. "Because...I'm...disappointed....in..myself."

My face fell into a surprised look at his tone and confession. Wow. "..Why?"

"...I want to catch this guy but...I just _can't_ and it's driving me insane that I can't protect...you. That you're in this situation _because_ of me and I can't help more."

The physic's words from nights ago echoed through my mind: _You like the idea of others considering you as the strong one. They see you as a protector, as the rock they need. Some might even think of you as a superhero. _Of course. Typical Ranger. Wanting to be my hero. I wrapped my arms around him and his eyes widened a bit before he reacted and hugged me back. "It's alright. You're doing the best you can and I love you for it." I told him softly. "You're going to get him, we're going to get married and then we're going to live happily ever after okay?"

I heard his chuckle vibrate through my ear while he stroked my hair. "If only."

We stood like that for a minute until an idea shone through my mind. It was abrupt, risky and sounded nice in my mind so I exclaimed excitedly, pushing gently away from him, "I got an idea!"

His eyebrows rose.

"Bait!" I grinned. "I can be used as bait! Malik will come after me and then you guys snag him!" Even though I was pretty sure we tried this before in the past, I was almost desperately confident it'd work this time. I _needed_ it to work. I wanted my old Ranger back. I wanted to get married without looking over my shoulder. I wanted to get out of this apartment!

Ranger's answer was cold and definite, "No."

"_Come on_!" I frowned, putting hands on hips. "Think about it: you set up all the security you need, _anybody you want_, put a man behind every corner, I lure him out, he comes, and then you shoot him!"

"Oh so now you're okay with me shooting him?"

I waved it off. "As if you'd listen if I told you not to." I saw him smile. "So, is it a good plan?"

"No." He replied instantly. "It's a dumb, impulsive, high risk plan. Anything could happen that fucks it up. And _your life_ is on the line."

"Well, my life is on the line _now_! I'm telling you Ranger, this is the best plan we have at the moment." I told him sternly. He set his jaw and narrowed his eyes but I saw behind it: he was tapping his foot, he was slowly caving.

"I can call in all the security I want?"

I nodded excitedly.

"And you'll_ LISTEN_ to everything I say?"

"Yep!"

"And you'll wear a flak vest, carry a gun, have your phone on, put on a voice transmitter, h-"

"Yes, yes!" I rolled my eyes. He grabbed me and crushed me to his chest.

"I don't like it. _At all_.........but you're right. It's a good plan." He kissed my forehead. "But I'll take your spot. I wouldn't risk your well being when it's _me_ he wants."

I shook my head and welcomed the warmth of his body. "No way. He won't fall for it. You're not sloppy or clumsy. He'll suspect fowl play if you go off alone." I heard him sigh in my ear and kissed him softly on the lips. "Don't worry. It'll be fine."

"You can't guarantee that."

He was right. So, in a sad attempt to cheer up the atmosphere, I poked him on the chest. "Yeah well if I get shot, I'll personally blame it all on you."

Ranger gave me a full on smile. "And what exactly will be the setting for Plan Bait?"

I bit my lip, looked down and started to toy with my fingers. "Well...you know, I was thinking at the rehearsal dinner..hehe."

There was a beat of silence. I didn't want to lure a maniac to my parent's house, we both knew that. So the obvious must have came to his mind.

"Babe, did you just trick me into going to a rehearsal dinner by using my own emotions against me?"

I smiled. "I figured we could go and then we could start Plan Bait a_fter_ we left."

His mouth twitched and he tugged softly at my hair. "You owe me. A lot."

"For dragging you to your own rehearsal dinner!?"

"No. For toying with my determination. You hurt my pride." He tried to feign a look of hurt but it just didn't pull through as real. I rolled my eyes and my eyes widened when I felt his hand slip underneath my shirt. Before I could react, he covered my mouth with his own and I was moaning before I knew it.

He broke away to unhook my bra. "Where are Reese and Rex?"

Oh shit, I almost forgot about them. "I think Tank still has them."

"Good." He lifted me up, headed towards the bedroom and sat me down gently, unbuttoning my jeans. "How much time do we got before the dinner?"

My pleasure glazed eyes turned towards the clock. "Ten minutes."

"Perfect." Ranger smirked, his tall frame sending massive shadows down my half naked body. "That's nine more than I need."

* * *

Okay...first off, wow, this chapter was typed out so much more differently than what I had planned in my noggin. For that; I am sorry. It wasn't suppose to end here but I didn't want a super long, deluxe chapter. So...there's only about two more chapters left, whoop!

And of course I'll mention my beloved reviewers. I love all your feedback and glad you like the story! (Deja Vu?) :)

&& As for my smut-fiends (kidding haha), I hadn't planned to slide any in but I might change my mind ^_~ Either way, hope you liked and brace yourself for the next chappie! Lots of....angst-like-humor-like-drama? Bah, you'll see! Any more questions? Let me know!

Toodles!


	11. Chapter Ten

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

* * *

"You know, if you would have listened to me in the first place then we wouldn't be running late!"

I didn't hear a reply and sighed. Ranger was in the bathroom and I assumed he was _still_ getting ready. I was already dressed in an elegant dress that Ella had given me. It was cranberry red, with a low, lacy V-neck and it fit my form quite nicely, ending right above my knees. Even though it was only temporary until I had to try on my dress, I liked it. Not too modest, not too flashy and it actually accented my curves.

Unfortunately, it accented them _too_ well because when Ranger saw me in it, he instantly slid it off. Now, not only were we running behind by at least a half of hour, Ranger was calling in security. He said he wasn't taking any chances and that there'd be a man at every corner around my parents' house.

"Ranger! Come on, you're already pretty enough! Let's hurry it up!" I banged on the door for effect. "What is taking you-?"

The door swung open and my intended words were stuck in my throat at the site before me.

"_Pretty_ enough?"

I ignored his sarcastic tone and gaped. I have only seen Ranger in suits on special occasions when I was in the right place at the wrong time, mostly. He wore them when he went into meetings but other then that, I never see him in one. So I consider my reaction justified. I mean, he was_ sexier _in a suit than one man should have been.

It was very expensive looking. I'm guessing Armani, maybe Brioni. Definitely fitted, sleek, smooth, black and probably over a thousand or two dollars. Typical Ranger. He never did anything half way. He went the full mile on everything. The suit seemed to heighten the aura of danger about him.

I mentally cracked my knuckles. "How much time do we have?"

"We're almost an hour behind."

"That's enough time. Get naked."

Ranger's mouth twitched and he shook his head. "I'm all for it. How about we just skip the whole thing and stay in?"

_Such a tempting offer_! I blew out a sigh because I knew I'd never accept. If I missed this, my mom would have a fit. She had already called earlier on while Ranger and I had been....uh..._preoccupied_...and I lied and told her our car had a flat._ I know. I know._ I was trying hard to stop my habit of telling fibs. I swear, after this whole mess was over and everything was okay again, I'd never lie again in my _life_. Or, at least, not as much.

"Let's go." I said flatly, leading the way out, my purse thrown around my shoulder. Ranger was behind me, picking up his keys and reaching for his gun.

My eyes widened. Wait a minute....his gun!? "You're not bringing that thing are you?!"

"Of course I am."

"You can't!"

"Babe, I never leave without a gun."

"You cannot bring a gun to our rehearsal dinner!" _Unbelievable_. He was such a..._man_.

Ranger gave me a slight raise of his eyebrows. "Why not?"

"You might accidentally shoot somebody."

"I'll put it on safety."

"_NO_! No guns!" He stared at me and I glared back, hands on hips. "I'm serious, Ricardo. I want to go one night without a weapon around. Is that so much to ask?"

"You _must_ be serious. You called me by my first name." He pulled out his drawer and sat it inside, closing and locking it after wards. Yes, Ranger had locks on his _dresser drawers_. "Whatever you wish."

I smiled warmly. "That sounds like I'm in charge of this relationship. _Cool_. "He sent me a look that could have counted for one of amusement and we were off out the door, down the elevator and into the ground level that held the parking lot.

When we stepped out, I froze and my mouth came open.

A dozen or so pair of eyes stared back at us. Merrymen. I furrowed my eyebrows and shot Ranger a questioning look. "What's going on?" I asked slowly.

Ranger smiled lightly. "This is security."

"_All of them!?_"

He gave me a side ways glance. "You said I could call in as much as I wanted."

_Yes, when we actually START Plan Bait_! There had to be at least fifty plus men here. They were all dressed in Rangeman black, had those little army lines under their eyes, wore dark knit caps and were the very _last_ people you'd want to meet in an alley. Night or day. They did a group finger wave. "You're such a paranoid man."

"You call it paranoia. I call it being covered."

"Well _I_ think you're just insane." A voice said from the right of us. A strangely familiar voice. I turned and nearly fainted at the site of Morelli, arms folded across his chest, a big shit eating grin on his face. He was dressed in a suit with a white shirt underneath and sneakers. His hair was freshly cut, his face was freshly shaved and he looked much better from the last time I had seen him. And happier.

"What the_ hell_ are you doing here!?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

Morelli walked up beside Ranger and that was when I noticed it. Ranger was smirking. I glanced from man to man and blinked. "I'm missing something here."

Joe nodded towards Ranger. "Your hubby called me."

_WHAT!?_ I gave the dark skinned man a look of total disbelief. His shoulders lifted a fraction. Ranger shrug. "You said I could call in _whomever_ I wanted." Was his repeated reply.

"But _Morelli_!?"

"He's a good cop. I told him about Malik and he agreed to help. He has some of the best police force patrolling around. There's no way Malik is getting anywhere near your parents house."

"There's no way he's getting anywhere_ around_ Trenton, for that matter." Morelli added in. "This guy will be caught in no time."

"I thought you said you didn't want to work with the police?" I was still dumbstruck. Were Morelli and Ranger TEAMED up? Too bizarre!

"I changed my mind." Ranger told me stoically.

_Apparently_. "_But Morelli!?_"

"I'm offended." Morelli feigned sadness. "I'm standing right here, ya know."

I blinked at him. "So let me get this straight: You two are friends now?" I asked, pointing at each of them.

It was unreal. At one point in my life, I had loved both of these men. And although I still loved Morelli as a close friend, I was _in love_ with Ranger so I expected fireworks. I expected a big, blown out battle between them if they ever saw each other again. I expected a lot of talk of my love and my honor and, in the end; Ranger would win the bout by throwing Morelli off a cliff and bellowing while pounding his own chest.

Yeah I know. I watched a lot of movies with sexy, barbarians.

But seeing them standing side by side without punching each other's brains out? _Wouldn't believe it if I wasn't staring at it right now_!

"No." They both answered in unison.

"We're partners for the time being." Ranger explained. "We're working towards a common goal: to keep you safe and get Malik off the streets."

"But after that," Morelli put in, rocking back on his heels. "We'll go right back to being enemies and fighting over your love."

"Even though everyone knows I'll win."

"Can't blame a man for trying."

I was baffled. I was speechless. I was....shit, I was_ flattered_. They were putting their differences aside to help _me_. "Wow." Was all I could come up with to say.

Ranger smiled, leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips. "Take your time. I know it's hard to digest. I have to give the men their orders. Tell me when you're ready to go." I watched him head off towards the Merrymen and didn't know I was smiling until my cheeks started to ache.

"What I would give to have you smile at _me _like that."

I glanced at Morelli, laughed and gave him a hug. I figured he deserved that at least, right? I mean, it wasn't like I hated his guts. Morelli had been a large part of my life. And even if he wasn't anymore, I wanted to remain friends. "I'm proud of you."

"For what?"

"For helping." I tugged at his suit. "What's with this get up?"

"Your mom invited me to the rehearsal dinner _and_ the wedding." We both smiled at that. My mom obviously didn't let the fact that he was my ex-boyfriend get in the way of invitations. He shrugged. "I wasn't going to come at first but then my Grandma Bella got one too and I decided to go just to piss her off."

I gulped. "She isn't going is she?" Morelli's Grandma Bella was hell incarnate. She hated me, hated the idea of me with Morelli and had an evil eye that could put curses on people. I don't know what had possessed my mom to invite _her_. I was more than certain that the older woman wouldn't be too pleased at me dumping her son to marry someone else even if she didn't like me.

"Nah." He grinned wide. "Why, did you want her to tag along?"

"Hell no!"

Morelli laughed and his eyes traveled over to Ranger who was dismissing the Rangeman crew. He waited a beat before saying, quietly, "He really loves you."

I didn't reply immediately. "I know."

"I don't think_ I_ would have consulted a man who was still in love with my fiancé and hated my guts to assist on something like this."

"Joe-" I started in a sigh. I didn't want to do this right now. Why couldn't he just leave it be and move on?

"Yeah, I know." He cut me off, looked down into my eyes and the corners of his mouth curved upwards slightly. "Believe it or not Steph, I'm not here to fight or tell you how bad Ranger is for you." He paused. "He really does love you. A lot. I've just started to notice it. And although it tears me apart inside to see you with him......" He ruffled my hair. Playfully. Friendly. "I just want to see you happy. And Ranger makes you happy."

I felt my eyes burn. "He does."

"And you love him."

"I do."

Morelli sighed and rolled his eyes. "_Fuck_. Then I guess you can go on and marry him."

I laughed and shoved him playfully in the shoulder. He smiled and shoved me back. "As if I need your permission." I said dramatically, putting a hand on my forehead. He smiled again, bent down and kissed my nose.

"As if you need my permission." He repeated softly, staring at me with a fond look in his eyes. Then he walked away and I watched him get into his car and drive off along with the rest of the Merrymen who were heading off. Their car lights brightened up the darkened garage with their beams and then slowly disappeared, leaving it in darkness once more.

"You okay?"

Ranger was behind me. I couldn't see his face but his voice sounded concerned.

I thought about his question. Was I okay? _No way_. No where close to it. "I'm_ better_ than okay." I replied, grinning stupidly. "I'm ecstatic."

"What for?" He teased, a smile in his tone.

"'Cause I'm marrying Ricardo Manoso tomorrow. _I'm_ going to be Mrs. Manoso." I felt his arms wrap around me and he pulled me into his chest. "Bombshell falls in love with Batman."

"Batman's a lucky bastard."

"Bombshell's a fortunate klutz."

************

"Rock?"

"No."

"Metal?"

"No."

"R&B?"

"No."

I sighed, sat back and folded my arms across my chest. It was one thing to drive in silence but it was another to drive to the words of Tupac while he rapped about killing '_hoes_'. Only one of the things Ranger and I disagreed on: Music. I enjoyed Pink; he liked to drive around listening to 50 Cent. Honestly, I wouldn't have pegged him for a man who liked rap but then again, was it so surprising? I figured every guy secretly liked it because they could relate....right?

"_Come on_!" I whined. "Can we listen to Country?"

"_Hell_ no."

"Why not!? I need music that doesn't contain a thousand swear words and bleeped out sentences."

"I'm not listening to a man sing about how he fucked his cousin." Ranger told me, eyes forward. "It's either Rap or silence. I didn't bring my _gun_ for you. The least you could do is let me choose the station."

"Whatever." I muttered, turning to stare out the window. We opted for silence. It shouldn't have been too long until we reached my parents house anyway.

Two seconds passed until I exploded. I hated the quiet. "So, are you as excited as I am about getting married?"

"Probably not."

I frowned. "_Haha_. Very funny." I saw his mouth twitch into a smirk. "You know, if you keep up this attitude, I might change my mind and decide not to marry you." I teased, sticking out my tongue.

"But we can still go on the honeymoon, right?"

"Men!" I groaned, throwing up my hands. I was just about to give up on him and remain quiet through the rest of the ride until I felt his hand wrap around mines. I turned to see that he hadn't taken his eyes off the road.

"I know we have our differences." He started gently. "Like for instance, you like women singers who are named after colors." I hit him and he laughed. "And yes, you're a danger magnet, you can't cook, you can't keep a car for more than a month, you're a target for homicidal men, you get jealous quickly, you take in stray animals, you're stubborn as hell, you can't tolerate alcohol, you're horrible at your job, you drive me insane-"

"Oh Ranger, don't be such a _sweetheart_." I interrupted flatly.

"_But_," He continued, tightening his grip a bit to gain my attention. "Stephanie Plum, there's nothing else I'd rather do then watch you walk down that aisle tomorrow, say 'I do' and claim you as mine." His brown eyes flittered to mines for just a moment and he held my gaze. "But even then, I still won't believe that such an amazing, breathtakingly beautiful woman, such as yourself, settled down with me. Babe, I love you so much, it hurts. And, the crazy thing is, I like it."

Oh my God.

I felt the tears roll down my cheeks and I put my free hand over my mouth as a sob hitched in my throat. No one, _not one man in my life_, had ever said something so lovely to me. I couldn't form a sentence to reply back, I was so touched. I stared at him and he smiled. I wiped at my eyes and smiled back, my heart swelling with love. This was how easy it should be, I realized. How great you should feel. How complete you should be.

This was true love.

I opened my mouth to finally speak, to tell Ricardo that he had my heart and that I loved him too but I froze when I noticed something. My eyes slowly moved to stare out the window and when I realized what it was, cold fear constricted my chest.

There were car lights, painfully bright, heading in our direction.

Ranger must have noticed my expression because he turned to look but it was already too late.

Seconds later, there was a thunderous explosion while the car collided with Ranger's dark Porsche.

The force snapped my neck back and I felt pain spread through my head. My vision was suddenly spinning and I realized that the car had flipped over and was spiraling out of control. I heard a screeching sound, felt glass pierce into my skin and was thrown forward to collide with something hard and jagged.

When the car finally became stationary again, black spots were scattering around the corner of my eyes and pain was emitting from every bone in my body. I let my head drop lifelessly onto something cold and the very last thing I saw before a cloak of shadow engulfed me was the blurry, bloodied image of Ranger with his leg bent at an unnatural angle and his eyes closed.

Then everything went black and I was gone.

************

_Pain_.

I could feel it. It was everywhere. Pulsating through my head, vibrating in my arms, pumping in my legs. _Ugh_. I felt like a Muhammad Ali's punching bag. I opened my eyes slowly, blinking them rapidly to clear my blurred vision and found myself staring at a nothing but darkness.

Where was I?

I tried to raise my arms but realized that I couldn't move them. I glanced down to see that I was sitting in a chair. My hands were tied up behind the back of it and my ankles were tied to each leg of the chair by rope. Cuts covered my exposed skin and I could feel blood running down my face. Half of my dress was ripped, revealing my thighs and apart of my underwear, one strap was missing and there was a flap of the fabric hanging from the V-neck.

Images sparked through my mind; _Ranger telling me he loved me, the lights heading toward us, the car flipping, blurry vision_.

"_Stephanie Plum_. How _very_ nice to meet you."

I looked frantically, searching through the darkness, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from.

"I must say, you're stronger than I thought. Why, you've gotten up before Ranger. What a surprise."

A light suddenly flickered on and I sucked in a breath at the site before me.

"Does he look _handsome_ to you right now, Stephanie?"

A sob hitched in my throat and I felt my eyes start to water. Ranger was sitting in front of me, a few feet away, facing me with his eyes closed and his head hung forward a bit. He was tied up the same way I was except for the single rope circled around his neck. I didn't have to look up to know what it was meant for.

His chest was bare and bruised and I could see a bone jutting out of his right leg. I felt bile rise in my throat and closed my eyes tight, clenching my teeth.

"Don't you dare close your eyes now, Stephanie!" Shrieked the voice of an unknown origin. "The fun's only just beginning!"

I heard footsteps and shakily looked up to put a face to the crazy voice. I saw a tall, muscular man. He had lots of curly dark hair, freckles and was wearing a white, dirty wife beater with jeans. His teeth were showing in the freakiest smile I had ever seen. He was standing a few feet away from us and I took the time to analyze my whereabouts.

We were in a small room, made of...cement tiles, it looked like. It was cold and damp and there were no windows. There were steps to the back leading up to a door and the only light came from the dangling overhead lamp. The lamp that had a rope thrown around it with a long piece dangling off the other side.

And besides the chairs, there was no other furniture.

"It took me a while." The crazy eyed man was talking, walking towards me slowly. "To figure out what I'd do to the both of you. At first, I was going to burn you. Alive. But that seemed too quick. I didn't want to kill you guys fast. That would have been an unfulfilling ending after all the effort I put into finding you."

I watched him pace about while I glared at him, my chest heaving up and down. My heart was racing, my blood was boiling and I didn't know what to do. All I could think about was the rope around Ranger's neck.

"Then I thought about drowning you." He continued casually. "That'd be slow right? Holding you under the water. Yet it just didn't please me."

My breathing sped up.

"So I opted for physical torture. You know, kind of like Saw. Except well...except I won't be giving you a chance to escape." Then he started to laugh. A high pitched, cackling laugh that sent goose bumps down my spine.

I glanced at Ranger, at his seemingly lifeless form, swallowed my fear and strained out, "You're Malik."

He cocked his head to the side as if he was shocked and stared at me for a while. "Ranger told you about me."

I nodded. "He told me you were after me to get to him."

Malik grinned that unearthly grin again. "I swore I'd get him back. I told him I'd be back to ruin his life just like he ruined mines. I didn't deserve to go to jail. I had my whole life ahead of me. All I had left was one more job...one more payoff and I would have been gone with money out the ass but _no_. Ranger had to step in. _Smooth_,_ 'bounty hunter_',_ Ranger_." His eye twitched maniacally.

"You don't have to do this." I rambled pathetically. "You can get help."

His face suddenly went blank and I thought I'd lose him until he said, "I don't need help. I need vengeance."

"_Please_. Please, just don't hurt him. You can have me. You can do anything to me. You can kill me, I don't care. Just _please_..." I sounded hoarse, weak and my voice was trembling. Not exactly what I had wanted to sound like but at least I was speaking. At least he wasn't focused on Ranger. I needed to keep his eyes on me. I needed his full attention.

The plan backfired quickly. Malik's eyes flashed and his hands balled into fists. I watched as his body started to tremble. "I. DON'T. WANT. YOU!" He screamed, spit flying from his mouth. "I WANT _REVENGE_." He raced off, running up the stairs and slamming the door open. I watched him disappear out.

There was no way to know what would happen when he returned. Ranger had been right. He was insane and we needed to get out of here fast. I struggled at my bindings but to no avail. My limbs were still yelling out in pain and I groaned every time I moved. I swiveled back to Ranger but he was showing no signs of awakening.

_I have to get us out of here. _Because no one else would get us out of here. All of Ranger's men, Morelli, the Trenton cops and probably the rest of the city were at my mother's rehearsal dinner. No one was coming for us because no one knew we were here.

That realization made my desperation escalate._ I really had to get us out of here._

But how? I tried to scoot my chair forward but froze when I heard running footsteps. Malik came stumbling down the stairs, eyes wide. He had a large, red jug in one hand and a long, thick stick in the other.

"Watch." He whispered fiercely. "_Watch my revenge_."

I could only do so while he halted before Ranger's sitting form. He set the stick down, opened the jug and raised it. My eyes caught site of the wording on it and I realized what it was.

Gasoline.

Malik splashed the liquid on him repeatedly, screaming over and over again for him to get up. Panic clouded my brain and when I tried to yell at him to stop, no sound came out.

Ranger's eyelids suddenly came open and he shook his head. I saw him take in his surroundings, stare up at Malik and then lock his eyes on me. I'm not sure if it was the pounding in my head but I swear I saw his eyes widen tremendously.

"Welcome to the _party_." Malik smirked, stepping back. Ranger didn't respond back. He just kept his eyes on me. I could only guess what he was thinking but if I had to, I'd say he was thinking of a rapid fire way to get me out of this. "I was just explaining to your fiancé about our _history_ together. I'm flattered you told her about us."

Ranger's eyes slowly turned to stare at Malik. His face was emotionless. Classic Ranger. If my leg was broken with a bone sticking out, I'd be bawling my eyes out. He was totally plase.

I sniffed and tried to hold back my tears. _This was all my fault. If I hadn't have dragged him to the dinner. Oh God..._

"You didn't think I'd get you back, did you?" Malik was saying. "You thought my threats were all hollow. Well man, _WERE YOU EVER WRONG!?_"

Ranger said nothing.

"Not so tough now, huh!? What's the matter? Cat got ya tongue? "Malik giggled and sprinkled him with more gas."I wish to _GOD_ I could light a match and burn your ass but I promised Stephanie she could watch my revenge. _All of it_."

He dropped the jug and I watched him lift up the stick. Me eyes widened. "Stop! Don't!" I screamed, struggling against the ropes.

Neither man looked at me or acknowledged my cries of protest. I saw Malik's mouth gradually curl into a smirk while he raised the stick up above his head. "Anything you'd like to say?"

Ranger stared for a beat and the replied, quite calmly with, "Try not to scar the face."

_CRACK_.

The wooden stick slammed into Ranger's chest full force. I heard a bone break, saw his face crumple in pain and my vision stared to waver.

_CRACK_.

Malik cackled in laughter, whacking him in the arm. There was another resounding bone breaking and this time Ranger grunted. Time seemed to stop. My heart was going a mile a minute, tears streaked down my face and I almost toppled onto the floor at my attempt to get free.

_CRACK_.

Another to the other arm. Malik laughed, shrieking out words, incoherently.

_CRACK_.

One to the good leg. By then my voice was hoarse from screaming at him to stop.

_CRACK_.

One to the bad one. After that, I heard something I've never heard before and something I wish I hadn't had to: Ranger's pained bellow as he closed his eyes tight and exhaled sharply.

Finally, Malik stopped. He was doubled over, one end of the stick on the ground, breathing heavily. Blood dripped down the brown wood and I dared a look at Ranger's battered form. Intense pain tore through my chest at the sight of there with bruises and blood and....

Something cracked. And it wasn't one of Ranger's bones again. It was my sanity and self control I figured._ Nobody fucked with my Batman_. "Hey, asshole."

Both men turned to me, confusion on their faces. I kept my glare on Malik and pushed pack all my fear, panic and pain. "How about drop that stick and fight like a man?"

Malik paused and then he started to giggle. I could see Ranger's wide eyes and the shaking of his head. He wanted me to shut up. _TOO DAMN BAD_. "Show me what you're made of, _Malik_."

"You asked for it."

I sure the fuck did.

It was only after he came to a stop before me was when all my bravado ran out. Cold fear took over and I was left trembling under his fierce gaze. He raised his fist and then smirked. "Are you watching, Ranger? I'm about to beat your girl to death and then hang you by your dumb little neck and _set you on fire_! No one will know it was me. They'd see it as man going after his ex-fiancé because she called it off. Then, filled with so much guilt, the man commits suicide."

Ranger didn't reply and I couldn't see his face past Malik's lurking form. I braced when Malik's fist came towards me.

It made it to mere inches from me until he suddenly froze. I watched with furrowed eyebrows as his eyes bulged, a squeak pushed out of his mouth and he fell onto the floor. There was a knife sticking out of his back. He was...he was dead.

I glanced up to see Ranger sitting askew on the chair. His legs were still tied down but his right arm was lying limp in his lap. He had managed to get his arms free.

He blinked tiredly at me. "I sneaked in a knife." He strained out, lifting up his pants leg to reveal the casing for the weapon strapped around his calf. "Now do you see why I carry guns?"

I tried to laugh at his light joke but it came out as a splutter when I burst into tears.

"Damn it, you can't cry now." Ranger tried to chuckle but he only groaned at the effort. "Not when I can't get over to you and comfort you."

"I-You-Me-I'm sorry-He-I-Hurt-My fault-I-" I gave up on trying to speak and just kept on crying. I wasn't even sure _why_ I was crying. Maybe it was hormones or the fact that I had almost been beaten to death. Maybe it was having to watch Ranger getting hit brutally with a stick or getting into a car crash. I don't know. I just felt drained and tired and sick and I wanted to roll into bed and never wake up.

"Stephanie, I know you must feel horrible right now but I need you to try and get free. I can barely move on my leg."

I sniffed and swallowed hard. I looked down at the knife in Malik's back.

"Can you try to get that and cut yourself free, Babe?"

I nodded numbly and commenced to turning my chair around to reach for it with my roped hands.

"Ranger?" I managed to get out through my dry throat.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"If I hadn't have convinced you-"

"You have nothing to be sorry about." He repeated more sternly. I bit my lip, stretched my hand out farther and felt the handle of the blade graze my finger. I was getting closer.

"Ranger?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I finally got a good grasp on the knife, pulled it out of his skin and would have thrown up if Ranger hadn't been talking to me and telling me what our lives would be like after we got married. I knew that he was trying to keep my mind off of the situation we were in and what could have happened. So I listened to him tell me that he wanted a thousand kids and laughed when he said he wanted to call one Little Ranger Jr. By the time I cut myself free and walked over to him, I was smiling.

I tentatively unhooked his legs and gently took the rope from around his neck.

Then I let him wrap me in his arms and cried on his shoulder.

"Does your leg hurt?" I whispered.

"My whole body hurts." He told me. "But don't worry. That won't stop me from holding you."

"You'll have to let me go sooner or later. You need to get to the hospital."

"Later."

Although I wanted to disagree and tell him that he needed to stop being stubborn, I remained silent and let him hold me for a few more seconds, reveling in his warm, strong presence. Then our eyes gravitated towards the dead Malik.

"I'll go call the police and the ambulance." I told him. He reluctantly let me go and shook his head at the figure lying on the ground.

"His plan wasn't even good." Ranger muttered. "I'd never commit suicide."

"Wait......" I said, turning around to furrow my eyebrows at him. "So, you'd whack me off if I bailed out on the marriage?"

He only grinned and I rolled my eyes. But I smiled back in spite of everything else. Malik was dead. I wasn't aching as much, we could finally move on with our lives and Ranger was okay. Battered but okay.

And I had no doubt in my mind that he was going to be alright. He _was_ my fiance, after all. My Batman.

_My rock_.

* * *

^_^ What a bipolar chapter, haha. Hope you enjoyed it.

AND YES; I like Morelli so he wasn't made to look like a bad guy in mah fic. He's cool, bro.

Epilogue to come!


	12. Epilogue

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

This was exactly how I pictured my wedding.

I listened to the soft melody start to play, took a deep breath and watched as the doors to the church opened into the large sitting area. I smiled, hooked elbows with my father and we sashayed down the aisle while every oohed and awed.

In the end, my mother had worn me out and scheduled another church. I suppose I could have persuaded her not to but she had a hysterical break down after hearing about Malik and seeing the aftermath so I let her win the argument and here I was. It was beautifully decorated with banners, ribbons and other extraordinary things. But best of all; no doves.

As me and my father neared the pastor, my eyes sought out my love; Ranger. He had stitches in his head, a cast on his arm, a brace on his leg and was taking enough painkillers to take down an elephant but, of course, that wasn't going to stop Mr. I-can-do-it-all from wedding me. No amount of warning from the doctor, me or anyone else could do that was what he had stated millions of times beforehand.

After the Malik incident and him getting admitted into the hospital, I convinced him that we could move the wedding date back. We argued and argued until I finally relented and we ended up having it only a few days after the original date. Another opening for my mom to rent a church.

And so here I was. Walking down the aisle with my dad, siding up with my damaged husband-to-be, with Connie, Lula and Mary Lou as my bridesmaid and Tank, Lester and Hal as the groomsmen.

Before my father let me go, he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You're not marrying him because he's threatening you, are you?"

Okay, so maybe this wasn't _exactly_ how I pictured my wedding. Maybe I pictured no churches, less pink bridesmaid dresses, a little less people and a healthy groom but hey, it was close enough.

I glared at my dad and he stepped to the side. I saw his light smile and decided to take his statement as a joke. I glanced at Ranger and saw he was smiling too.

The pastor talked, we said our 'I do's' and then we embraced in a kiss that made all the areas of the wedding that bugged me seem so insignificant and childish.

Ranger loved me and I loved him. Nothing was every going to change that. And as we walked (or in his case; limped) back down the aisle, the happy cheers and uproars from the crowd echoing in my ear, I knew that there was nothing I'd rather do than spend every night lying beside him and waking up every morning to his face.

I couldn't feel anymore ecstatic and complete than this.

********

"Should we help her?"

"She'll be fine." I replied, biting back a smile and patting him on the knee. My eyes were locked onto Lula who was lying on the dance floor passed out. Ranger was sitting beside me, his good arm draped around the back of the seat, smirk hovering over his lips. Let me tell you ladies, even bandaged up, Carlos Manoso looked _good_.

At the moment, the reception was in full swing. Everyone was dancing, laughing, talking, congratulating us. But being the uncoordinated dancer I was, I was sitting down going to town on the wedding cake. It was mines, anyway right? Some people liked to dance, others liked to eat over ten pounds of sugar. And this wasn't just any wedding cake. This was a super decker, German chocolate with lots of icing on it. I got to pick it out. The little stick figurines that resembled the bride and groom were either on the table or in my mouth, I wasn't sure.

"You're going to bust out of your dress." Ranger said, staring at my plate. His left leg, the one in the brace, was propped up on a chair.

"I will not! What a rude thing to say to your wife."

He kissed me below the ear. "You'll look beautiful no matter what."

"Yeah, yeah, you're just trying to suck up after that comment." He laughed and kissed me again. I smiled at him and stuffed some more cake into my mouth. "Oh man." I groaned, relishing the taste. "I can't think of anything that's more delicious than wedding cake!"

I realized my hand had slid unconsciously up his leg and was dangerously close to invading Ranger's privacy. I felt him stiffen, lean in behind me and brush a strand of hair from my face to whisper in my ear.

"Give me five minutes to get you out of this dress and I guarantee you won't think twice about wedding cake."

My stomach did a flop and I froze. "What about your leg?"

"I'll take the pain. Hell, I'll chop it off if I have to."

That was all I needed to hear. I dropped my fork, shot up from my seat, hefted him to his feet and dragged him out of there.

I knew from experience that wedding cake had _nothing_ on Ranger.

************

_The T.V flickered on to show a camera as it zoomed in and out. The fuzzy picture finally cleared and it turned out to be Connie sitting down at the one of the tables, empty plates laid around her with a passed out Lula sleeping on her shoulder. Connie glanced up, noticed the camera and tried to shield her face._

_"Come on! Say something to the bride and groom!" The person holding the camera urged._

_Connie sighed and smiled. "Congratulations guys. Hope you live happily ever after and I expect to see you, Stephanie, because there's some skips still out there!"She nodded towards the large, woman lying on her. "And Lula says congrats too."_

_The camera turned away from the ladies and focused on Tank who was sitting down as well with a cat on his lap and a hamster cage on the table before him. He noticed the camera and grinned. "Uh well, congrats and...live long and well." He petted Reese on her head and put up the peace sign._

_The camera landed on Grandma Mazur the next time. She was grinding up against a younger gentlemen on the floor."If Ranger gets tired of my granddaughter, he still has me!_

_"Good grief." The camera whizzed away and its next victims were Mr. and Mrs. Plum. Ellen Plum looked up from downing whiskey and smiled sheepishly. _

_"I'd just like to say that I'm proud of you, sweetie and I'm happy that you're happy. I love you." She paused and then elbowed her husband in the ribs._

_"I love you too." The old man grumbled reluctantly._

_The next image was of Valerie with her husband Albert and her three kids sitting at a table. She looked up from ticking her infant. "Hope you like married life as much as I do, sis!"_

_Albert patted his wet forehead, opened his mouth and fainted. The girls peered down at him and the camera skittered away to someone else._

_"Although I wasn't invited initially even though I am your MOTHER," Ms. Manoso frowned disapprovingly, turning from her conversation with two older, darker looking men. "I'm happy you're finally settling down. I expect grand children VERY soon."_

_The camera flew towards another target._

_Vinnie stared. "WHAT? What do you want?"_

_It moved pass him and landed on Eddie Gazzara. He was standing at the bar, a beer in his hand with Big Dog next to him. He turned, smiled warmly and lifted his can."You're ruined now. Marriage is the first day of the end of your life. Have fun." _

_"Great sentiment Gazzara." The cameraman stated flatly._

_Big Dog laughed and said, "Don't mind him. He's wasted. Congrats Steph and Ranger."_

_The camera skimmed to another man. "I'll miss seeing you around, Steph. Congrats and good luck on everything." Her landlord, Dillion nodded._

_The next person it stopped on was Mooner. "How'd I get here, bro?"_

_It forged on, paused and flashed to the left to land on two guys laughing and walking away from the congo line. "Say something to the groom and bride, guys!" _

_The men turned and blinked. "Congratulations! We'll know you'll be happier with Ranger than with Joe!" Mooch and Tony burst into laughter after their phrase, punching each other in the gut,_

_"How sweet. And you're suppose to be family." The cameraman grumbled, moving on._

_He zoomed onto Lester, Hal and a few other Rangeman employees. They were lined up, and grinning. Lester counted to three and then they all exclaimed, "Congratulations Bombshell and Carlos!"_

_The camera made a full 360 and bobbed up and down while the cameraman traveled. It flickered by people dancing, talking, and ended up on a man hunched over at the buffet, chowing down on the shrimp. "What the hell are you doing here!?"_

_The man turned around to expose himself. Diesel grinned. "Like I'd miss this." He winked. "You know, I always thought she'd end up with you."_

_"Did you now?"_

_"Nah. It was either Ranger or me." He waved at the camera. "Good job on that, sweetcheeks. You finally got married. Wouldn't even believe it if I wasn't here."_

_"Were you even invited?"_

_"Yes if by invited you mean snuck in."_

_There was a sigh from the cameraman and he walked away. He stopped before a random man, shoved the camera at him and told him to aim it at him. There was some shuffling and flashing of colors before picture came back. Morelli was standing in front of it, grinning from ear to ear. He had Bob by the leash who was trying very hard to chew at a table leg and there was a commotion in the background while the reception party continued on._

_"Well..uh..I'd just like to say congratulations guys. And well...I'm glad I was here and Steph, I'm glad your happy. You deserve it. Ranger, take good care of her and uh...well, that's it. Congrats again."_

_There was a little awkward pause where Morelli just stood there._

_"I said that's it."_

_Another pause. Morelli turned towards the man holding the camera and narrowed his eyes. "That's it!" He growled, stomped over to it and pushed it away. "Get that damn camera out of my face!"_

_Then everything went black._

_

* * *

_

Weird ending, I know. I actually got the idea for that from Roseanne. Haha. && No, that wasn't Stephanie's POV at the end. It was third I guess.

Well...Gee, that's the end. No smut. Sorry. Haha._ Wow_. I can't believe I finished it! Whoo! ^_^ I just want to thank my mother for giving birth to me and-

Nah, just kidding. But thanks to you reviewers out there! Hope you enjoyed my story.

Peace and Love.


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